DW Community Catch-up Thread
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@LadyE that’s curious, I don’t have a “girl squad” either. I’ve been bummed about it lately because I feel that my woman friends are not as helpful as my guy friends.
My best girlfriend has been my friend since age 15. We had a roadtrip about a month ago and she saw me texting with my ex, never asked anything. After that I told her about our big blowout and she didn’t even mind. That was a month ago and she hasn’t reached out to ask me how I am or anything. Funny thing is I would be all over her if she was the one going through a breakup. That really has me down lately because I really don’t want to talk to her about all of this because she doesn’t care. But I’ve always been there for her.
@Ale Is your friend by chance in a relationship? A friend of mine, who I’ve known since I was 9, used to call me all the time and we’d vent about online dating woes. She met someone a little over a year and a half ago, and I’ve noticed a pretty big shift in how she treats my dating woes now. (She’s fairly dismissive/unsupportive.) At least with my friend, I noticed that it coincided with her relationship. It’s possible if your friend is happily coupled up she may no longer remember how it feels to be dumped? (Just guessing!)
@Ale Interestingly I’ve been thinking about posting a new forum post about this because it does have me pretty upset. I have a couple of female friends my age – one is my best friend from college who I know I can rely on – but she is going through an intense personal tragedy herself so it’s difficult to lean on her emotionally. She does try her best. Outside of her, I have a couple peripheral friends but none that I could reliably call up to get drinks and just listen to me. Most of my friends are guys – like I have a rotation of 4-5 guys I regularly go out/have dinner with and who listen to me and I’m there for them far more reliably and openly than my female friends.
I’ve tried to meet some women my age in church but me being single in my mid-30s means all of them are married with children and just do.not.get.it. That’s why I like DW, actually. It really is frustrating.
I’m sorry you’re going through that with your best friend – that would be super frustrating and feel like abandonment. I’m feeling that way with my sister right now, too. What it does is it makes me try to intentionally be a better friend, check in on people, make space for them, and really listen. I try, anyway.
@Copa, no she’s actually been single for about three years.
@LadyE I had been thinking about posting about it too! My best Friends are guys too. One of them is incredibly supportive, even stayed up talking to me on the phone one time that I couldn’t sleep, he called me at 2 a.m. and we talked until 5 a.m. He is awesome and cares a lot.
Yeah I feel abandoned by my best friend. She constantly posts about her outings and actually never asks me to come. She has changed a lot this past year.Same here, sometimes my only outlet has been DW. And I feel the same, even if I’m feeling like crap I check in on my friends constantly.
I hope this doesn’t come across too harshly but ladyE how much emotional support are you expecting? You have a friend going through immense personal tragedy and you’re leaning on her in the middle of all that for a 6 week relationship?
Mate maybe your friends are just trying to give you some perspective. Dating sucks at times it really does and I get that but honestly you’re asking a lot of people to work you through this. Everyone only has so much time and sympathy to give. Again, not trying to be mean but you are sinking SO much of your emotional resources into this I can see why people might be pulling away.
Date #3 is Saturday night! No clue what we’re doing yet — he’s planned the last two so I said I’d do the planning this time, and so far I have nothing.
