Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Ho to tell if she's interested but hesitating, or simply not interested

Home Forums Advice & Chat Ho to tell if she's interested but hesitating, or simply not interested

Viewing 12 posts - 13 through 24 (of 60 total)
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  • #687937 Reply
    Avatar photorosie posie

    I’m going to throw in on this because I know that I do not like men approaching me at the gym and I know a number of other women who very sensitive about this. I am not saying there is anything wrong with the OP but every co-ed gym I have ever belonged to have had at least a few creepers and women are very aware of this, so I think he should tread lightly. I agree with the other recommendations to start with smiling and then if she responds in kind move to a “hi” if she is near you. She may be receptive and have an interest to you as well and you can proceed from there. However, please be aware of her body language and if she’s throwing off signals that she does not want to be spoken to. Many people are purely there to workout. You can tell the people who are open to socializing.

    #687938 Reply

    Like the others said, it doesn’t hurt to smile and say hi. You’re not going to be able to determine whether she is interested or not just by observing her. I’m sure that I’ve had people at the gym mistake me for ogling them when I’m just trying to read their shirt or think they have a weird haircut, or I’m just bored on the elliptical. Even if I found someone attractive, I also may not have expected or intended on having a conversation with them either.

    #687955 Reply

    I agree with Rosie Posie, getting hit on at the gym is the worst. Ugh! Especially for those woman who are serious about their workout regimen. This is the reason that I no longer go to a gym.

    If you must hit on her, do it when she’s leaving so you don’t interrupt her work out or delay her from getting her work out in.

    #687958 Reply

    I hate being hit on the gym too. That’s why I just put on my cancelling noise headphones and don’t talk to anyone.

    #687962 Reply
    Avatar photobagge72

    I wonder if she is looking at him because he wont stop looking at her? Like maybe she is like WTF is Eric looking at me! Again!

    #687964 Reply

    No one is saying he should give her roses. Just say hello and try to talk. If she’s not interested in talking then leave her alone.

    #687965 Reply

    She sends mixed signals, or at least that’s how i perceive them.
    Sometimes she gets right in my line of sight, and sometimes she doesn’t.
    Once, quite a while ago actually, i stopped because i was feeling i was about to have a cramp, so i started stretching a bit. She came over to me asking if i was alright and i said ”Just a little cramp, nothing serious. Thanks”.
    I usually leave my towel hanging on this wall (about 4’high), this one time she leaned against the wall, her arms resting right on top of the towel while she was talking with another girl, and, as i was about to leave i said ”excuse me” so that i could take my towel. I tried to make eye contact, but she didn’t look back at me.
    Was it an innocent gesture?!

    Her body language though seems quite, i don’t know… a bit stiff, maybe. Her legs, her neck, her facial expressions, i just can’t figure it out…!

    #687966 Reply
    Avatar photoCopa

    I never get hit on at the gym. I can understand why it’d be annoying, but I’m feeling a little left out here since it seems so common. Haha.

    #687968 Reply
    Avatar photoveritek33

    @copa I was thinking the same thing lol

    #687969 Reply

    I don’t think the line between being approached in an annoying way or not is drawn at whether the person brings them roses. I think starting a conversation and then seeing what she does next is a good idea. The issue is that a lot of people just keep going. They either keep talking too long in that one instant or they keep approaching the person, and the person is forced to either change their routine or tell a stranger to stop talking to him. A LOT of people can’t determine boundaries on their own, so that’s why folks are suggesting caution.

    Since she spoke with you already, then it shouldn’t be too weird if you speak to her. But there are a million scenarios. It could be she’s interested. Or she’s just a concerned person. Or she’s just an extrovert who likes talking to strangers. Or she is looking at you because you look at her. Or you look like her brother and she finds it fascinating. Maybe she’s interested, but was busy the day you approached her. Or she finds you attractive, but not enough to pay attention to every move that you make. Or she hoped that you’d strike up a conversation about the towel and you didn’t. Nobody can tell you what she is thinking, so that’s why everyone is suggesting that you speak to her and see what happens.

    #687970 Reply


    Regardless of what you read on the internet you can’t evaluate a stranger’s interest in you without talking to her.

    #687971 Reply

    I always wear my wedding ring at the gym so that ladies aren’t constantly harrassing me.

Viewing 12 posts - 13 through 24 (of 60 total)
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