DW Community Catch-up Thread
- This topic has 11,820 replies, 97 voices, and was last updated 1 month ago by
.
-
Posts
-
My parents have only met two of the guys I have dated. I try to keep my dating life private so that they don’t need to be exposed to all the dates and men I have gone out with 😛
When I was living at home in 2015/2016 after graduating, I dated a bit and my dad got all worried about me and how many dates I was going on. Mind you it wasn’t anything too crazy, but further enforced that I don’t want them exposed to that part of my life.
My mom has asked me a few times lately if I am seeing someone. Although I am, I want to wait till it is more serious before telling her. Some of my friends know I am seeing someone, but bare bone details. My BFF is the only one who knows the most details.
My parents never pressured me either which doesn’t happen often in this country (very catholic and traditional). I went to an all girls school ran by catholic nuns my whole life. Then College. Had two serious boyfriends and a few flings. Currently in the “nobody will ever love me” phase combined with hating men and all couples.
@hfantods I wouldn’t worry too much about being 28 with limited romantic experience. I think it’s more common than people realize, tbh. One of my good friends was 28 and had never really dated. She’d been on a handful of uneventful first, and sometimes second, dates with about three guys she’d met online, none of whom were interested enough to move past that. I think that feeling of “omg, I’m 28 and have no romantic experience” kinda messed with her. When she met the fourth guy, she wasn’t into him. Like, at all. She kept going out with him because HE was into HER. I thought it was kinda weird, and wonder just how much low self-esteem has to do with that relationship. I’ve had guys I wasn’t interested in at all grow on me over time, but have never done such a quick 180. In any case, those two are proof that when someone likes you, he won’t care if you’re not super experienced. But, hopefully you won’t let it get inside your head and make you think that you need to keep going out with a guy you’re not really into because he’s the first one to show interest and you’re worried he’s going to be the last.
I’ve just been feeling really lonely lately. Not for the lack of a partner but in general. My friends are nowhere to be seen and I feel like I have no one to rely on. I feel like crying all the time. Luckily I work only with men and they never notice teary eyes. And also, my birthday is coming up and I had planned since the beginning of the year to spend it with my ex. I wanted to make a trip. But none of my friends can go and I’ve never traveled alone.
Anyways. this has been a shitty year from the start and I expect things to just get shittier-
@Ale I’m sorry you’re having a tough time. I went on a solo vacation after a breakup and it was actually really nice. I just kept myself really busy and ate and drank all the things.
I have a birthday coming up too and I’m taking off work and pampering myself (massage. pedicure, winery) that day because I don’t want to spend it at a job I dislike so much. Can you do something like that?
@Ale I’m so sorry you’re having a tough time. I would be happy to reach out offline and email or text/call if you’d like someone to talk to! I am really good at listening and I know what it feels like to not have people around.
Kate connected me and @thehizzy a couple days ago via email – Kate, could you do something like that for me and @Ale if she’d like?
I’m so sorry, Ale. For what it’s worth, I vote for planning a solo vacation. I went on one after a breakup and even though it seemed daunting (I’d never traveled alone before), I had a fantastic time. I met new and interesting people and didn’t have to take anyone else’s wants and needs into consideration.
Guys, life is lonely sometimes. It helps if you change the narrative in your head and realize it’s ok.
This is going to sound super Pollyanna-rainbows-and-sunshine but I will say I am doing infinitely better this week than I was previously, mainly because I made a decision that I was going to channel the deep sadness I’ve been feeling into doing something I’ve wanted to do for years: stand-up comedy. Over the weekend I went to a show, connected with a woman my age who hosts and produces open mic nights for female comedians, and since then I’ve written four bits (and recorded one!) so far. It’s like it’s just falling out of me. Now, I’m still sad, and I still miss my ex (whether or not some people think I should, I still do), and I still wish we hadn’t broken up, but now when I get started through the day I’m thinking about what I’m writing rather than how sad I am. I have plans to do at least 2 open mics for the next 3 months and my goal for my birthday party (in early December) is to be confident enough to invite my friends out to an open mic to celebrate. I’ve even talked to the woman who produces shows and we’re going to reach out to my favorite brewery in town to see if they’ll let us do shows there. AND she’s looking for a job and is going to apply at my company, so if she gets hired I’ll get a bonus. I know I’ve talked about not having a lot of female friends but I’ve already gotten into the comedy community and everyone seems super supportive. It is such a world of difference to have something to focus on and pour my energy into, and I’m us
*using experiences with my ex to fuel my writing. So…I’m really excited for the next 3 months even though I am still sad about the breakup and think it was stupid. 🙂
Yes I agree with @kate life gets lonely sometimes. I would stay in an extra day and just kind of wallow in it and then that was it. Only one cheering myself up is me. I also learned those lonely days were so strongly tied to my cycle. Once I figured out my own scheduling I was able to better manage.
