Yeah, you need to expand your friend circle. My husband and I are in our late 30s and have chosen not to have kids, either. And, candidly, we don’t see a lot of our old friends who have had kids without their kids. Maybe a few times a year? When we do things with them, it’s usually with the kids. But we also have a circle of childless friends or those with kids who are in their teens, most of whom we met through work or hobbies, etc. We skew toward the younger end of the age range in the group, but I honestly think I have more in common with my 50 year old working childless friend than I do with my 36 year old friend stay at home mom friend who’s focused on schools, kids’ hobbies, etc. It’s worth it to me to work to keep the friendship, despite our differences, but when I just want to have a dinner party, I focus on the friends without kids.

Its extremely common that parents do NOT respect the lifes of those without children, many think they are very special and just cant understand… its sanctimoneous crap.

Us childfree people are often looked down upon and the only party that is expected to compromise.

If they cant come without kids for the few specific childfree events then they cant come…. the fact that they dont look after their kids when they are at your house sounds very entitled and many parents are entitled brats.

Find some other people to have fun with

Please dont gender segregate these couples we DO live in the 21st century.

Childfree people arent as rare as we use to be.

Plenty of parents that arent rich can and will do fun stuff without kids, its about respect and they dont have to all be able to join a party every time.

Its their choice, they are trying to make it your burden.

I mean, you’re not wrong to want what you want, but your expectations are probably a little high. Based on your age and your description of your friends’ kids (they’re still inviting their own friends to the birthday parties; you’ve spent time changing diapers) I would guess that most of these kids are very young. As everyone has said, sometimes it is hard to find trustworthy sitters that you are willing to leave alone with your infant/toddler, not to mention the expense of that on top of whatever other childcare expenses you have. Like if my husband and I want to go to a movie, we will easily shell out $100 for the tickets and a sitter. How many movies do you think we’ve seen in the last 5 years? We have been trying to plan an adults-only night out with two other couples with kids, and have had to cancel twice now because someone’s kids got sick/someone’s sitter got sick/etc.

It can be hard when things change, but you just can’t expect to be as high a priority for them at this time in life. While I’m sure your friendship is valued by all of these people (and you’ve definitely shown up for them!) they just don’t have as much to give you right now. Keep showing up and inviting them as much as you’re comfortable with, cultivate other friendships, and if you still want them to be in your circle, be patient and forgiving. Life is long and this is all part of the ebb and flow.

So first of all, yes your friends are being very rude by bringing their children to your home when you say its child-free. They don’t have to come but they can’t just impose their children on your evening.

That said, 3-4 child-free evenings a year is actually a lot. I’ve got a 19 month old and I think we’ve had 3 childfree evenings in her entire life. We frequently split up for outings with friends, i.e. I’ll go and he’ll stay home with the kid or vice versa. You dismiss this as if its worthless, but I think its a bigger deal than you realize. They miss family time and post-kid-bedtime couple time to hang out with you. That’s not nothing.

It seems to me that you resent your friends with kids for having different priorities and not being able to party with you like they used to. I think you need to expand your social circle to include other childfree folks who can show up in the manner you want them to.