@veritek33, to answer your question: yes, I do want to kiss him for sure.

I am also “unconventional” though I guess in that I won’t have sex outside of a committed relationship, so while this pace is slower than I would like it’s not terrible, if that makes sense. We met on OKCupid and have been seeing each other once a week at least for 2 months. I really like to get to know a guy before moving forward physically with him, obviously, so any sooner than this would’ve been premature for my liking.

It’s now to the point where I think something should definitely happen the next 1-2 times we hang out, I think. He knows he is meeting my friends this weekend.

And I just can’t get past the 2 whole days at my house thing. That’s a long time to spend with someone you have no interest in.

Even so, I am going to a comedy show with another guy on Friday (friend from work) and talking to a few other guys on OKC so my options are still very open. I would like to see where things could go with Hippie Artist Guy but I am prepared to accept that it won’t move past good friendship…however most of my relationships start out as good friendships and I think that’s how it should be, anyway.

See, yeah, I wouldn’t mind having someone to commiserate over dating, but the timing of some of those messages was weird. And now that I think about it, the reason he asked if I hooked up probably was because he was looking for something else (despite him saying he didn’t understand hookup culture). Sure it might have been a way to start swapping stories, but personally, I felt it was none of his business. It’s hard to tell tone through words, but that’s that.

@TheLadyE, sounds like you are in a good position with options. You mentioned before that you come from a conservative Christian background, but you said you are moving past that. Do you mind sharing a bit more? No pressure if you don’t want to.

I come from a Christian family and while on the whole my family is liberal (e.g., pro-choice, support same sex couples, women pastors, etc.), my parents definitely instilled in me the no sex before marriage (but no purity ball or anything like that). I’m having a hard time moving past that, and whether I do want to move past that. I have actually become more religious as it helped me through some difficult times recently, but not so much that I am ready to know I want to abstain before marriage. Hypocritical possibly, but that is something I have been thinking about. I know I want to be in a committed relationship at least, but after that… My sister didn’t have sex before marriage and neither did her husband, and they were both in their early 30s when they got married. My sister is not judgmental at all but I feel like if she managed to wait, I have to wait too. I realize that virginity/purity has been overemphasized in western culture but it is hard to untrench it.

@hfantods, Sure thing, I’m happy to expound on that. I’m not sure if this is the right place (this thread I mean) but I’ll say a little and if you’d like to speak privately we can certainly do that too.

I was raised in church, went to “True Love Waits” events, signed a pledge, all that kind of thing. Not quite purity balls, but still, I was definitely taught to wait til marriage. However, like you, my parents are also very liberal, Democrats, support same-sex marriage and women pastors. It sounds like our backgrounds and our families are very similar.

Well, I’m now in my early 30’s, and I’m older than my sister who is 25 and has never even come close to having sex – so I’m the example. I am a Christian in that I believe in Jesus, but I don’t really participate in organized religion. Gosh, just typing that seems hypocritical but I stopped going to church regularly about 2 years ago and now when I do go it just doesn’t seem genuine.

That said, I do feel like it is unrealistic to wait until marriage at this point (my family agrees, not that I’ve talked to them much about me personally but just in general). I’ve had previous relationships that went further than what I was taught to do by Christian standards, but the most serious of them were with a couple different guys who had similar backgrounds as mine and they would end up feeling terrible & guilty. One guy (who I’d been friends with for 3 years) refuses to speak to me anymore after I gave him one of his first sexual experiences (something most people do in their teens or early 20s) at the age of 30, two years ago now. (Don’t want to get too graphic on you, sorry.)

For me personally, I am Christian, but also, in my early 30’s having had a few relationships, my decision is that I won’t have sex outside of a committed relationship…and that’s good enough for me, for now.

That sounds fun, @shakeourtree! I love meteor showers.

Have fun, @Shakeourtree! That sounds amazing.

I can’t wait to hear details about the date! Hopefully the tide is turning. Maybe all the psotive energy here helps? My date from last week asked me to do something over the weekend, but I was out of town. We might do something this week, but I have a lot planned with my friends this week.