I feel slightly stupid in that I didn’t react or read the situation correctly at all. Thanks everyone! My friend said to say something along these lines… “So, do you think you might need a chaperone for the beer tour?”

Don’t feel stupid. I’d probably have been waiting for an explicit invitation, too. And then I’d have gone through the mood shift (btw my current bf is the first one who always notices those silent mood shifts and calls me out when they happen, which has helped me to reduce the frequency of them – they don’t make a lot of sense).

Yeah, I think we can all relate to that. Now I know that I’m in a place with the Cockney that I can ask if I’m invited to something he’s doing but often times, I’d rather stay home on my own 😀 I like your way of asking about the chaperon, it’s cute and will let him know that you’re interested.

Give yourself a hand though for recognising what made you feel off right away, and now you can put it right!

The good thing is that it can almost be kind of fun to work on these communication patterns in the context of a healthy relationship. I feel like I’ve become so much more aware of my behavior and have improved a lot in the last 3 years. This is not to deny that I sometimes still fall back into my old patterns (I still sometimes do unexplained mood shifts, for example), but my awareness level is a lot higher.

It sounds like you’re already very aware, @ktfran, and like you have a good thing going with this guy. Remember that if you are right for each other then even a few missteps (not that this is even was a misstep, it’s such a minor communication failure on both sides) along the way won’t prevent you from walking further on this path. You don’t have to be perfect. I’ve screwed up rather badly along the way and it’s still working out well now. If you can be a little bolder with him, then great – it might help him to become a little bolder as well. If not, well it’s likely not going to be a huge problem either, from the way this sounds.

Hi guys! I went on a second date last night! I went over to his place and we ate cheese and smoked salmon and had some wine and talked. Actually, we were talking so much I stopped eating, and by the time I got home afterwards I was extremely hungry! We also um, had the sex. And then talked again for another hour. Overall 5 hour date! We talked a lot about his work and industry (he owns his own company), my work and industry, our area we live in, the places he’s lived (he lived abroad growing up). A bunch of stuff. I guess the only thing that’s possibly worrying me is that I can’t quite tell how interested he is in me. Which maybe sounds silly since we talked so much and he was asking me a lot of questions. It may just be that I don’t know him or his personality yet. That, and he’s not super touchy feely and I am, so I’m not used to that! And, I haven’t gone on a good second date in, well, a couple of years (since my last bf, who had made it pretty clear he was interested in me). I’m trying to not let myself go down that rabbit hole of worry!

I agree that it sounds like he was gauging your interest. Also, I always give people I’m dating an out when making plans. Of course in my experience they don’t take the out and are so excited to do things then stand you up 3 times on your birthday.

My college boyfriend (my first love) gets married this Friday to the girl he cheated on me with. So I’m going to Top Golf with my friends and celebrating the fact I’m not marrying an emotionally abusive, compulsive liar.

And congrats to everyone on getting laid!!! I like that we cover all “speeds” of the physical intimacy spectrum.