Am I being too pushy on dates? I could use some advice.
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Copa’s absolutely brilliant summation of this thread aside I still can’t believe in this year of Beyonce 2023 we still get men head scratching about consent.
‘she said directly to me that she felt pushed, what could she possibly have meant?! Women are such a mystery.’
I think she was ‘keen’ as she’d really enjoyed the date and she didn’t want to mess up what she thought might turn into a good thing. So as we all have done before I’m sure she went beyond what she would have normally been ok with because hey, if it’s decent it could turn into something nice. Instead it turned into a pouty dick clusterfuck that thankfully cleansed her of any thoughts of continuing and here we are today.
BTW Pouty Dick Clusterfuck is now my band name. If I see it out in the wild I will absolutely be lawyering up.
I’m sure Jeff is long gone now, but I wanted to point out something in case he’s still poking around
It was you who perceived Anonymousse and Kate’s early posts as aggressive, when they really weren’t. They were direct with you and straight to the point, which you saw as seen as aggressive because of how women are typically socialized to cater toward men’s feelings. You responded even more aggressively and escalated things.
This behavior is exactly the kind that women are wary of and why consent is a tricky issue: You never know how a man is going to react to a woman being direct. You reacted like you were being attacked and got defensive.
I have serious doubts you would have reacted that way if Ron or I had given you the exact same comments.
Let a day and the anger pass for me. Bad feelings and swearing and my whiskey dick aside, this has been a fun convo! No joke. I learned something and I’ll say it at the end. I wish everyone a great life and good debate. We should all go out for a drink sometime in NY. Find me at the neighborhood bar. Some people say immature and juvenile…some people say charming and fun-loving. To each their own.
Lesson: It’s good to ask and clarify, perhaps twice is too eager and even pushy. Take care everyone. Anonymousse, I love you! Enjoy the spring day, wherever you are.
Ehh, Jeff. I doubt we’d do well in person. I eat men for breakfast.
Bloody, you are truly so succinct and read things well. I like that. It was so nice to see Vathena chip in and other friends. Such a funny thread.
This was an adventure, and I feel closer to my DW community. Love you guys, because &&anythingcanhappen## on these forums. Happy Friday, my friends.
Hopefully you will also learn that if you get consent wrong, that’s not considered a bad hookup…
