DW Community Catch-up Thread
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the best way to compare it would be that episode of sex and the city where Miranda dates the trainer at the gym and he’s totally into her when she seems insecure but when she owns that she a beautiful powerful woman he thinks she’s full of herself and doesn’t want to see her anymore.
@kate like when I’ve shown you the messages I get when I tell guys what I do and then they say things like “oh, so you must be really smart or really rich?”HamSandwich, admittedly, intimidates me. He’s REALLY smart and impressive to me since I’ve dated some real losers. Though I was teasing him/joking with him one time and said “Would you like the privilege/honor of seeing me this week?” and his response was “Sure!” Maybe his reactions would be totally different?
Veritek… i think you should go in for a kiss at the end of tomorrow’s date. I can almost bet that since the first one was botched, he might be unclear of your intentions.
Like just a goodnight kiss. That’s pretty easy to initiate and would come at an expected time so it wouldn’t catch him off guard and make things weird. Wherever you are when you’re saying goodnight, just stand close to him, lean forward, and go for a kiss on the lips. If you can make it happen before that, great, but don’t force it. And I don’t care if you ARE in a parking lot or something, a goodnight kiss does not have to feel like flagrant PDA for him.
Yes, girl, I’m short too and I date tall guys. I get it. You get on tiptoe a bit and lean in and up.
It’s good to read about people’s generally positive dates. I unfortunately have nothing to add. I just wanted to vent out about a non-date and I don’t want to start up a new thread.
Last week, I went on a short trip to Chicago with my mom for fun, just to see the city. I’ve never Tindered outside where I lived so I was on it to see the dating pool there, out of curiosity, but really not planning on meeting anyone as I was traveling with my mom. I did write that I was in Chicago until Saturday in my profile, sort of as an experiment.
On Wednesday, cute lawyer messages me around 10:30 pm and says that he’s actually going to Toronto, where I live, Thursday. He was actually en route to Buffalo for a wedding, so he was only in Toronto for Thursday night. I figured we both knew at that point there’d be no overlap in our visits, but we would chat for a bit.
Around 11 pm he asked if I had plans to go out that night and the thing was 1) it was 11, I didn’t know the city and was afraid of him looking for “more”; and 2) I was traveling with my mom and didn’t want to let her know. I said that I wasn’t planning on it as I had an “early day” the next day. He asked me what my plans were and if I was traveling with anyone e.g. friends, and then I did tell him I was traveling with my mom. I figured it would kill the conversation, and maybe I did want the conversation to end because I was afraid of being vulnerable. Also I didn’t want him to somehow find out that indeed I was traveling with my mom.
However, we continued chatting throughout the week/weekend while he was in Toronto/Buffalo until it was clear that we missed each other. Somehow he may have forgot I left Chicago on Saturday when he asked on Sunday when I was leaving town. Then that really did end the conversation.
I just wish I did meet up with him Wednesday night for a fun travel story. He was Google-able and I knew he was a real person so it wouldn’t have been that dangerous, I think. I feel guilty for continuing to chat with him when I knew there was no overlap and feel bad for, like, leading him on and wasting his time. I mean I know there may be connotations about Tindering while traveling but I really tried to keep things light and non-committal.
Anyway, I’m back home, treading the dating waters again.
Holy crap, that was long. I probably need to journal. I don’t know why I’m so obsessive about some things.
Good luck veritek tomorrow!!
I say if there’s no kiss at the end of tomorrow’s date, MOA. Eight dates and nothing physical sends alarm bells. Something is off. And what’s the point in trying to figure out what that something is and trying to fix it? No point. I’ve had a couple times in my life when I went out with a guy three or four times and got not so much as a kiss and it was always a sign that we weren’t right for each other. I’m sorry – I know that sucks to hear, but if I were you, I wouldn’t waste any more time on this guy if something doesn’t happen by the end of tomorrow’s date.
Also, I think it sort of says something that of the three date options you gave him, he chose the most g-rated (not to mention the shortest time commitment). I mean, you can get frisky in a dark movie theater. You can definitely get frisky in someone’s home. But a crowded ice cream parlor on a summer evening? Cute, sure, but not very sexy. I’d think my date 8 (or is it 7?), a guy would want to go sexy. But… let’s see what happens.
Thanks @Wendy I think you might be right.
At lunch I sat and read through some of the texts and he, to me, does seem to be into me. When I told him I really enjoyed spending time with him he enthusiastically agreed, but I know that can be easy to do via text when you aren’t looking the other person in the eye. I haven’t had a crush like this in a while so i just keep driving myself crazy.
@hfantods your story reminds me of a pen pal I have. This guy was nearby for a bachelor party several weeks ago and according to him his friend ended up in the ER and he got on Tinder to talk to anyone and we matched so we started talking. Super funny, never asked for a hookup or anything inappropriate, just wanted to chat. And we’ve become sorta friends over the internet and text. Have no plans to meet, he tells me about dates he goes on, i do the same. He’s kind of a fun pen pal to have. We share tinder horror stories. He’d probably be fun to meet someday but I won’t hold my breath. Maybe next time just throw caution to the wind and meet the guy? Just bee safe!I agree with Wendy that something is odd or off if you go on 6+ dates without more than a hug. And it’s not all your responsibility to make it happen, either. He’s not exactly working with you by choosing dates like lunches, driving range, ice cream, and by not trying for a peck on the lips. So if nothing happens, don’t feel like you failed there. It doesn’t hurt to go for a goodnight kiss tomorrow night. If he leans back or moves his head or something, well, there’s your answer. If there IS a kiss, great, progress has been made, and then I’d chill for a bit and see what he does next as far as initiating a date that’s makeout-friendly. Ball’s in his court.
