Am I being too pushy on dates? I could use some advice.
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Why does it matter to you so much why she passed on you? It was one date. Can you not just tell yourself you weren’t a match and move on? Especially if you think it seems silly and regressive(??) to be cautious about who from the internet you go home with.
It’s interesting that now she’s given you a percentage of how much she was into the sex now. 60% is not the amount you should be aiming for, it should be 100% or nothing, buddy.
In that case, a fair question… I think the difference and border between asking (say the third date is going well and I think it’s okay to ask for a kiss or to come over) and being pushy is thin. How would you tell the difference between the two? What would you do?
Copa: it doesn’t matter that she passed on me. We’re not a match and I moved on. I’m trying to learn about one small section of our date… which is the double ask and how to not come across as pushy in the future, since that isn’t my intent.
You ask them! My god, how old are you in actuality?
How are you pushy? How are you not? Do you let women take the lead? Maybe you should try that for a little bit.
I think the podunk comment was in response to this comment.
“I don’t think hooking up on a first date should be any real indicator of intent… it should be one of interest. But that’s just me and that’s where I come from on this having… grown up in NYC I guess.”
I took it similarly to how Anonymousse did.
Since no one else has brought it up, I’d like to propose another possibility of why things turned for the worse on this date: Maybe your date was not feeling the sexual connection with you and it changed her perspective on how the date went.
Anonymousse: I did ask, and I’m 36.
To Kate previously: Oddly, I don’t think she was that drunk… she had 3 drinks and I don’t think was very drunk after 8-9 hours of being out.
It’s not that confusing, Jeff, and I’m saying that as someone who met their spouse online dating in a large Northeastern city.
You ask. You communicate. You can’t be a 30-something male in 2023 and be saying that consent is confusing.
bloodymediocrity: Yeah so I’m sorry it came off that way. I just assume hookup culture here IS indeed different from other places. And I don’t think it’s wrong to believe otherwise but I am setting some context here on why… I don’t think hooking up on a first date is bad at all. If you disagree that’s fine but that’s almost orthogonal to the conversation.
