DW Community Catch-up Thread
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@TheLadyE Take a dating break! It sounds like you need one.
FWIW, I thought I was going to dislike my therapist because she’s about three years older and I thought she wasn’t experienced enough. If you’ve found someone you like, that’s great, but I’ve found it really helpful to have a therapist who went through the modern and online dating scene herself. I’ve definitely gone in and cried about things that I consider fairly stupid (like getting ghosted after five dates), but she’s super empathetic because she’s been there, too. And it helps just hearing someone say, “This happened to me a lot when I was dating, and it affected me.”
Hijacking for a pupdate: My puppy has parvo and we won’t get to be together for at least 14 days while he’s in isolation. After that, there is a recovery period that requires a special type of foster situation. I was expecting him tomorrow and I’m kinda sad about it, but on the bright side it means my current foster gets to be an only child for a bit longer (and will hopefully even be adopted before he gets to me).
@Copa so sorry to hear your new pup has parvo! 🙁 That’s so scary. I hope he gets to feeling better very soon and can come home!
Ironically, my therapist equated a serious relationship with getting a puppy or kitten and that my ex didn’t realize how much effort goes into it even though there’s a huge amount of reward, too. Being a dog mom myself (and someone who got her puppy at 8 weeks old! she’s 9 now), I actually wrote a blog post about it this weekend. So it all ties together.
Sorry to hear about the parvo, copa. Hope your pup feels better soon.
I think I have a date this Saturday afternoon. I think 1% of me wants to go just to get out of this dating rut, but for the most part, I’d like to meet up with this guy because he actually seems to have a personality that comes out through text. I guess I can’t really tell if I’m physically attracted to the him, but I’m hoping the pictures aren’t great and it’ll be easier to tell in person, of course.
@hfantods I am rarely excited for dates, and tbh, I think it helps. I thought I’d hate the guy I’ve recently been out on a couple dates with, and was pleasantly surprised. Don’t try to gauge physical attraction through photos. I’ve typically found people better looking in person, but sometimes they don’t look like their photos orrrr chemistry just falls flat and you’re not attracted to them regardless of their looks. Good luck!
@TheLadyE I would take break ups pretty hard – even for short relationships. I would do the same – put myself out there, feel overwhelmed, hate it and then take myself off. It was after a pretty bad break up in my early 20s that I just stopped dating totally for several years. I LOVED those years. I wasn’t even looking, no one offered to set me up, I was just happy being me. I think you’ve said you’re in your 30s? so it may not be an options. But yeah – take a break. Pick yourself up a new hobby. I think you’ve gotten enough beat down about this new guy you know what to do there.
Do you have some single lady friends? Heck, I’d even offer up my phone # to be the person to text instead of the new guy when the temptation gets too much.
@TheHizzy Thank you, that is so nice! I really appreciate the kind words. I am taking this very hard. Thank goodness for my therapist. I’ve decided to put dating/finding a relationship out of focus/on the back burner until the end of the year at least, because I just can’t even imagine it.
There is a lot of temptation to text the new guy because he is Very Interested and it’s nice to have that validation but I know that’s a bad idea right now for a whole host of reasons. I don’t have a lot of single girlfriends and the ones I do have are…not as compassionate, heh. I don’t really have a “girl squad,” though I have reached out to a couple people who have helped so much. I would be very willing to virtually connect, and thank you so much for offering! I wonder how we could connect numbers without giving them to the whole world to see?
TheLadyE, do you have an “extra” email account that you use for things that might inundate you with spam? You could post it here, and check it today & tomorrow. If there’s a message from someone who identifies as TheHizzy AND she offers a number you can text her at, there you go! You’ll know it’s really TheHizzy. And use the forms like the this-is-my-address dodge to further confuse automated “scrapers”. Otherwise, you can ignore any spam as you usually do and let it age off. That work?
Best wishes!
I went camping a couple weekends ago with a guy friend that I was crushing on. The camping spots were full so we set up camp in the wilderness section which was near Valentines Cave. Hehe. Got camp set up and went to the visitor center to watch the meteor shower. We sat under the stars till late at night counting the shooting stars. We both got to know one another very well and realized we have so much in common. It became pretty intimate just lying together watching the stars. We drove back to our camp site but got turned around walking back to our tents cause he was lead and was wasted. Lol. I lost lead privilege cause I got lost during the daytime. Lol. We eventually got to our tents but weren’t ready to sleep. So he crawled into mine and we drank some more and talked to the wee hours of the morning. At one point he went out for a smoke but there was a song he wanted me to listen to but our phones were dead so he sat outside my tent smoking and singing to me. We ended up cuddling and making out.
Then the next morning he tells me he’s been talking and wanting to see where things go with another person in our community. I of course play it cool and I’m like okay.. do whatever makes you happy while on the inside I’m crying. I still take him on a tour of the cave system. In one cave we went to my spot I like to sit and meditate at and so we sat together meditating inside this awesome cave. He was able to meditate longer than any other friends I’ve taken to the cave. We went to three caves and then I showed him some pictographs. I had to work in the evening so we drove home. It was not a great drive home. I cried into my sunglasses. He slept a lot of it. He kept wanting to stop and have a picnic somewhere but I was like I gotta work..
I got trashed that night and made a fool of myself.
I met some of his friends and they loudly said how much they love me while standing next to him. I cried inside.
I no longer see him with the chick he wanted to go out with. It doesn’t matter much to me. I’m friends with him but he ruined a good thing. So meh. He did make me 5 mixed cds of some awesome songs. So maybe that was an apology in some way.
I haven’t decided if I’m going to drop the hint of camping or nothe yet.
So a college buddy of mine matched with a former co-worker of mine on Bumble and they’re going out next Tuesday. I’M PUMPED. I think they’ll get along, but I don’t think they’d make a good long-term match, so I’m excited to hear about this from both sides.
