Well I only spoke from having time with a growing teen boy and girl. There is a big difference from my experience. He has never been told he doesn’t have to have good hygiene, he just doesn’t care, where as she cared a lot about how she presented herself. Just because we have all these new labels doesn’t mean that men and women are inherently different and do have many characteristics that are considered more female and more male, not every single person but a large amount. I assure you, with two Air Force parents he was expected and still is, to be clean, tidy, etc. He just recently reached an age, as MANY teens do, where he doesn’t do what he is told as easily.
I also think that girls, with the expectation to be pretty and such care more about appearance at a younger age. He could care less if someone thinks he is attractive or not where as the girl cared from a rather young age as her peers were doing that. I remember the time between elementary school and middle school when it changed and she started caring about her appearance. I also remember when she shaved off her eyebrows and drew them on with an actual Sharpie but that’s a whole other Maury.

I guess I am lucky to never experience a bad smelling or messy girl even when I was that age. At worst just piles of clothes from changing from outfit to outfit.

And I have read a ton of articles about boys hormones causing a good amount of smell. He just one day started to smell really bad even with multiple showers and such. Then one day it just passed. We read up about it.

None of this explains 140 chicken nuggets however. I am still cracking up over that.

Agree Wendy. But that count the girl would’ve been into cars and my son would be far more masculine, he’s much more what is considered feminine although frankly that is not the proper word, I just have been up since 3am and really can’t come up with the word I feel best describes it.

I’m not saying girls don’t get gross or anything, just the way it’s spoken about. Like ‘my kids weren’t gross but I had all girls’ that sort of thing. Or that it’s ‘typical’ of teenage boys to leave the room filthy when clearly it’s not, but it’s something we kind of expect around boys and not so much girls. Little things that play out into later. When I was a kid going to family events the men would sit around while the women cleaned up, all these little things through words and actions that we’re not consciously imprinting on kids but they soak up. That’s the only point I’m making.

WWS. My nephew loves trucks. LOVES THEM. He runs around all day pushing his trucks around. My sister and BIL definitely didn’t encourage “boy” type play. They’re both equal rights, feminist, etc. They could care less about gender norms. It’s pretty funny to see this kid be a “boys boy.” 100% innate. Nobody in my fam is overtly masculine or even a little bit alpha. This kid is a dude though.

EDT: My cousin’s kids are super interesting. The oldest, a boy, likes typical boy things but is super sensitive. The middle, a girl, likes typical girl things but can throw down. She’s tough as nails. The youngest, a boy, is extremely feminine in speech, mannerisms and the toys he likes. Everyone is actually really surprised the husband does so well with the little one because he is more “macho.” Thank goodness he doesn’t project that onto his son.

For example, when I chaperone school field trips or I volunteer at school lunch and recess, I get to see 150 kids of the same age and observe their behavior. There is absolutely a difference in the ways boys play and relate to each other and behave and express themselves vs how the girls play and relate to each other, etc. there are exceptions, of course, and there’s a spectrum of behavior traits, but there’s most definitely a feminine end of the spectrum and a masculine end, and at 5, 6, 7 years old, most of the kids are not trying to meet societal expectations of how the should behave; their behavior is much more organic than that. And I promise There’s a different experience between, say, chaperoning a group of 5 7-year-old boys on a field trip vs a group of 5 7-year-old girls, and anyone who has extensive experience with kids, can tell you immediately what the difference is, and it’s not related to kids watching women in their families wash dishes at a holiday get-togethers (that kind of gender messaging shows up in people’s behavior and identity later).