DW Community Catch-up Thread
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hmmmm tough call. Pardon me if this is wrong, I am VERY tired, but isn’t this a bit of a pattern? Like, you can’t tell if a guy likes you or it takes them a long time to get to it?
So you suggested date 6 and date 7. Actually for date 7 you gave him three options, including dinner at your house, so he knows you’re up for additional activities. He chose the ice cream date for tomorrow.
Based on that, I think a good next move would be to see if he picks up the thread you gave him with the dinner option. He knows it’s on the table. Given that the last two dates were at your suggestion, it makes sense for him to initiate the next one. Especially since you had prompted him a couple of times already about the options and which (or all) of them he’d prefer to do.
You might also want to see what you can do for tomorrow’s date with regard to making it easy for a kiss to happen at the end of the night. Can you park your car in a somewhat secluded area he could walk you to, for example?
Or if there is a date after ice cream, do the dinner or a movie at home. That’ll be a pretty perfect opportunity as an “intimate” date to see if he’s interested or not. It’ll be clear at that point, I think. Or if nothing is happening, I think you can decide to bring it up in conversation or not, if it hasn’t come up already.
@nookie lol yeah, now that you mention it, there probably is a pattern there. Damn my predictability.
@kate part of my master plan is that this ice cream place is ALWAYS packed and closes at 6. I live about a mile away so I thought if it’s packed (it will be) I tell him we can take the ice cream back to my patio if he’d like and he can meet my dogs. If he says no, then we probably have an answer.@booknerd yes, he knows that’s on the table so I want to see what he says toward the end of the date with regards to those options or something else.
Welll… I don’t want to have a pop at you because you seem like such a nice person but perhaps you’re throwing mixed signals at guys as well, maybe not ones you’re aware of. Dan Savage preaches ask your friends, maybe if this pattern repeats you should set up a double date with a friend couple and ask them what they think?
Just an idea, doesn’t help with HamSandwich. Good luck, I hope he comes and meets the pups!!
@nookie no offense taken. I think I DO give off mixed signals too. It’s really hard for me to put myself in vulnerable situations and really hard for me to open myself up so I think I give off a very guarded vibe. I’ve been working on trying to let that down a bit.
And I love that you went with HamSandwich. #personalfave
I’m very guilty of nearly always being the blunt instigator. It’s never blown up in my face too bad. I mean, is it possible to just come out with it if you get to your patio or dinner at home? Or just…try to kiss him?
I kind of want to change the Cockney to the Vegetarian Sausage now. 😀
Well if you’re aware that it might be your signals that lead to some of this confusion, you can only work on your bit right? The other person needs to come along as well. Vulnerability is HARD, I dig it. But you’ve got to greenlight that guy if you’re keen on him, right? Give him clues that he can go for the lean in.
I wonder if part of the mixed signals you’re sending have to do with you, like, not believing a guy could really be into you (self-esteem), so either you set up too much of a friendly dynamic, or subconsciously avoid situations that would facilitate physical intimacy, or otherwise sort of sabotaging yourself by sending signals that you’re not open to romance/intimacy. Like a “who, ME?” type of thing? “no, I’m just your buddy!”
Anything there, you think?
Maybe I can take a shot of tequila and some ativan and just go straight for the tongue down the throat. Thoughts? 😉
Seriously, what’s the harm? If he’s not into it, you don’t have to see him ever again. And if he is, well. Well, well, well.?
oh Kate. yeah. that’s a possibility. I don’t have the highest self esteem at all, though I do think I’ve gotten better over the years. It just seems like when I’m bold and confident sometimes it backfires.
