DW Community Catch-up Thread
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I went on a date with someone from match tonight. I wasn’t terribly sure about the chemistry on my side but we had a lot in common and conversation flowed. And then he said it…he’s a Trump supporter. Ugh. Kinda wish he’d put that on his profile to begin with; would have saved us both some time.
I’m having coffee with someone from Bumble tomorrow. First time I’ve actually met someone in person from that app. Ive had the same “conversation just peters out cause it seems like they don’t make an effort” experience everyone else has with Bumble in the week I’ve had it installed. Been considering just deleting that one. Right now I’m only on those two apps. Not sure which one to try if I dump Bumble.
@Copa, bumble is the one where the women do all the initial messaging, right? Is is possible that that dynamic just leads to a situation where you’re reaching out to men who aren’t that interested/are just being polite?
From my years of dating and using POF, OKcupid, Tinder (hookups tho!), and Bumble, they are all the same. I have never heard of friends or otherwise who have had that unique situation where quality men and responses come in. At the end of the day you have to make the app or website work for you, not the other way around. The websites may be different, but when the same types of people and even the same people use it, the results become the same. Perseverance and creativity help to work your way through the throngs of men and dating sites.
Today I had coffee with the guy from Bumble. Was supposed to be a 30 minute deal, ended up being 3 hours. The time just flew by. We work in similar industries – both IT geeks but different types – so he gets my weird sense of humor when I make programming jokes. Even if nothing else happens I’m happy to have met someone I could see relaxing and chatting with after work. A good way to end an off week.
I had a first date last night. It was fine. I’ll go out with him again if he asks, but I also wouldn’t be crushed if he doesn’t. He hugged me at the end of the date, didn’t attempt a kiss. Then I went home and dreamed that he had kissed me at the end of the date but was a truly horrible kisser, kind of like he was trying to put my lips into his mouth or something weird.
So, I’m supposed to get together with a guy I’ve been talking to on Bumble. Date/time still TBD because of his work schedule, but we were texting last night and I’m liking him a little less. We were texting about how we spend our free time and I told him I like being active/exercising, and go to my gym like 3-5 times/week. He asked if I’m okay dating someone who isn’t in peak physical condition. (Obviously, yes, that is something I’m more okay with) And then he made some weird comment about how he thought I seemed really fit in my pics, and how I’d be the fittest girl he’s dated — if we get there. And then made a comment about how fit is sexy. And I haaaate when dudes on online apps say anything along the lines of “Hey gorgeous” — anything related to my looks *when we haven’t even met* is really weird to me. So yep. A little less enthused to meet him but I’m not sure if any of these things warrant canceling. He otherwise seems like a nice, normal dude. In any case, I’m backing off the text conversation until we meet.
@Fyodor It’s possible, but I don’t know how many people bother to respond to anything when they’re just not interested. I’ve had plenty of guys ignore my initial message, and that seems more in line with what I’d expect from someone who isn’t interested.I think that texting sounds awkward and kinda weird, Copa, but I probably wouldn’t cancel just based on that. I feel like it’s best to wait to have this kind of chitchat in person so you can get a real vibe from them and see if there’s actually any attraction.
@Copa I feel you. When I was dating and I mentioned I enjoyed working out, some guys would immediately ask if I had a six pack, and if I didn’t why didn’t I?
I would usually end communication right then. It was just a big turn off, I feel ya.
Copa – that texting is a bit weird but maybe he’s just nervous and making conversation? See how the date goes and how he interacts.
And for what it’s worth, I met MoV on Bumble. He’s not good at initiating so it was sort of the perfect app for him to meet women if the women have to initiate the conversation.
I think he was just putting his foot in his mouth. He doesn’t otherwise give me creepy vibes (he actually seems pretty nice and I’ve so far enjoyed texting him) so I’m not writing him off yet, but yeah, it was weird and I’m only going to text him now to finalize plans. Had that been his opener, I would’ve noped on out of that one. I told him pretty bluntly last night that I don’t like that kind of talk before meeting someone (he may not even like me!) and he was apologetic and it was awkward. Ha.
Anyway, I do have a friend who, when she was online dating, really liked the “hey, beautiful” messages. I think it validated her. Not to sound conceited, but I think I’m pretty — I’m not, like, a model and there are things about myself that I’d change, but I’m on the conventionally attractive side and I don’t need empty compliments from randos. Cuz ew.
And, I know I’m just stereotyping again, but I am guessing this guy is nerdy and not, like, a playa with slick moves or lines. I know he could still be a weirdo, but I get a nervous/unsure vibe from him — not creeper.
