DW Community Catch-up Thread
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Hey guys! I had a wonderful first date on Saturday. I am doing my best to calm myself down because we had such a great time together and really clicked. I have been seeing another guy for about 6 weeks and although we have fun i haven’t really felt any relationship potential. So he has been more like a fun post-breakup rebound.
I am trying to temper my expectations because it was just a great date, but we definitely had chemistry in a way I have not experienced in quite a long time. SO exciting stuff!
TheLadyE, I’m sorry to hear that 🙁
I didn’t ask Toastmasters Guy out last Thursday, mainly because there were just too many people there. I do have his email and I could email him something about what he mentioned and then ask if he wanted to go out for coffee but I’m not sure. I’d love to get to know him better, but in the long scheme of things August is not that far away. Also, I can’t tell if I actually like him or if he’s both normal and cute and I’m just thirsty/hormonal.
So I ended up hooking up with a guy last night after hanging out with him for most of the weekend, woo!
We met through a hiking meetup group and I gave him my number when he mentioned he played softball and his team was sometimes short players. Since I have played before I told him to contact me the next time they needed someone. So this past Friday I played a double header with his team, lots of fun, impressed the players with my surprisingly mad skills haha Then he asked if I was free saturday so we could hang out (we are both new to the city so we were both looking for friends and people to hang with and to explore the city more). So Saturday we hung out till 1AM, going back at his place to watch Sherlock the BBC show. THEN Sunday he took me out quadding and shooting in the foothills near the rockies. So much fun. During Sat and Sun he kept flirting with me physically through grazes or touches on my arm, leg or lower back. Since I am not dating I didn’t reciprocate in case he was interested in something serious. Then Sunday after quadding I suggested we go back to his place (after I determined he was interested in something, I figured why not push things forward and get us back to his place). Sure enough he ended up kissing me, and after letting him know I was more into friendship and or something casual, he agreed and we slept together! Good times. Might see him in a couple weeks to join him and his friends on a Canada Day camping trip.
I can’t remember why or where we were talking about guys who fool you with their love-bombing tactics, but I think it was this thread… It made me remember the LoveFraud website. Anyway, this quick article is worth a read. 3% of adult males have antisocial personality disorder (are sociopaths), and it’s good to understand that this kind of OVER-attentiveness is a red flag. 3% doesn’t sound like a lot, but these guys get AROUND, often dating/scamming multiple women at once. And there’s a whole bunch of guys out there scamming lonely women on online dating sites too.
http://www.lovefraud.com/2016/06/20/6-reasons-why-sociopaths-seem-so-romantic-but-theyre-all-fake/
Get it, Cleopatra! I met my bf through a hiking meetup group, and I know you’re not looking for anything serious right now, but it’s a great type of group to meet people for any type of fun 😉 and it’s nice because then they will usually have similar interests to you as well.
@Cleo That is awesome! Hooray for fun hookups!
@Sararosie That is exciting! Sounds like a heavy dose of NRE, which I have totally gotten after an especially good first date with a lot of chemistry
@MaterialsGirl Congrats on your wedding! Honeymoons are great. My ex and I just went and got a cabin and played board games for a week and it was amazing
@Kate Yeah that was this thread, cause of the guy who lied to me. A lot. His partner and I have since sort of come to the conclusion that it’s more likely that he’s a narcissist than a sociopath. I’m recovering and spending a bunch of time alone.Guys! I had a date with a Clark Kent lookalike this weekend. He’s really attractive and there’s definitely chemistry, at least for a short term fling. He’s kind of Bro-ish, but in a way that’s not totally obnoxious, just kind of dorky. And he’s very direct and straightforward, which I dig.
So i have a question, what kind of contact do you guys think is appropriate after a first date? I feel like it varies between these guys that will text a lot vs ones that will not get in touch for days at a time. Sometimes i have a hard time distinguishing between what is normal (aka we have had one date so prob may not be communicating a ton) or what is potentially a red flag?
After the first date you should always text and say thanks and you had a great time, if you want to see them again. If that text doesn’t happen, I.e. You hear nothing, that’s a red flag. Texting anything that makes you uncomfortable is another red flag. Anything in between is probably normal?
Guys I starting using Tinder and OMG. Things are bleak out there. Out of hundreds of people swiped right on two and my (married of course) friends were shrieking the whole time that I was being way too picky. How picky are you guys on apps? The two guys matched so casually texting them both but I don’t know what to say it’s so odd.
@sararosie43 Truth is there is no right answer, go with your gut and do what you want to do. If it’s too much/isn’t enough then hes not a great match for you. For me, I agree with Kate the after date thank you text is pretty standard.If I had a good time and want to see the person again, I always text after a first date telling him I had a good time. I think it’s polite and now he knows I’m interested. If I don’t hear back, then I know it wasn’t a match. If I do, great! So basically, I agree with kmt and kate.
But, that said, I wouldn’t expect a lot of texting after a first date. If there’s not a second date set pretty quickly, what’s the point to keep communicating?
