DW Community Catch-up Thread
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I’ll chime in on the traveling – I didn’t leave the country till I was 20 and didn’t do it again until I was 31. I’ve only been outside the US those two times. Not for lack of wanting to – just lack of funds.
I would love to do more travel, and I was told I would be doing more with this job but it hasn’t really happened yet. So the man and I have a “virtual jar” we are saving money in for a trip to Greece. Though, there’s something to be said for exploring your own country and I’d love to hit all 50 states some day.
OK so just to defend my ex a little, he wanted to go to Panera because he liked it a lot and used to work there, and it was close to where he worked/I lived and he had limited time. Like I said, the biggest red flag in that situation was that all he could scrape out was 2 hours on a Tuesday to give me for the following week, which is what eventually ended our relationship.
He also, yes, made about half of what I did. He told me he didn’t eat out unless it was with me on our dates. I really didn’t care. He was always very equitable with money – splitting things down the middle and covering even more than his share if he could even though he made less. He was going back to school for a better degree/career path. He also didn’t drink (for health reasons) which I knew so I wasn’t really bothered by not being able to get a drink on the first date.
Thank you, @saneinca. I really appreciate your words. I have and will continue to be very careful. Plus, I’m very well connected and in a relatively niche position in my field where my reputation is very strong and it’s very hard to find good talent for my role, and my area of the country is exploding with job growth. If I had to, I’m confident I could find another job without too much trouble. I have spent years building my career and consider myself pretty mature. 🙂 My current company is indeed a large tech company and it might be tough but it wouldn’t be the end of the world.
For me it’s not a “cheap” thing. I’ve dated guys who make half what I make, and it’s not an issue. The specific choice of Panera is the issue. There are coffee shops. There are inexpensive neighborhood restaurants. Places with lower lighting and a social vibe. The insistence on Panera, along with having no time free, show a level of cluelessness and unconcern for others.
In my case, it’s not negativity. I wish ladye the best. But I think people can benefit from opinions and experiences. I think that’s the purpose of a forum. I am aware that, due to my own experience, telling people to never date a coworker would be like telling them the sky is blue. LOTS of people told me that and I went and did it anyways. If its a match and seems ok, why not? However, listening to people’s experiences makes you take some cues, like having a plan B. That would be my advice LadyE (not that you’re asking though). Have a plan B in case everything fails. And that goes for every relationship I guess.
My mistake was never taking into consideration that we could break up.Speaking about trips… IM GOING TO EUROPE FOR THE FIRST TIME NEXT WEEK.
And I’m going with my best friend, so I’m super excited.
Also with a couple other friends we just booked the Inka trail for next year.
Lots of things coming up that keep me excited.
Yeah, well, I can’t really argue with the outcome.
I dated a guy earlier last year (2017) who wanted to have what would end up being our breakup conversation at Which Wich. I refused to meet him there and insisted on *at least* Noodles & Company. So I got dumped at a table at Noodles & Company. Not sure if that or Panera was worse.
But your point stands, because my ex really could not prioritize me in his life and from what I can tell hasn’t even tried dating since. He was single for 6 years before he met me, too. (Neither has the Noodles & Company guy, for what it’s worth – he & I ended up staying friends and I am pretty much the only person he does social things with outside of his church.)
If I were going to pick the restaurant I’d get dumped at, I’d be okay with Which Wich because I wouldn’t want Noodles & Co. ruined for me.
Solid point, but right then I didn’t know I was going to be dumped and I was trying to practice vegetarianism (still am) and the Which Wich menu looked dire. I guess at least I got some good food if I’m gonna be dumped.
This is what I’m saying about sites with a barrier to entry. I met both of these guys (Which Wich guy and my Panera first date/most recent ex) on OKCupid and they didn’t have to really think about if they were ready for a relationship enough to spend money on a site. I think if they had had to, it might have weeded at least one of them out. But then I wouldn’t have these great stories, I guess!
I’m with Kate. Just not date environment. I went out with a guy twice. First date he asked if i like Tai food. Told him i really really didn’t. So he took me to Tai food. ?. Second date he took me to Del taco, to order off the dollar menu with a coupon. Then to a buy one get one movie. My husband this wouldn’t offend me. First two dates just wtf. And I love Del Taco!
He must’ve been hot or something. I really cannot recall why I agreed to number 2. So young and stupid I was.
I prefer to be dumped via text so i never has to get dressed and still have my sweat pants on. Then order pizza
Banjo (my partner) and I both work for a tiny company (14 employees) and we haven’t had a problem. He’s only worked there part-time though and we don’t work on any direct projects together. The only issue we’ve had is talking about work too much at home. And especially when things haven’t been well managed lately, we ended up complaining a lot to each other and harping on issues maybe more than we would have if we didn’t both work there. But, Banjo just put in his notice so we only have about a month left at the same company. I eventually want to find a new job too, but wouldn’t look for another one that would put us at the same company. I think we’ll have better work life balance working in different places.
Annnnnd he’s out grabbing us breakfast and once he comes back we are heading to the airport for Greece! Can’t wait for a week of sunshine, swimming and Greek food!
Oh and I’ve lived in Europe for five years and it would be hard to imagine moving back to the states and dating someone who’s never left the country. I just don’t think it’d be a match. I feel so lucky to have met my partner living abroad because even if we stay here, move somewhere else or eventually move back to the states I know we have the same values on travel.
