DW Community Catch-up Thread
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@Copa my city has a population of probably around 1 Million. Not sure how many people are actually on Tinder though, cuz I’d usually run out of people to swipe after 3 days.
When I was using Tinder I had so many levels of screening before they got my number.
First message on Tinder for a while, and if he seemed cool I’d give him my Whatsapp information or KIK. By then I know I’m probably going out with him. Then we’d meet in person and if I wanted to see him again I’d give him my number.Result – like 4 guys ever got my number. KIK has been deleted so not outstanding “you up?” messages.
@MissDre That’s interesting. I think my city hovers around 3 million? I’ve luckily never had any real safety issues using dating sites or apps, even when I had my work info on there. I’ve found it difficult to find most of my dates on Facebook without more information than what’s on Tinder, and I’m someone who is pretty good at creepin’ on social media when I need to. My path is ALWAYS LinkedIn first, then Facebook. I’m glad to be able to find people online before we meet because it helps me feel safer meeting them to know at a most basic level they’re holding themselves out as who they really are. I know there are some freaky weirdos out there, but would like to think most people are sane enough that they won’t use anything they find out about me on social media to, IDK, show up at my office or anything totally cooky.
I have been contacted twice outside of my Old tinder profile. I had my Instagram account attached to it so people could see some of the stuff I was into. It only happened twice in like 2 days while I was out of town for a workshop. I got one message, very simple. So ignored it. Then got another the next day and finally reaponded to this person, cause it seemed to coincidental that I had this happen. He then told me he saw my Tinder profile and decided to message me through Insta instead. Basically a sneak attack that would be more likely to garner a reaction and or message back. Cause ya know Insta isn’t the same platform as Tinder *groan* regardless I turned it down.
Yeah, honestly, it’s super weird and a little creepy for people to contact you outside of the actual dating platform. At least with the guy who messaged me, my suspicion is that he doesn’t get as many matches as he’d ideally like and he may think he can get noticed more or have higher odds of getting a date if he uses another platform that doesn’t require showing mutual interest before he can “sell” himself. He did indeed stand out to me, but not in a positive way.
Occasionally on Meetup I’ll get messages from people trying to get a date and it’s like, NO, go out in the world and interact with people with whom you share interests and maaaaybe someone will pique your interest there — that’s why Meetup exists!
Engaged or Married folk – do you still find yourself staring at your ring from time to time in awe of it’s beauty? I’m working at a different location today with better lighting and I’m distracted.
The Hizzy, I’ve been married 11 years and still stare at my ring from time to time. The lighting is especially nice in my sanctuary at church. Wait until after you get it cleaned for the first time. 🙂
I usually went copa’s route of LinkedIn then Facebook. It’s only a light scan to make sure they exist. I am pretty Googleable by first name, occupations and city which I don’t love but what can you do. My Facebook (public and private) profile is very boring and locked down. I could change my name on that but haven’t felt like it either.
Messaging in other social media platforms is a bit weird and creepy. I like to keep the pretence that you haven’t googled the person.
On a somewhat similar train, how/when do you exchange last names with your online dates? One guy just asked on date 4. My guy asked on date 3. We were in a woodworking store which had some business card holders. He joked I could put my card there and in a “Ted Mosby, architect” voice said “[first name]–what’s your last name? (I gave it to him)–[last name] [occupation]”. I thought that was pretty smooth, haha, but I suspect he may have googled me before and caught himself. I sure googled him but asked him to confirm.
The last name exchange has been all over the place for me. I don’t know that I’ve ever asked. I’ve had a few guys volunteer their last names before we’d even met. A couple, their last names have come up in regards to restaurant reservations. One guy, he sent me a photo of his race results (before we’d met) and it had his bib number on it, sooo I looked him up! TBH, I feel like I normally figure it out before it’s volunteered, which I don’t advertise, but if asked directly would be probably be candid and admit to looking them up. I’ve had a couple guys ask and I’m direct about it. My name is so generic it’d actually make a good fake name 😉
@TheHizzy I feel impatient now that I finally decided for sure that I am moving and we have a timeline. He is the one who brought up the marriage timeline and I completely agreed with his suggestion, but I did tell him it’s important to me that we’re engaged before I quit my job and move across the ocean.
But now that we’ve had that conversation and we have our timeline, I’m just excited and feeling like ahhhhhh I’m ready now!
