*and

So this thread is a little quiet, because it seems that some of you are going on awesome dates, which I LOVE! I’m so happy how things change over a month and a half.

I did just want to give a quick update since I can’t be this neurotic with my gal pals. Went on a fourth date with Tinder Finance Guy to the Canadian National Exhibition which I think is similar to a state fair from what I hear about state fairs? We had a lot of fun, played games, watched a dog show, walked around, etc.

Then over some greasy food, he brought up that we’d been on four dates now and we should know whether we were interested in each other or not and he didn’t want either of us to waste time if we weren’t interested. He said he liked me but he couldn’t tell whether I liked him. He said I could think about it and let him know, but I told him then that I liked him and was interested in spending more time with him, but I can be more reserved. And I also told him that with school/work, I’ve gone on dates but haven’t had a boyfriend so this is new to me. So I guess we are really going to try this out!

He texted me just now about getting home safe etc. and he said sorry for not kissing me yet but it’s hard to find the right moment at public festivals, which true… I’m so glad he texted me because I was kind of expecting it by now, and was worried something was wrong with me, but it’s all ok! Except, um, guys? I’m 26 and I’ve never kissed someone before, like not even at a party or anything. Sooo, umm, help? Haha. And also just how to show more interest?

Ag, good questions @Kate and probably ones I’m not ready to answer which kind of means I probably went too quickly somewhere. Yes, it is nice that he’s showing interest, which is probably clouding my judgment a bit. I am naturally pessimistic, and I just want to be happy so it’s nice to be liked. So far I like him in that he’s considerate, fit, had a pretty interesting high school life (into indie music, played drum, did skateboarding) despite east Asian upbringing, we have similar cultural backgrounds, and it… would just be so easy. I mean the parts that I’m still am not sure about him is hard to pinpoint. He’s a bit too enthusiastic/eager, which I alluded to him before? Is that such a bad thing?

So having said all that, I don’t even know what I agreed to now. “Exclusive” was never tossed around, but he said he’d stop using Tinder and I said I would too and take down my online dating profiles. So, crap, I don’t know if we are actually “exclusive” now. I mean after we met, I continued to look around and stuff and went out with another guy, but nobody else really caught my eye so it was, at least on my part, exclusive by default.

I’d be careful here, because it sounds like he’s moved a bit too quickly to exclusivity, before you’ve even kissed or really know that you like each other. That may indicate he’s feeling a little desperate or is looking to lock you in for sex. Just really pay attention to how you feel when you’re with him and don’t agree to anything you’re not really into.

Kate makes good points. It sounds like for some of the things he’s said, your response has been sort of a “me too.” If that’s how you feel, then great! But if it’s a little different for you — like you enjoy spending time with him but aren’t sure yet — then it’s OK to say that. When I first was getting experience with guys, I felt like they knew how things are supposed to work, so I just sort of went with the flow, without checking in with myself as much. But it’s not a science — it’s just two people deciding how they feel and what they want to do.