DW Community Catch-up Thread
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Only 27 days til I head back to the UK! I just mailed him a care package of goodies and HOLY SH*T is it ever expensive to send international parcels! Yikes, won’t be doing that again any time soon.
I went out to dinner with some women from my church, all in their 30s or early 40s, and I was the only one who wasn’t married with children. It was fine, and they didn’t make me feel excluded, but it’s just such a different world. I wish I had more female friends at my stage in life who were a little freer with their time. My best friend from college doesn’t have children, but she packs her schedule with so many activities with her twin sister that there’s, like, never any time for me. I emailed her the other day and she said she won’t be available til September. 🙁
So anyway, I’m home tonight trying not to drink wine before I go to sleep cause calories. Bah.
I had a great time on my date! I truly thought he’d be awkward company and it’d be an hour-long date, max, but he was super pleasant! He had a friend’s b-day party this evening, which I knew beforehand and was glad about because I figured it’d be a good “out” if/when needed. He ended up leaving for it about an hour later than planned and invited me to come along, but I have a foster dog right now and had to get home to check on her. I hope to see him again. Yay for low expectations!
This is fairly random/dumb, but earlier today, I was looking at the views of an Instagram story I posted. One of the viewers was an ex’s wife. She was the other woman, they got married very soon after we broke up, and it took me a looong time to get over it. And, I dunno, it kinda upset me, which seems pretty silly given that it’s Instagram, but I just don’t wanna think about them, ever, because they really hurt me. It’s been a few years at this point, but I still can’t really think back on that time without feeling sad.
That’s good! When I had my first date with my husband, there was nothing that made me “excited” to go on the date, but when I did, it was a good time. I also left to take the dog out 🙂
There are so many problems with social media. From the aggressive anti-Hillary fake news that we now know was rampant on Facebook before and during the election and could be custom-targeted via the platform, to privacy concerns re: kids’ pictures, to bullying and harming people, to people showing up somewhere where you checked in, to “stalking,” to plain old jealousy.
All I have now is a private Instagram with like 50 people, and I’ve found I’ve been in touch a lot more via text and actually going out for dinner or drinks with people IRL. I may get rid of insta too. I just think social media causes more problems than it’s worth. If you have a public insta or a lot of things shared publicly on FB, it’s pretty certain that people like your ex’s wife will look at it. She’s probably been doing so for a while, among others. If that makes you uncomfortable, you could go private.
Also, the stuff I’m doing in my new job is very focused on digital advertising, search, etc. Ssocial media companies track all your online activities and target info and ads to you based on where you go, who you are friends with, what you’re interested in. It’s pretty creepy once you get into it in depth. They own you.
I don’t update Facebook often. My Instagram is public, but super boring. It’s mostly photos of scenery — photos I take when I’m on runs, things I see in my city that I think are beautiful or cool, trips — and animals that don’t belong to me. (Ha.) I don’t post many photos of myself, my friends, or my family. I was surprised she has any interest in me after all this time. I’ve definitely checked on my partners’ significant exes on social media before, but it’s usually just one or two looks early on out of curiosity. I’ve never been so curious about someone’s ex that I’m still creepin’ years later. So yeah, I was surprised, and while I’m sure she didn’t mean to click on my story and leaving a trace of her presence, I don’t love being reminded of that whole mess.
She might not even know that stories show who looked at them. Or she clicked by accident and is cringing.
I don’t think it matters too much what you post. There are a couple people I check up on and judge, and their Instagram are objectively totally boring. I like to keep it locked up… but also I was raised by a mom who went through my shit.
@Kate I’m really interested in what you’re doing with your new job! I specialize in digital advertising strategy, so I know all the ways that Facebook owns people and while it’s a bit creepy, it’s also fascinating and amazing for creating a targeting strategy 🙂 I’m on LinkedIn if you’re ever interested in connecting outside of DW.
Yeah it’s fascinating and amazing until the Russians get ahold of it and manipulate our presidential election.
I basically sell shopper insights to Google to help their advertisers do that stuff even better 😉
I thought about posting a screenshot of the story views to give her something fun to look at next time. Ha. From what I gleaned about her several years ago, she’s obsessed with social media and used to post about every date she and my ex went on. (Incidentally, her need to share every last detail of every date with 500 of her closest friends on Facebook is how I found out about them.) She’s the kind of over-sharer that I put on mute on my own feed, because those are the kinds of people that make me wonder if they’re looking for validation. I’m sure she knows she left a trace, and I hope she’s feeling like an idiot. She’s free to judge me if she wants.
