DW Community Catch-up Thread
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Thanks everyone. It was really hard for me to even say something because I usually bottle these types of things up. I’m trying so much harder with the guy because of how much I really like him.
Agreed about Regina’s advice. That’s awesome that you were able to work through these next few weeks despite a couple mishaps. It’s excellent advice for all relationships really.
Yes MissDre, I’m glad you accepted. Just because you’re taking a dating break doesn’t mean you should become a hermit. I also think it’s important to keep yourself open to possibilities… just don’t put a lot of pressure on him or yourself for this to work, or don’t fall into old habits. I think that’s what taking the break is really about.
Ver, when is the next time you see the teacher?
Unfortunately, I will not Ver. My next trip home is Thanksgiving. Is that when you’re seeing him next?
The 7th is my cousin’s couple shower/engagement party.
Yay!
Have him take you to Edgewood Apple Orchard for some cider, if it’s still a thing in November.
Haha I’ll try! I offered up a corn maze and a pumpkin patch when he came down last weekend and he was like “Ummmm we’ll have a good time, EVEN if you make me go to a pumpkin patch or corn maze.” So that might not be his idea of a good time lol.
Lame! Kidding!
The apple cider at Edgewood is really good. They have apple cider slushies too.
Thanks guys! I am super busy at work right now so its hard for me to be on DW 🙁 He is being pretty good about making time for me, like he gets that I need actual face time with him and it is only for 10 more days…and he keeps thanking me for being so patient. I just need to stick it out. It would be easier if we lived together, but since we don’t, its kind of like blegh. Anyways, thank your for the ideas/suggestions. I just have a lot of other things going on right now and this is the one I am focusing on because its the only one I can really control to some degree which doesn’t make sense but also does. @Regina that is all really great advice, we have had a conversation like that but he does get kind of sensitive if I imply he isn’t being a “good boyfriend” because in his mind he is trying so hard to balance it all but he also recognizes he is not being the best boyfriend right now because he is super wrapped up in his project ha so its like a catch-22. I have just been feeling lonely I guess and wanted some DW community commiseration.
@TheLadyE, it’s definitely good that he explained himself regarding his reaction to the kissing. But I don’t totally buy the “horrible breakup with fiancee 2 years ago” excuse. I know it can take some people a long time to get over being hurt, but even if he’s cautious about a new relationship, that’s not a good reason to avoid kissing you. My boyfriend went through a horrible breakup with his fiancee but didn’t hesitate when he started dating me, and it was only a few months after his relationship officially ended. Of course, the last couple of years of that relationship were bad and he said they should’ve ended things sooner. Much different than if it was an out-of-the-blue breakup (maybe the Lion Tamer’s was?). Anyway, I really hope he kisses you on your hike! Maybe he’s just nervous b/c of the nerve damage thing.
I don’t want to start a whole new thread for this, I just want to whine for a moment –
I have had a lot of… ambiguous relationships in the last year. Mostly very very casual, mostly platonic relationships with some physical aspects (cuddling, occasional sex). There’s one in particular where the physical attraction was definitely stronger on his end and I wasn’t really acknowledging it and was mostly attributing it to stress in my main relationship. We don’t see each other very often, but most of the last several times we’ve gotten together I have declined sex. It was bound to come to a head eventually.
We got together last night. I’m not in a great place right now due to the breakup a few weeks ago, which he knows. I told him that I’m not really up to romantic connections at the moment and that for the time being I am voluntarily celibate. Well… he brought up the fact that I’ve been declining sex and I said that part of it has been has been timing and stress but I also admitted (to both of us) that while I do think he’s very attractive I’m not necessarily super attracted *to* him. I felt awful, he took it well and said that he still wants to hang out with me but is just going to change his default assumption when we do. So, it’s good! The result was great. But it was an awkward and exhausting conversation and between that, and having to break things off the other with the pushy guy I’d gone out with a couple times because he kept asking to hang out even though I told him I wasn’t going to be making plans for awhile, and another friend of mine trying to kiss me and things there getting awkward, and the breakup.. I’m just tired. I feel completely emotionally drained. And I don’t think I have any other ambiguous relationships that are going to need difficult conversations anytime soon and I am not even remotely interested in dating again for the next few months, and this situation was entirely my fault for not acknowledging my own feelings about him, but it feels like it’s been one thing after another.
Blah 😛
