Crush’s best friend keeps trying to hinder my chances with him???
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“Its a big neighborhood where not everyone knows each other so its not surprising that he brought a friend”
It sounds like he brought the friend in that instance? Though yes, I do understand that she’s been pursuing a fake friendship with the friend too. IDK. I can’t really follow the chronology of events and I’m confused how she knows him well enough to hang out but not well enough to ask for or have his number even casually.
Yeah, they had that six hour conversation- and you said he brought her? can you please clarify what is going on IDEK? I’m not trying to pick on you/ just tell us the real deal so we can give you the best advice.
Re: social media. You’re here on this forum presumably without your parents’ knowledge, right @IDEK? I did things my parents didn’t know about online as a teen (nothing sketchy), but the internet was a different place then. I’m mid-30s, I feel like a lot of my peers made mistakes on social media because we were young when it was young. SO many inappropriate partying photos were plastered online when I was in college, I assume even the deleted stuff is still out there somewhere. A college roommate almost had a job offer rescinded over something she posted once, she had her phone on speaker when HR called to talk to her about “something awkward.” An ex’s wife accidentally outed herself as a creepy weirdo who kept very close tabs on me via FB, then a couple years later her IG behavior verified that she was more bonkers than I realized (kinda funny, kinda unnerving). When I was online dating, I had a couple guys find me via social media and contact me that way to bypass the mutual matching function, which made me feel exposed. Things can get weird online, you should be careful, and I know it gets way worse than anything I’ve seen or experienced. I think a smart parent would keep an eye on social media and online behavior, but outright banning it assuming responsible use seems extreme at 16. My boyfriend’s oldest niece is 17, her IG is public and some of her photos are super thirst trap-y. If I were her parents I’d do what I could to get her to lock it down. And don’t even get me started on parents who use their kids as content.
I would find it strange to have a parent in your personal stuff and not allowing social media at 16. I would think they’d be relaxing the rules by 16. You’re almost 18, right IDEK?
Sorry, on my phone and picked the wrong thread to update. I was going for the Xmas gifts thread but obviously botched that ha.
Alr, i know i was supposed to update a couple days back but I had to visit family for the holidays. Sry. Also, its a bit late but Merry Christmas ❤️ 🎄!!
So during the holiday event, i asked for his number and he gave it (yay) and ive only ever texted him a hi and how r u doing cuz both of us were pretty busy during the holidays so couldn’ttext much. He’s on a trip so we didn’t hang out after that but i did get some 1 to 1 time w him during the party and he just keeps gettubg better. About his friend, i was friendly to her and she seemed to open up a bit more to me compared to our last interaction and i feel she has prolly let go of whatever barriers there had been last time cuz she was pretty fun to be around. All in all, things are looking up and ill be hanging out with him more often once he comes back from his trip. I just want to thank everyone for their advice because i think it really helped.
Thank you <3
Can you explain the previous six hour conversation and how that happened? Great, glad you got his number.
Im gonna try to answer all ur replies cuz there’s a whole truckload of em since i haven’t been able to respond.
First off, i only said it was unlikely for ppl younger than 15 to enter an advice forum cuz most of the time, i only see ppl in their 20s and older ask for advice. Maybe its specific to a certain website but idk much about advice forums since this is like, my second time being on one. Also, i had my first crush at 14 cuz ig i only caught those feelings at that time. Most of the people i know are the same and ive only seen 12 yr olds having crushes in movies lol. So @Anonymousse pls dont take wut i said about that as an insult cuz it was only a joke about how naive i was when i was 12. Obviously these kind of things r different for everyone but know that i was just making a joke because i wouldnt purposely insult some1 or twist their words if they’re taking the time to help me out.
To answer @copacabananut (idk if i should be side-eyeing that username or not lmao), I’ve seen so many ppl bring a friend on their dates when they’re in an official relationship so this isnt that surprising cuz we were just hanging out as friends the first time. But during the Christmas party, i got to talk to him alone and it was fun. I also met some of his other friends (mostly guys) but it was only an introduction and not a long conversation. Keeping that aside, i rlly like wut u and @Kate said. Im gonna try that the next time i talk to him. Its a great way of knowing if some1 likes u without confessing.
I know its odd that i talked to him for 6 hours, especially when i didn’t know him or his friend that well, but honestly, our holidays had started and there was a lot of time to kill that day so we didn’t even realise that a part of the day got over till my mom called me asking if i had run away lol.
About the social media thing, i tend to get distracted very easily so if i had any access to social media i bet i would still be digging the grave of my test scores. Most of my friends communicate via social media apps so its a bit hard to connect w them other than thru text. But other than that, id say its a win for me because i have been focusing on my work more ever since my parents enforced this.
So yea, i think thats all. I hope i was able to answer everything concisely. Thx again for everyone’s opinions on this and i hope all of u have a great New Year ❤️.
I can’t take credit for that advice, it was part of what I heard a dating coach or expert say on a public radio segment about how to meet and date people “offline,” meaning not using the apps. She said when she goes out somewhere and looks up from her phone, she notices everyone is just looking at their phones. She talked about how to put down your phone, be present, observe your surroundings, notice people, start a convo, give them your contact info, AND deal with rejection. I’ll see if I can find the link because it was stellar advice.
Yup, here’s a link to the transcript, with the option to listen (20 mins). https://www.npr.org/transcripts/1196978212
