Crush’s best friend keeps trying to hinder my chances with him???
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How did you manage to hang out with them if you’re afraid to ask him for his number? Have you just been inviting her out? I don’t understand…or miss this.
I am a very shy person, but I am bold when I need to be, and in cases of love, I have always acted boldly and not regretted it.
I would advise you to be straight up about it. Tell him you like him and you want his number. You will know immediately where you stand, and yes that is terrifying and not as complicated as this long drawn out dance, but it will maybe save you some time? Maybe you’ll come to like this other girl, if he thinks she’s cool, she might be?
My advice was to be friendly, not to try to make her your friend. For one second stop trying to manipulate the people around you and think about what you would feel like if someone tried this shit on you.
If you try to make this person your friend – spend one on one time with her and then pull the “I’ve got a crush on your BFF, can you help me get with him” she is going to know that you were after him the entire time. You’re going to hurt her feelings and she’s going to talk to him about how you used her.
Be a better person. Don’t make friends with her just so you can get with him.
@Copa nooooo u got it wrong. He isnt from my high school, hes from my neighborhood. Its a big neighborhood where not everyone knows each other so its not surprising that he brought a friend
Also, that night wasn’t rlly a date. We were just getting to know each other and i didn’t try flirting w him right from the start. The befriending the girl thing might not be the best idea but i want her to trust me so that the guy doesn’t run away (even idk if im making sense 😭). But i understand how a third person might make him think that im not rlly interested in him. So maybe ill spend more one on one time w him. About the social media thing,….ummm i have a mum who, by today’s generation atleast, can be considered strict so she doesn’t rlly go with the “hanging out online” concept. If i had a boyfriend, she’d want me to go talk to him irl. I think its cuz of all the cybercrime sh!t that’s happening recently. Idk. So yea, i am not allowed to have social media as a means of communicating w a guy.
@Anonymousse ur definitely right. I survive on one braincell so i took it the wrong way and thought of being a fake friend but like the other two replies after ur second one said, its mean and she probably feels used. So i was thinking of gaining her trust by being a nice, genuine friend without compromising much time w the guy so that things go in a balance??? I was gonna ask for his number but maybe as a friend because i feel its a bit early to just go be like, “listen up, i like u!!”. And yea u got it right, i have just been inviting her cuz she usually brings this guy w her. My mind is messed up, i know. But i will tell him i like him maybe after one week of talking to him. Im not scared to ask or confess its just that i want him to know me before making a decision. And if i just straight up tell him i like him, there’s a gud chance he might say no because he would also feel that i made my decision without rlly knowing much about him. Idk about u but instead of jumping right into a relationship by confessing, its best to know the person as they would express themselves without the relationship label attached. It just feels natural and right to me. Everything else u said made sense tho.Im going to put this advice to use and give an update day after tmrw ❣️
@LisforLeslie ya i would feel terrible if sm1 tried to manipulate me like that. But i dont hate her. I do want to be her friend. And im not gonna pull the “i have a crush on ur bff card, u need to help me” cuz i did it once and it backfired like crazy. So i wont do that. Any matter involving my feelings towards him wont reach her ears from me. And honestly, if she and i dont click as friends, i wont avoid her or throw her away. Ill still be friendly towards her.
So yea, im not trying to be friends w her to get to him. I understood that thanks to ur first reply.
Why do you invite her? You invite her out and then your first post was about how annoyed you were that she- the person you are inviting to spend time with you- is hindering your chances.
YOU are hindering your chances. Because you’re thinking of the best way to manipulate this situation instead of just…talking to him and getting to know him.
What seems to have happened is the same thing you said you’ve done before, you’ve befriended her but now you’re annoyed that it’s not progressing with your actual love interest and you’re trying to come up with ways to get her away…but you can’t even talk to this guy on your own.
My suggestion is the next time, stop going to the best friend, go to the source. This same situation will keep playing out if you keep trying to “befriend” his bff while also secretly hating her.
When you tell someone you like them, it doesn’t mean you know everything about them. It means you like what you know.
I gotta ask again since the question @Anonymousse asked wasn’t answered…
…this guy is roughly the same age as you, right?
Ok, he’s a neighborhood pal and not a classmate — got it! Even still, you’ve already hung out with him and his friend as a trio for safety (a couple of times if I am understanding this correctly). Why continue to involve his friend at all? This is the most roundabout way of trying to get a crush’s attention and I think it’ll prove ineffective. Right now, you are trying to befriend his friend to get closer to him and not from any real desire to be her friend from what I can tell. That’s… not very nice.
If you see him at the neighborhood holiday party you referenced, strike up a conversation. You can be a little flirty — it’s okay to do that, it doesn’t have to be over-the-top. You don’t have to make a declaration that you like him when you ask for his number. Even a casual, “Hey, I realized I don’t have your number!” then hand him your phone for him to put it in.
I also can really relate to what @Anonymousse wrote about being shy but still being able to be bold in love. I’m similar, but have typically been okay putting myself out there when I’m interested in something or someone. No regrets, even in the situations where the outcome wasn’t what I wanted.
Honestly, they are both probably confused by you. Why do you only contact her, and not talk to him much, or get his number, and then are trying to figure out a way to deal with your jealousy…it would be easy. You ask him for his number and ask to hang out without her. That’s how things happen. If you can’t do that, and do these weird games of fake befriending her although you hate her, and they both probably assume you like him- yet don’t have the cojones to even speak to him? Honestly, they may think you like her. I would.
Bloody, she said he was the same age, but I don’t know.
How old are you, IDEK? 14? 16?
Guys/people do not play mind reader and he would never assume you like him and are a big scared cat. His friend might get it, but this is really childish, IDEK. That and the references to your parents social media control make me wonder how old you even are and if this will ever be anything other than a weird crush and strange learning process on how to get what you want. I assume you are 12-15 based on this, quite honestly. It’s okay if you are, I was 12 once with wild crushes, too. You don’t have to say but I feel like you’re really young. If you can’t talk to a boy, you can’t date the boy.
@Copa i understand. I probably screwed this up all by myself. Im gonna try and fix it the way u said at the party. Ill be a bit flirty like u said, but i might not confess my feelings just yet.
@Anonymousse Alr im gonna say it again, it was my mistake that i didn’t ask him for his number the first, and actually, only time we had a conversation. I tried to, towards the end of our interaction, and when i did the girl just spoke over me saying that its getting late and i should be getting home. Maybe i wasnt assertive enough or whatever but i didn’t have a chance to meet him or ask him for his number and i was desperate to see him again so i contacted the girl since these two usually hang out together. So yea i fell it into the trap which i created but again, i dont hate her nor am i jealous. And ur right they’re prolly confused (i definitely am) or not caring about this shit at all. Ur also right about the asking him out part as well. I know i shouldnt be scared and that he’s not gonna figure it out by himself but it just doesn’t feel right to tell him so early. I dont know wut i should do (*scratches head aggressively *). Ive only ever been in two frickin relationships both of which went at a snail’s pace before it officially started. To answer urs and @bloodymediocrity ‘s question, im 16. Like bruh, did u think a 12-14 yr old would just waltz into the forum lol. And it’s not that rare for parents to have control over the child’s socials right? Its annoying but its necessary. If i appear childish, its cuz i am. And just suck at this kind of stuff. My friends as well. Which is why im here. But i will try talking to him today. Thx for this ❣️.P.S. im surprised u guys already had crushes when u were 12. When i was 12 i was thinking about boogers and not boys lmao (still dont know which one is worse).
