Am I being too pushy on dates? I could use some advice.
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Very strange commentary, Jeff. From what you wrote, which obviously is more your perspective than your date’s, you had legal consent but far from fully willing consent from your date. She turned your down once, and your go-to response was more drinking and then ask again. Is it any wonder she has regrets and feels manipulated by you. I don’t understand how her take on you can be other than that you had one very determined goal for the date and that goal wasn’t to build a relationship.
Yes, your prior relationships may have begun as hook-up, but you weren’t 36 then, weren’t looking for a long-term relationship then, and — very big point, all women are individuals, making generalizations that first-date hook-ups and relationships are compatible of suspect validity. You say you’ve hooked up a lot. You say you’ve been searching for a relationship recently. Yet only twice, and apparently not very recently, did that approach work for you. I think most view seeking a relationship and seeking sex on first date to be two quite different goals for a first date.
You didn’t contact her after the date. She contacted you to say she doesn’t want a second date. You couldn’t accept that. Your feelings were hurt. Did you really desire a real relationship with her or did you just want the chance to prove to her that you actually could perform in bed?
I think pride is the problem, as it is in many of your responses here. You tell yourself that you are so great in bed that your sexual prowess can turn a first-date hook-up into a relationship, whenever you are sufficiently into a woman. In your initial post you say you have a string of many hook-ups but no recent relationships, because you’ve yet to find a worthy woman. That’s self ego-massage. Your date tried to let you down easy, but you pressed her for a reason. She gave you reasons; you can’t accept them. You know as well as we do that her answer of a lack of chemistry translates to your pushiness followed by inability to perform has her thinking ‘never again with this guy’.
I didn’t day fuck you until page 12. Because you were harassing me about sexual assault. That’s NiceGuyJeff!
Fuck you, Jeff. We gave you the same stupid advice you finally say you’re listening to on page 1, you were just too much of a shitty, whiny baby to take it and instead started arguing back and mansplaining my tone and telling me how I should treat an idiotic 36 year old who has to get dating tips about consent of an article written for college students.
You’re pathetic, which is why women don’t want to come home with you, and then when they do…you can’t perform. That’s why she doesn’t want a date number two, you’re pushy, you suck in bed and you don’t consider any one’s experience but your own. In short, you just suck, Jeff.
And just for extra fun, fuck you again, Jeff.
Because no adult says hooking up! 20 year old drunk kids who’ve never ever grown up do, I guess.
If you don’t think you should know better than an 18 year old, when you’re twice that age…you’re an idiot. That’s sad and pathetic and you should be ashamed of your uneducated self. Instead you argue and continue and come back top for more.
“I’m from New York, I’m so smart. I get my dating tips from vox.com.” LOL so great!
I’m so glad to know that I got to you, Jeff. I hate misogynistic jerks like you, who think nothing of the pain you’re causing other people. Did you sleep well thinking of what a nice guy you were for badgering me about rape last night? That’s was ever so kind of you. So mature! You’re such a great guy, so weird that you’re STILL single with women giving you their regrets the day after…
By the way yelling requires caps lock. You should also know that, being an internet baby. What do you know about? Bars?
“A women said she felt uncomfy and icky about our date. Should I reconsider my behavior?”
“Nope, too much booze and me pressuring her wasn’t it, FUCK YOU ANONYMOUSSE STOP YELLING AT ME!” Am I going to change what I do or reconsider what I do or how I behave on “dates” after 15 years? Nope!”
-10 pages of one sided stupid arguments from a Jeff later-
The truth comes out-
(Jeff couldn’t get it up.)
@Copa – I love you.
Having lived in NYC for over 20 years, as well as other cities… even I’m rolling my eyes at “no, here in NYC we do things differently”. Nah, it’s no different than any other place except there are more public transportation options.
Comedy aside, it’s very scary that a man is walking around saying, consent is so confusing, whatever I do is right 🤷🏼♂️. And he doesn’t even understand the implications of that.
There should absolutely not be any communication issues regarding consent in your mid thirties. Unless maybe you’ve grown up on a deserted island or Amish? That was an alarming comment that stood out to me. Consent is confusing…no, it’s really shouldn’t be by 36. Yikes, NiceGuyJeff.
