DW Community Catch-up Thread
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You guys! Tinder teacher is coming in exactly two weeks and I’m so excited I could burst. Because in the next two weeks I’m selling a house, buying a house, moving, going to Washington DC for work, and trying to unpack and settle in my new home. I NEED SOMETHING CALMING TO LOOK FORWARD TO.
I told him I might bang him in each room of the new house and he seemed agreeable. YAY!!
hfan, I’m glad you made that decision! Sometimes it takes a while to come to the right conclusion… it’s hard not being into someone when they’re into you, especially if the dude is nice. Just remember, if it’s not there, it’s not there. Men do this to women ALL THE TIME. So don’t fret. It’s all good.
YAY VER! Everything sounds wonderful.
September 25, 2015 at 4:46 pm #383927So did my tea date with Police Man. Went okay. Looks the same as the pics he had online, which was a relief! Very friendly and easy to talk to. lots of knowledge on lots of things. We ended up going for a small walk in a trail near us, and at one point I veered us off the path along the water and he took the opportunity to kiss me. Not the greatest kisser. Too wet and kind of a sucking kiss. So….not sure now. Great guy, but after the kiss, and then the 10 year age difference, I am debating. Told him I would let him know if we are to see each other again, as I was honest and said I need to think about it. It seems like such a petty thing! But the I after seeing him I am also very self conscious about the age difference and I am re thinking.
September 25, 2015 at 9:19 pm #383950I have never reformed a bad kisser. I’d give it another try if you are at all into him, but otherwise no way.
Was the age difference noticeable? My husband is 13 years older than me, but we fit eachother so well, I barely ever even think about it. And he looks really young for his age.
September 26, 2015 at 12:33 am #383954So glad ya’ll feel me! It is such a buzz kill. But this has happened to me be before. And in the end it really affects the chemistry. So I am probably going to end it. It is also strictly casual, FWB situation. So not like I am looking to date seriously, plenty of guys out there who may work out better and have interest in a FWB situation.
September 26, 2015 at 2:15 am #383960Hi guys… So, I got rejected. I texted wine and cheese dude as kind of a test, because I haven’t heard from him since our date. I suggested we go for a walk/hike on this trail if he was free this weekend. I got a reply a couple hours later from him, saying that he thought it was fun getting to know me too, and that I’m fun, and cute, and intelligent, and that we get along really well. And that he was thinking the past couple of days about a potential relationship between us and that he didn’t think he was feeling that romantic something.
So.
In hindsight, in the hour or so before I left, I was feeling kind of ill at ease- we were talking, and he kept his arms crossed. Then, I moved over to the sofa, but he stayed across the room with his arms crossed. Then I moved over to a chair to put on my shoes, and then he moved to the sofa, which i had just vacated. So I was like, hey, make some room for me! And he did scoot over. But kept his arms crossed the whole rest of the time next to me. And I felt kind of awkward just sitting there, because I wasn’t sure if he wanted me to leave, or what! I suppose he wasn’t feeling the romantic feelings then, clearly. But it was kind of confusing, since everything else was fun and great.
So, I’m disappointed. But I guess it’s nice he actually replied, because I was really scared he was ghosting me, and I didn’t know why. And I’m not going to reply, because what’s the point. And now? I have absolutely zero prospects. Le sigh.KateSeptember 26, 2015 at 6:43 am #383967Ugh, I’m sorry. That was your gut talking. There IS a jerk brain, or “bitch in your head” that will try to tell you negative things about yourself, which aren’t true and need to be silenced, but then there’s your intuition, which is usually right. You have to be able to distinguish between the two, because they aren’t the same thing. Sometimes your intuition is telling you something valuable and you want to be like “oh no, girl, that’s just your jerkbrain.” Anyway, I think in this case you knew, because the guy was sending you signals and cues. That’s happened to me too, I know the guy isn’t interested but I do the text test anyway, and find out I was right. This sucks, but also helps you know you can trust your instincts.
Regina ChapmanSeptember 26, 2015 at 9:51 am #383972Oooh, Money, that sucks. I agree with Kate, it’s hard to separate between Jerkbrain and Gutmate, but they are definitely two separate entities.
For me, if I go into myself for a minute (like in the bathroom:)) and listen, I can usually tell which one it is. Jerkbrain is a kind of fuzzy, whiny anxiety feeling. When Gutmate is telling me something, there’s a deep feeling of calm underneath. Like ‘this sucks, but you know it’s true’.
Getting to know them both is a really nice thing to do for yourself. So yeah, this totally blows but at least you’ve made progress on that! *hug*
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