DW Community Catch-up Thread
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Have fun on your trip dre! Good luck!
Ver – yay to date 4!
Copa, anything coming up after the Axe throwing date?
It’s amazing how quickly we can sum our worth up in if we are with someone or not. For years I was single and I was fine with it. It wasn’t until I was approaching 30 that I started to wonder some. I didn’t give it too much thought. After I met my boyfriend and started dating since it wasn’t a typical romance we got a lot of flack for it. “He’s too old; He has kids; He lives far away; He doesn’t have an education; He is a different race.” All things we had to combat but everyone was ignoring how HAPPY I was. For the first time in years I was HAPPY in a relationship. It still kind of boils my blood to think about.
That being said, I didn’t feel the need to put my worth on a relationship until I was hitting 30. It’s like a magic number. I also figured I’d meet someone in college (I didn’t) and get married before 27 (I didn’t) and have kids (I won’t) before 30.
Dating is tough. Everyone keep your head up. You’re beautiful, and worth the wait for that partner.“That being said, I didn’t feel the need to put my worth on a relationship until I was hitting 30. It’s like a magic number. I also figured I’d meet someone in college (I didn’t) and get married before 27 (I didn’t) and have kids (I won’t) before 30.”
That’s me in a nut shell lol. I’m also feeling some pressure from my mom. She keeps asking me if I think my boyfriend is “the one” and I keep telling her to quit bugging me.
@TheHizzy my bf is a different race too. Has it been much of an issue for you?I was actually the exact opposite as you guys! Once I hit IDK, maybe 31/32… I stopped basing my worth on relationship status, job status, house status, whatever kind of status. I was like fuck it. I’ll live my life and be happy and things will happen for me when they happen. And they have! Taking pressure off yourself really, truly helps.
At one time, friends were trying to convince me to join dating sites/apps and pestering me about it and I just didn’t want to date. I was ok with life. So…
If people give you shit about it, tell them to fuck off.
My family has never pressured me. My parents’ marriage is pretty messed up, and while we seldom talk about my romantic life (or my sister’s), I think my parents are probably happy that neither of my serious exes proposed. (I would’ve said yes, without really understanding what a big deal marriage is. I feel like I understand just how huge it really is now that I’ve had those experiences.) And I think they’re probably happy that I’m now old enough and have a strong enough sense of self to know that any decisions I may make in the future will be well thought-out.
My freshman year of college, my roommate wanted to be engaged by her senior year and married the summer after graduation. And she was convinced she was going to marry one of the two guys she’d been on/off with throughout high school. I thought this was absurd at 18. I remember telling her there were SO MANY men out there, and didn’t understand her rush to settle down. (Unsurprisingly, she married neither. She did marry young, though, but maybe two years behind her 18-year-old-self’s ideal timeline.)
I didn’t go to college thinking I’d meet anyone. I really thought that would come later. I dated one guy for a long time in my early 20s. We broke up when I was 25. Then another guy when I was 26. We broke up when I was just shy of 28. I was crushed, but it didn’t occur to me until I was 29-30 just how hard it would be to meet the next guy. Because here I am at 31 and haven’t dated anyone longer than six months since my ex! But, lately, I’m truly fine with it. The worry comes in waves for me.
@ktfran Nothing planned yet! He’s going to visit his family in another state for the long weekend, and leaves today. We’re texting pretty much daily now (before it was every handful of days and to plan logistics). He lives in the burbs, and so far we’ve been spending time together on weekends — if we go out again, which I think/hope we will, I think it’ll be in two weekends.@MissDre I didn’t think it was but it’s more of a thing than I realized. My parents are pretty old school and from a 95% white town so diversity isn’t in their background. They haven’t said anything to me directly but it took some extra time and interaction between my parents and him for my parents to see he’s a great guy. My friends were all cool with it, cousins were, brother was, sister in law was. But we’re a younger generation. I had some family tell him they “know how to speak his language” to his face. Sigh. They meant well but we both were like ooooooooooh dear…”
We live in a very white part of south central and I worry about him in the neighborhood sometimes. His race is normally in a different part of town and about 10% of his type are in our zip code. He’s been profiled once, but he said he’s used to it so he knows how to handle it. Once he gets his license changed over I’ll worry less I think.
Wow, I really need to bookmark or save some of these posts for if and when I get into a serious enough relationship. I’m just working on a second date with this guy! If we go on a second date then maybe he’ll get a name, haha.
I just turned 28 and I don’t feel urgency and my parents or mom is really chill about us marrying thankfully. But I also haven’t been in a serious relationship and I realize that becomes a red flag as one gets older… like 28. It’s just never happened. So I don’t want to be 30 with no romantic experience, a bit more of an extreme and not what you’re talking about either. I don’t want to think I have time and then suddenly I don’t?
So with this current guy of one date, I thought it went well enough. During the date he said he enjoyed it twice and said we should do this again, to which I said yes but I might have been more like “yeah” since maybe he didn’t mean it. I was expecting a text from him which never came, so Sunday at 8 pm I sent him a short text saying I had a nice time, hope he had a good rest of the weekend. I didn’t plan a second date like I’d done before. He replied soon after and eventually asked me out. So I guess it’s good he asked me out and took a cue, but argh does it all come down to does one text after a date which has been hashed out before.
I was single so long my parents at one point asked me if I was gay. For realz. I just didn’t tell them about the losers I went out on ones-twosies dates with.
On turning 30: I was actually single from ages 21-28. I’ve had 3/4 of my longer term relationships (several months-a year) since right before I turned 29. Half of them were in my 30s. I think I’m a late bloomer, but I really feel like I’m just coming into my own at this [late] stage in the game, heh.
I should say: if I don’t have biological children I won’t be crushed, so while I really do want a life partner, I don’t feel the pull of a biological clock as much as someone who does want children might.
