DW Community Catch-up Thread
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Definitely don’t beg him for anything. Just say “Ok thank you for your honesty” and walk away. You got this.
@TheLadyE When I’ve been broken up with, I’ve always told myself that it doesn’t matter WHY the guy broke up with me. All that matters is that he didn’t want to be with me. I know it can be hard not to dwell and bang your head against the wall wonder WTF just happened, but I would try not to focus on the reasons he cited and the things he said. All that matters is that he said he doesn’t want to be with you, and that’s that. Don’t beg him back, because that never ends well. And even if you were fairly compatible, I do think after 1-2 months of dating (right?), it can be hard to know if that’s actually true, and it also doesn’t mean there aren’t plenty more equally-if-not-more compatible men out there.
I am feeling just so incredibly sad right now. I really really like him and we had such a great time together. I think he is really stupid for throwing this away and I feel really insulted that he doesn’t see that. Grrr. 🙁
@TheLadyE it’s ok to feel sad right now. You had great expectations. What is not ok is to keep dwelling on the reasons for the break up.
I had a relationship for a long time (aprox. 7 years) and when my ex broke up with me it was out of the blue. It was a bucket of cold iced water over my head. I couldn’t believe how he would throw away something so good. Well, with time I was realized that things were great… for me. Things were not at all great for him. And he had hinted that for a long time before, I just never saw it.
I’m sorry to tell you this, but maybe it wasn’t so good for him. He ended it. And eventually you’ll see it. It was good for you now because it was new and fresh and you thought you were compatible but maybe in the long run you weren’t really that compatible. Only time and understanding will give you that.
Thankfully it was short and you can move on without any hassle, and thankfully he didn’t make you waste any more time.
I’m sorry you’re feeling sad, LadyE. Take it easy on yourself, let yourself be upset for a couple days and then brush this off and move on. I know it’s easier said than done because I’ve been there. But let’s keep it in perspective: this was, what, a 6-week relationship? Two months? You didn’t really know each other very well yet. You were excited about the future, but it was a fantasy so far. I know it’s easy to get caught up in a fantasy, to get excited about someone with whom we have good chemistry and reciprocal interest and attraction. But you need to remember while you are grieving the end of this, that what you are mostly mourning is the *idea* of something, just as what you were most excited about (I think) was the *idea* of something — of having a boyfriend, someone to make plans with, someone to spend time with, someone to love and be loved back by. So… this guy won’t be that guy, and that sucks. But that just means there’s a better match for you.
I just got home from our second date. We went to a cook out at his friends’ place, and tbh meeting his friends seemed super soon/a little weird to me, but I kept an open mind and said yep, count me in. I wanted to see him this weekend knowing I have guests coming into town this week and travel for work the next. And you guys, I loved his friends. They were friendly and welcoming and funny. I was kinda worrying I wasn’t paying enough attention to him because I was having so much fun chatting with them. After we ate/drank, we went to a street fest. It was such a fun night, but I had to cut it a bit short to take the dog out. We had a semi-awkward kiss goodnight as my Lyft driver Luis watched and got honked at, ha.
Oh, and remember my ex’s wife who was all over my Insta? I chalked that up to a mistake that she felt embarrassed about. In any case, I’m a little late to the stories feature on that app but have posted a few over the course of the week. It’s now evident that I’m a regular stop for the crazy train: She creeps my account multiple times per day, which I think is absurd.
Little late, @theladye, but I am sorry to hear about your break up. Hope you have been recovering well and living your best life!
@copa, does your ex’s wife follow you on Insta? Because Stories automatically play once you start watching somebody’s Stories so it’s possible that she’s viewed your Stories because it just automatically forwarded to yours. But I think the ~algorithm~ puts the users you frequent earlier in your Stories order so it’s quite likely that she does stalk your Insta 😛 (And if she doesn’t follow you, then it’s pretty stupid of her to view your Stories).
@hfantods She’s deliberately seeking it out! We’re not friends, she doesn’t follow me. It was a messy break-up (ex cheated, and I have no doubt he was lying to her as well). I’ve never met her, and while I know she has nothing to do with how I was treated, I strongly dislike her notwithstanding. I’m sure she feels the same (she sent me mean texts from their engagement party). This was years ago, though. I went to therapy to get my self esteem back together. They got married, had a baby, and I’ll be surprised if they don’t have another soon. If she was checking on me on occasion, I’d think that’s within the realm of normal. There are people I check up on occasionally out of curiosity (like some exes!). Multiple times per day after all this time? That’s… pretty f’ing weird, IMO.
