I don’t think you’re that into him. I think you just kind of want him right now because he backed away.

Anyway, I think Kare’s advice is solid.

Please, in the future, don’t agree to exclusively date someone you don’t know if you’re into and haven’t kissed yet. I’m sorry if I got it mixed up, but I think a while back he asked to not date other people and you agreed? Just say you’d like to get to know him better. And, yeah, if you say you want to “take things slow” after 5 dates in 6 weeks and no kiss, I’m not surprised he thought you meant friends.

Yep, excellent advice from kare. He doesn’t know if you like him “that way” and is pulling back. And if this really is the guy who wanted to be exclusive after one date, well I think that’s a little odd in itself, as Kate mentioned. Finally, I’ll echo kare again in that it’s ok to not be into someone despite their good qualities. If you really like someone, I think you know pretty quickly. The worse thing you can do is force a relationship because you know, he’s a nice guy or he looks good on paper. Trust me. I know this very well. I’m still dealing with emotions and mental effects surrounding the whole calling off the engagement to a perfectly nice guy thing.

It was. I actually didn’t know what kind of effects it had on my pshyche until just recently, and that was eight years ago. Like, I was engaging in relationships with men I knew had zero long-term potential and finally, the therapist called me out on this pattern I was exhibiting. Anyway, I’m figuring things out. And now I’m seeing someone I really like and has long-term potential. Yay! So, he’s met a few of my friends. No hike, but a couple different friends at a couple different outings and I invited him to a big friend outing next Friday, 2nd.

So… I was actually going to write in about him today. Last night was the first time I truly felt a little off about me and him. We went out for a cocktail and oysters then back to his place to sit on the balcony overlooking Lake Michigan and eat dinner. We were chatting per the usual and he mentioned that he wasn’t going to Cleveland with his parents in a few weeks because of work, but instead, that Saturday is going on an all-day outing in Michigan with our co-worker Lisa and probably about 15 other people. They tour wineries and breweries and distilleries. Anyway, he said Lisa and her friend asked if he was bringing me. But then we just kind of let that hang and he didn’t mention it anymore that night, except that he had to paypal this person for the bus. After that, I just got kind of sad and I know my mood changed but I didn’t say anything. Not only do I have a problem discussing feelings, I have a problem asking for things. I’m sure he noticed my mood shift. I guess I was just sad he didn’t actually ask me to go and I have yet to hang out with his friends and he’s continually meeting mine. Not sure if I should say something or not.

Then this morning, I received a text on my way to work from him… this is what it said “You forgot to take a pudding cup this morning. Far fridge, top left shelf, if you are so inclined, there is a delicious pudding cup.”

Of course that made me smile that he brought one into work for me this morning since we joked about it yesterday. I have no doubt in my mind that he likes me a lot. But last night bothered me a little.

He was probably testing to see if you wanted to go. Or maybe he thought that by telling you that he was letting you know that you were invited. If you don’t want to ask him maybe bring the trip up sometime to see if he asks you again.

Yeah I agree with the other two, it seems like he was waiting for a response from you. I would just bring it up. Sound like too fun of a trip to miss.

@ktfran: This could easily have happened to me – I am often shy to explicitly ask for things – but I also get the sense he was implicitly asking you whether you wanted to join him. Otherwise, why would he even mention it? It would be kind weird for him to say “they asked whether you’d come too but I’m not going to invite you along, harhar”. He was likely hoping he wouldn’t have to be more explicit and that you’d take the initiative and invite yourself along.
My read on this is that you’re both kind of shy and this was just a miscommunication.
Also… I’ve often experienced stuff like that when a relationship was getting a little bit more serious. There is an awkward stage where you’re not that comfortable yet but you want to include each other in your respective activities more. If you can work through this phase constructively you’ll probably more comfortable and secure soon.