DW Community Catch-up Thread
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Copa, I know exactly what you mean about guys wanting to date younger.
When I was on dating sites, after I turned 30 I felt like “Fuck, I’m too old for anybody to want me.”
I would look at profiles of guys who were older than me… let’s say between 31-36…. and in the “looking for” section, ALL of them were looking for women 18-26, or best case 21-29. 29 seemed like this magical cut off for all these men, after that women were considered too old.
Even my friend said that to me. He was 34 and he went on two or three dates with a woman who was 35. He said he liked her but wasn’t going to see her again. I asked him why? He said “She’s too old.”
It really made me feel like shit!
So, some context: about a year and a half ago, he and I matched on Bumble. (He swiped right on me. My friend was using my account at the time, and she was the one to right swipe him.) He and I got together for lunch not long after because we hand’t hung out since I moved to this city, during which time he told me pretty bluntly he was still hung up on his ex. He’d been dating her for a couple years, used Tinder to meet up with an 18-year-old who was still in high school, came clean to his then-girlfriend, and got dumped — so I was like, “Yep, not touching that baggage with a 10-foot pole.” He has since exclusively dated women who are college-aged.
So, I dunno. I did very consciously make a decision to not even try to get involved with him last year, but yeah, I guess I’ve always thought if he got his shit together, maybe we’d be a good match. I have a ton of fun with him when we hang out, he’s handsome, hilarious, super smart, educated, has a good job, etc. We were bar hopping and drunk and played Truth or Dare with our Lyft driver, who asked him if he’d ever wanted to kiss me during our friendship. And the answer was yes. Gah.
But, he’s into college women. The relationship he was in this past year that just ended? She was 20. I met her and liked her. But I do feel a little icked that he truly seems to ONLY date the youngins. (My former co-worker is a year out of college, and from what I’ve seen, she is on the older end of his dating range. I kinda wanna warn her but also feel it’s not my place.)
I’m not what I consider a jealous person even though I’ve had my moments of jealousy, so I was surprised by how I felt.
I don’t believe all guys are dating younger women. I also don’t think or feel I’m too old to meet someone. I know plenty of people who didn’t meet their partners until they were in their 30s. I don’t get down on myself for my age. I’ve met plenty of nice guys who are older and younger than me who have been happy to go on dates with me. There was just something about THIS guy.
@Copa – my boyfriend and I were JUST talking about this Sunday evening with a younger female friend. Guys who date the younger girls (we determined under 25ish) don’t know the games guys play or don’t understand that women really have all the power when it comes to dating. So, until that guy decides he’s done playing those games with women they won’t go for the more age appropriate women. Until then, he’ll keep going for the young’ns that he can get with easily and not invest too much into. And we’d all love to think of our guy friends as not being that way (not all are) but most go through something like this at some point in their lives.
So I got married Sunday! Now we’re on our way to Portugal! I’ll see everyone in a week. When I get back, maybe I’ll ask Wendy to post a pic. Or make a finsta a la Kate. Woohoo!
Congrats, ktfran! Have fun in portugal! (We honeymooned there, too, and really loved the little beach town not too from fro mLisbon called Cascais.
@TheHizzy I wouldn’t think much of it if he weren’t exclusively dating women so young. He told me his sister gives him a hard time about it, and I told him that I could understand why someone might question the power dynamics of a man hitting his mid-30s with women who are 18+ but, y’know, not adults in the same way yet (if that makes sense).
@ktfran Congrats! Not to be a huge creep, but I saw some photos pop up on my Facebook newsfeed and you both looked great! Looks like you had wonderful weather, too! Enjoy the honeymoon!
Your photos looked great! So happy for you KTFRAN! have a great time in Portugal. love it there!
Congratulations!!! I can put stuff up on my DW finsta, like a story even, that will last for 24 hours, if you want. I would just need you to send either your email address or the pics to Wendy. I actually do not know who you are IRL!
@copa my brother was a serial dater of the younger. He was always with women who were like 19-22 when he was 25-28. Dad had to tell him to “stop dating girls and find yourself a woman.” He’s now married to a wonderful woman and about to become a Dad himself. It took a parent to shape him up. And it was almost like over night it seemed. Love my SIL…she’s a great fit for my brother.
