Covid Support Thread
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Leslie, I think you’re right. I guess I was deluding myself to think otherwise. All of the higher ups always talk about how what we do matters and we’re all a big family. I’ve come to realize that a the term ‘ non-profit’ doesn’t always exclude explotation. When the adminstration staffs greets me in the mornings now, I sort of don’t want to answer them at all or just reply in a cold and sarcastic tone. That’s petty af I know. I’m not going to but I wish I could just start giving them the cold shoulder. Maybe I am taking this too personally.
I applied to a few different jobs and I got a second interview with the one, and they seemed pretty enthusiastic about having me on their staff, but that was last Monday and I haven’t heard back since. I called and left a message yesterday and I really hope they get back to me today and let me know one way or another.
I tend to start panicking internally in these types of situations and my mind begins jumping to worst-case scenarios and then more and more things start piling on in my mind. I’ve been working on ways to stop that from happening, but lately with everything going on in the world, well it’s not as easy to tune it all out.Welp, as if 2020 weren’t already shitty enough, I just had to take my 13-year old dog in to the vet for a non-routine blood work up and urinalysis. Extreme thirst, significant weight loss, heavy panting and loss of energy and distended belly in the last few weeks. The litany of possibilities the vet rattled off include diabetes, Cushings disease, kidney and/or liver failure and/or cancer. I guess I’m hoping for diabetes or Cushings? Fucking hell. I didn’t even realize that we didn’t do the senior CBC panel during her annual exam in May because it was a “Covid” appointment and I had to stay in the car instead of go in with her and have a conversation with the vet. If I’d been more vigilant, then maybe we’d have caught whatever this turns out to be sooner.
I nursed a dog through end stage kidney disease about a year and a half ago and I really, really thought I’d have a lot more time before I had to do it again. I know to a lot of people, it’s “just a dog,” but not to me. And definitely not to my husband; she’s his baby. It’s September 2020 and the world is on fire. Where I am going to find the reserves to do this right now? Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
MJ I am so sorry about your dog. That’s a terrible thing to go through under any circumstances, let alone right now. This isn’t your fault. Sadly these things happen. Even if you did get the CBC panel in May, there is no telling what still might have happened. You’re obviously invested in your dog’s well being and you love them, so you’re not a bad pet owner at all.
It’s not ” just a dog”. She is a family member. People who say things like that about pets are not understanding or empathetic people. You don’t have to pay them any mind. Can your vet recommend any online support groups for you? It sounds silly, but those are a real thing and they can be helpful.I’m sorry, Miss MJ. My late dog was diagnosed with diabetes at age 12, and it’s manageable, but it’s A LOT. You have to stick to a strict feeding schedule and make sure they eat the right amount, and you have to take them into a clinic a bunch of times to get their blood sugar tested hourly throughout the day and make sure the curve looks right so you ensure you have the right insulin dose. It adds up to a lot of $ and time. A friend’s dog had Cushing’s and that’s a lot too.
Anyway, I hope it’s something manageable.
🙁
Also, my dog had been in for a checkup and bloodwork like 2 weeks or something before we realized he was sick and brought him in to get checked and they figured out it was diabetes. Don’t beat yourself up, these things come on quickly.
@Originalusername the second you said the higher ups liked to say you were all family I was like *ding ding ding!* middle square on the dysfunctional workplace card. All the worst ones say that because they think it gives them enough familiarity to treat you like crap. You’re too good for them, honestly.
@MissMJ I hope your dog is ok. As Kate said these things usually appear almost overnight, especially in older animals so don’t beat yourself up.
Thank you for saying that Ange. I don’t feel that way right now, but it’s just nice to hear that I’m not crazy from an outside perspective. One of the administrators keeps texting me asking me if I am okay or if I am mad at her because I have ‘ seemed sort of off’. She is one of the ones that has known, I am sure. Apparently yesterday one of the cooks may have either quit or walked out of her shift early and very upset because the director made a ” joke” about slavery/ her being a plantation owner because most of us working outside this whole time have been POC. I wasn’t there so idk for sure but it wouldn’t surprise me. I just don’t understand how you can defend a person like that. Her assistant staff always say that she just comes off as a bitch, but really she has our best interests at heart and is just under a lot of stress right now to keep things up and running. I think I may be furloughed rather than let go, which is going to screw me over even more. I wish they would just let me go so atleast I could get unemployment and I wouldn’t have to live with this knawing uncertainty anymore. I’m only part time , a few hours short of full time. They don’t provide insurance , benefits of any kind or union membership so I don’t know why or what the benefit would be to just have me furloughed. I feel like these last few weeks have really opened my eyes to the reality of this whole” were a family”shpeel.
MJ – I’m so sorry.
OUN – “We’re a family” is code for “we have no boundaries and don’t manage this as a business should be run.” They use that to keep your salary low, but I’m sure managers are making sure they either have a market-appropriate salary OR have other financial resources and then play the “I sacrifice so you should too card.” Meanwhile their significant other makes half a mil a year so sacrifice is “I go to work every day even though I don’t have to” and not “I make so little that I have to go to a food pantry.”
Fuck that noise. Get out. It’s great that you had an interview. Hiring takes a while – people are often not rushing and don’t have the same sense of urgency. Don’t reach out again, breathe through the panic, come here for commiseration. We’ve all been there.
@OUN, the thing is, as long as you stay fixated on the bullshit here, in kind of a state of disbelief, you’re not going to move forward. Don’t keep standing there aghast. Accept that the situation is super fucked, isn’t going to get better, and your “job” right now is to find a new FT job or whatever type of gainful employment that you need. This is a train wreck that you need to walk away from. Focus all your attention on job searching / upskilling / whatever it is.
I was at a small company for a couple years that didn’t have its shit together and was a sinking ship. I started looking around months before it finally sank, and was able to transition pretty smoothly to other work and classwork. You need to be doing the same.
Thank you. I have been applying and interviewing at different places, but I can’t afford to lose this job until I have a guaranteed offer on another one. I don’t want to stay here anymore. But you’re right that fixating on it won’t do me any good. I need to start thinking of this as a temporary situation. Hopefully very temporary.
Thank you, everyone. The vet just called with the results. While there are some markers for Cushings in her blood work, she said my dog’s thyroid is way out of whack and wants to address that first to see if that clears up the other readings. Meds then a re-check in 30 days. No indications of liver/kidney failure or cancer. I’m literally crying with relief right now. Sorry for the overreaction yesterday. 2020 is just getting to me bad these days.
I always get super traumatized at the vet, after receiving an abrupt cancer diagnosis with my first dog (same thing happened with my parents’ dog), and then with my second dog, a lot happened with his health in his last year of life.
I basically start crying as soon as I get in there now.
