DW Community Catch-up Thread
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I honestly really enjoy travelling alone! I get to do what I want when I want, and no need to arrange a schedule with another person. I think you will enjoy your vacation @Ale! Start planning all the fun things you can do on it to get hyped up. You will probably meet some like minded people on the trip 🙂
I am doing my Hawaii trip alone, and am SO pumped! I have been thinking off an on about all the cool stuff I can do, and having the freedom to do them. So don’t worry 🙂
@TheLadyE I really like stand up comedy and am super curious now what yours is like! Any chance you have those recordings or any video material out on the interwebs?!
@Cleo Aww, thanks! Not yet, but hopefully soon. I haven’t even done my first open mic yet but once I get some under my belt I will film them and share! I’ve been wanting to do this (and writing) for more than a decade and it’s time. 🙂
I know life is lonely sometimes but this year I’ve felt the loneliest ever, sometimes even during my relationship. I have had suicidal thoughts, I know how I would commit suicide if I ever did, all of that. Those thoughts ended when I broke up but have recently resurfaced.
I did have a therapist but he became insanely expensive, I can’t afford him now and honestly, he wasn’t that much help anyways.
Sometimes I reach out to friends but they are almost all busy most of the time. I don’t feel like I have a secure circle of friends.
I’m not going to lie, and obviously this is all linked to seeing my ex super happy all pver the place. I even found out that his best friend (woman, married) gave him a trip to Cancun for his upcoming birthday. No one would ever do such a thing for me. And I am a good person.
That is why I hate comparisons. Because I compare myself to what other people have and end up feeling like shit.
Changing jobs is a MUST but nothing good has come up yet.
And I do think it is about changing my narrative. I need to change the way I view things that is why I’ve only allowed myself to be sad today and starting tomorrow I will start to try and think of all the things I have instead of the ones I don’t.@Ale, I feel for you so much. I’ve been where you are. I’ve had some health issues lately and was severely depressed for several months last year and early this year, including passive suicidal ideation like you describe (+ severe anxiety + panic attacks). It’s so difficult not to compare yourself to others when you’re going through dark times like that, and it does seem like everyone is off living their best lives while you’re suffering. (Spoiler alert: they’re not)
I also felt like most of my friends scattered like cockroaches as soon as I really, really needed them. The good friends, though, actually did show up once I was finally honest with them about how severe my depression was, which admittedly took me a while as I’m very prideful and hate asking for help. I did lose some friends, including having a falling out with one of my best friends, but now that I’m mostly healthy again, I realize I’m better off without them. I’ve also strengthened my relationships with the good friends and even made some new friends with whom I’m more compatible.
When you’ve reached out to your friends, were you honest about exactly what’s going on and that this is, you know, more than just complaining about a breakup? Other than that, definitely keep looking for a therapist you like and can afford and also probably a psychiatrist. My therapist has been a godsend, for real. Also, know that you are NOT alone in feeling like you do. I know it’s tough, but so are you, and you can get through this!
Have a blast Dre!
Well….I had an MRI and found out I have a herniated disk in my lower back. Yay!!!! Explains 10 years of back pain and how to treat it going on.
HAPPY FREAKING FRIDAY GUYS!
@Ale, I am so sorry to hear you’re feeling lonely. Giving you big hugs. While I think this is more serious and doing just trivial things won’t fix it, sometimes when I’m down I just think of a “treat yourself” moment a la Parks and Rec. Do things for you. I’ve never known “not lonely” “in a relationship” but it’s really pleasant spending time in a park with a good coffee and reading. And truly, you do not know what your ex is going through even if he’s putting on a happy face. And it doesn’t matter anyway. From what you’ve told us, he is a major asshole.
@TheLadyE, that is amazing!! I too would love to see your work when it’s available.Have fun @Dre!
@TheHizzy, that sounds painful but yay?! Haha.Ok the guy has planned second date really well and now I’m a little nervous. I kind of find second dates harder than first dates, because I generally have low expectations for the latter whereas there’s now more on the line for the second? It’s possible I won’t like him as much or vice versa. Anyway we’re going hiking in the afternoon followed by a local ribfest. Which also, ha, omg, how to be ladylike and eat ribs. I’m totally kidding (but kind of not).
Hmm. So here’s an odd dilemma. I’ve been friends with a guy since college, and he and an old co-worker of mine matched on Bumble and went on a date. Sounds like they had a great time. I just spent the day day-drinking with him and hearing his take on it. And I’m jealous. And I’m not sure if it’s because I always thought I had a chance with him (I have, but we’ve historically NOT been single at the same time, and the last time we were — last summer — I thought he had some serious shit from his last relationship to sort out… learned tonight he’s *super* recently out of 1+ year relationship), OR if I’m being weird because he’s 33 and she’s 23 and there’s that part of me that’s started to feel like men my age are going for women who are significantly younger and I can’t compete (he pretty much exclusively dates women in that age range). I think I’m being ridiculous and I’m also fairly drunk. Heh.
If you guys were really a good match one of you would have pursued something while you were single. I think that with opposite gender friends there can be a… sense of comfort from knowing that they are out there and available but it isn’t the same as actual romantic compatibility.
I don’t know that guys are always dating younger. This year I’ve actually dated several younger guys myself. Also a longtime guy friend of mine is 28 and dating a 34 year old (my age). I wouldn’t worry about that part of it too much.
Also, just because they’re excited about each other doesn’t mean it’ll be perfect. It sounds like he may have some stuff to work out and that will all come out eventually. I do understand the disappointment though.
