DW Community Catch-up Thread
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@TheLadyE Out of curiosity, why on earth would you spend three hours with someone you’re just not feelin’? If things aren’t going well, I politely excuse myself and bolt after a drink, which usually takes about an hour.
Still nailing down the plan for tomorrow evening. I told the guy I’d prefer to meet up after work vs. later in the evening because it’s a busy week for me, and now he’s trying to be all accommodating and push it back to another day. But I don’t want to postpone it anymore. Like, even just grabbing a cup of coffee would be great so we can meet and see if it’s worthwhile to meet again.
I’m excited for my Tuesday date. We have the time and place nailed down, and it’s at a place I really like. My hopes are high, which isn’t great, but oh well!
I had a first date yesterday and took a different approach than normal by having minimal messaging/texting in advance and going pretty quickly to meeting. I found that I wasn’t that excited going into it because I felt like I didn’t know all that much about him. The actual hangout was fine and conversation was easy but I’m not sure I felt a spark there. He texted this morning saying hi and wanting to make seeing Wonder Woman happen (because neither of us have seen it yet) but I don’t know… How much of a chance do you guys give something when you’re just kind of meh about the dude?
I think it depends how meh you are. I try to be more open to second dates if the guy was nice, conversation was interesting, and I could see myself being attracted to him even if I wasn’t off the bat. If you’re still meh after 2-3 dates, move on.
@hfantods, eHarmony makes you answer a ton of questions about yourself. I can’t remember the details about matching because I was on it maybe 5 years ago, but if you’re in a mid-sized city it might be worth it, although it wasn’t my favorite of the dating sites. I live in a suburban area and I didn’t have many matches unless I increased my radius to include NYC, which is about 90 minutes away. I wasn’t really looking to date anyone that far away. I did go out on 2 or 3 dates through it, but nothing went further. My dad met his long term gf on eHarmony, though!
When I was online dating, for about a year, I found that the guys I was more “ugh” about meeting were generally not a match in person, BUT, guys I was meh about before meeting might be the guy I ended up marrying. I emailed back and forth a bit on Match with my husband and was almost ready to give it up because it took us a few weeks to meet. I wasn’t *excited* about going on the date, and then while he was nice and fun to talk to and not bad looking, I wasn’t sure about a second date. I guess I’m saying, don’t spend too much time up front online/Skype/texting trying to develop a spark, because it will either be there when you meet, or not. And if, on the first date, you didn’t necessarily fall in love, if you feel like you wouldn’t mind a second date, just go on another one. Only decline if you just can’t see sitting through another couple drinks with him.
@Copa, because we met for lunch and I was hungry and also he just would.not.stop.talking enough for me to really get a word in edgewise. I cut it off at 3 hours citing that I had to get home and let my dog out (true) and I think I had something else going on that night. Maybe rookie mistake scheduling a lunch rather than coffee or a quick drink, but at least I knew after that one time that I for sure never wanted to see him again and I made that very clear.
I’ve had dinner dates as first online dates before, and luckily those have never been my worse dates. I haven’t done that in a long time, though. since I’m now pretty adamant about making sure the first meeting can be quick — drinks, coffee, whatever. Tonight, we’re doing coffee and crepes. Aw. (PUMPED for Nutella.) And if I need an “out,” I am genuinely busy prepping for a work trip. So even if he’s great, I don’t plan to stay out with him longer than like two hours. When I’m out with someone and we have zero chemistry and little in common, even an hour feels painful. So I can’t imagine three.
Have fun on your dates Copa!
You guys remember a month or two back I told you about the guy I went out on two dates with last summer, he resurfaced, apologized and we went out again? Yeah well he did the same thing again. Haven’t heard from him since Saturday of Memorial Day weekend. Haven’t reached out to him because I wanted to see how long it would take for him to reach back out. So I’ll probably here from him in another six months lol. I don’t know that it was a love connection but he might have made a good friend, guess we’ll never know now!
I deleted Bumble – no good had come from it since January. That was my only active profile for a long time so I’ve toyed with the idea of reactivating Match. Just still so discouraged by all the time wasters out there. My town is FINALLY starting to get more meetup groups so I might try one of those. I know a long time ago someone told me I should start a group but I just don’t have time to organize something like that. I think hopefully I can find a good one around here to try. Happy Monday everyone.
Oh, and I bought myself an inflatable kiddie pool yesterday and sat in my backyard drinking wine and listening to podcasts and gave no fucks what the neighbors thought. I highly recommend it to everyone.
