Me (31M) and my GF (26F) are officially a couple for Two months. Before I proposed to her, we had known each other for just Three days. In these Three days, we talked a lot via Facebook and WhatsApp. 7 hours of sleep and some light work but other than that we are constantly talking about important staff to know each other. I’ve told her Two important factors that I can’t break. It’s my personality and who am I proud of. She understood and agreed to move forward. Anything she wants to add? ‘We are good’ she said to me. Then I proposed to her, she accepted and we started to vibe more.

So we are in a month. Everything is going smoothly and every moment is magical for both of us. We talked all the time. She shows her affection in her phone calls, text replies, and in person as well. We improved our mental health, getting to know each other very well but we are not that productive, to be honest. But I have to work and she needs to study and we do that from time to time. At this time, I talked to her parents and they loved me. She talks to my parents as well. Even our parents spoke with each other’s family. We are planning to marry but the final decision is in her court. I can wait 1/2/3 or even 5 years if she wants to. There’s no toxicity, we have our freedoms as well.

It’s really important to know her background. Currently, she is preparing for the IELTS exam. Because she wants to go abroad for higher studies and make her dream come true. Also, she’s a writer. She published some writings here and there. Worked as a scriptwriter for Two short films. Lots of writers and creative people in our country know her as well. But she can’t write or focus on her studies for about 1.5 years. Because of a personal fuckup, she did about 1.5 years ago. This caused her to stop writing and made her depressed. She questions her decisions and future. She didn’t tell me the full story of this incident But she thanked me for the time I gave her and made her feel secure. She told me this multiple times.

But, She didn’t tell me the seriousness of her dream. After one month passed, she told me one day that, she would go abroad anyhow possible. It’s her dream, her father’s dream. She will not listen. Then I asked her about our relationship:
‘I don’t know, give me some time to think about it’ she told me.
‘If you want to go abroad and fulfill your dream then go ahead. I will not force you to stay here. But remember, our relationship will fall apart.’
‘Come with me then.’
‘I can’t. You know my situation.’
‘I will marry you before I go and then I will come back about Two years. Or I’m going without getting married and then I will come back 3/4 years later. Okay?’
‘It’s not okay and it will not work. You know this as well.’
‘Don’t worry about this now. My exam is in November. I’m not sure if I’ll pass or not. Then Visa processing, etc will take months. So give me some time to think about it.’

After this conversation, she visited her parents and stayed for Two weeks. At this time, nothing has changed. We talked for hours. She and her parents have a meeting about her and the future. She told me this:
‘I’m not going.’
‘What changed?’
‘You know I can’t do anything alone, I can’t survive in those winters. It’s best to stay here and continue my writings, university or find some jobs maybe?’
‘Sounds perfect’
‘But I want to take the IELTS exam. Already spent lots of money and time. So my father wants me to take part and give him good results.’
‘Are you sure about all these decisions?’
‘Yes (my name). I’m not going. But you have to break 1 promise of yours. I need that, I will need that’
‘Don’t worry I will think about it and we will work to fulfill our dreams together, here.’
Maybe 2/3 days of hard thinking, I wanted to break my promise just for her. It’s made me upset, truly.

She comes back to the city. Within Three days she buys a new laptop for her. She wants to write, study, and want to learn some tools If I helped her. I agreed. After that, it’s going downhill. She made her Facebook profile public. I didn’t mind a bit. She’s getting tons of tons friend requests and message requests. Everybody wants to talk to her, write poems, and whatnot. She gave me some screenshots of these requests. She didn’t reply to those messages but she loves the attention and praises. She told me that. On top of that, She spent hours after hours watching reels, videos, Facebook posts, Chatting with others, etc. I’m not kidding, One of our national celebrities knocked her on Facebook. He wants to talk to her. About what? Don’t know. I didn’t say anything, it’s her choice to make. So one day evening we are chatting through WhatsApp. Suddenly she stopped. I asked her what happened. She sees my messages but will not reply. 10 minutes to 20 minutes passed. She sees my messages but will not reply. At this time I typed a lot that’s true and told her a single reply. She didn’t reply a single line like, ‘Wait I’m busy. Call you later or something to calm me down. After 1 plus hours later she called me. I told her to give me the update, what’s going on? She seems happy and laughing. Then she told me the reason was that she was talking with that celebrity. Then why didn’t you give me a reply or tell me you were talking with that guy? She told me this:

‘I don’t know. I didn’t feel like you understood or maybe said no?’
‘What? I told you, it’s your choice. But for the last 1 hour, you saw my reply but didn’t say anything. Why is that?’
‘I don’t know.’ she laughed. I was not ready for that reaction.

After that night, she was trying to push me away. She’s online but will not reply to me, not answering my call is a new thing. One time, I tried 27 times, but she would not answer my call. I replied to her message right away. But she’ll reply 20 minutes later. Talking over the phone is kinda nonexistent. If we are talking, 5 minutes later she will tell me that she’s not in the mood. If I ask her what’s going on? She doesn’t tell me anything. After creating some pressure, she says, ‘I’m not sure about us. Give me some time to think about this.’ sometimes she said, ‘I’m depressed and can’t do anything.’ ‘Hey don’t worry I love you (my name)’. But she will not go into the details.

This has been going on for 1 week maybe. After that, I met her in person. I told her my concern about all of this. Like: is there something I did wrong? Or why don’t you like me? Again she told me nothing. Just ‘I love you, I’m happy with you, I like you, and it’s not about that. I’m seeing anybody you know that you can check my socials or whatnot. Give me some time, I’m a mess right now, I’m dealing with depression, and December is a long way. Don’t worry.’ On that day, someone sent her a message. I saw that but I did not react. Just asked her, should I be concerned? No, she said.

After that meeting, she continuously ignored my texts and calls. No, I love you or miss you. If I said, I love you; she thanked me. Sometimes she doesn’t recognize me as a BF. I’m a friend. Sometimes she says, I love you to me. All of a sudden she told me, she changed my mind. Now she wants to go abroad again. She will not change her mind. After listening to this, I told her again to give me 4 days, to think all of this. Again she continues to waste her time online doing nothing. At this time, I made her a calendar to follow, giving her tips, and checking to make sure she was okay. One night we were texting. She was really upset but didn’t want to tell me. Again I pressured her to tell me. She opened up a bit and that was that her depression was not gone. Currently, she’s dealing with it. There’s someone 61-year-old man who makes her life miserable. This creep made her stop writing or anything for that matter. He wants her that’s why he constantly makes various types of threats. Made a lot of fake accounts. Messaged a lot of known people to her. He’s out of control and lots of other details she shared with me. After 1.5 months later now I know all this. I’ve said multiple times, should I be concerned about this man? She always said ‘no’ to me. But after that night, I was truly upset with her.

Finally, we’ve met. And assure her that I will take the necessary legal steps to stop him. Also, I said ‘If you want to go abroad go ahead but I’m going with you.’ She did not make any comments about the hard decisions that I made for her. She didn’t let me hold my hand. No hug or I love you. Even she comments about my height. She is 2 inches taller than me, sometimes she regrets that but nothing serious. I can’t wear this or that. I have to do this or that. I appreciate her thoughtfulness. But I’m not smart enough for her?

Within 2 days I’ve prepared legal actions for that creep man. I talked to her family about this. They gave me ‘Yes’. But she’s not agreeing with me. She doesn’t want to hurt him because she respects him. Also, she hopes that she can go abroad and he can’t harm her anymore. I didn’t take any further steps in this matter.

But she’s not stopping to ignore me. I can’t go into details but I still remember some moments that she ignores me. It made me cry like a baby. I felt like a such low human being. It questions my whole personality and whatnot. Now you can ask why am I still with her. Maybe 10-13 days ago, I told her that I didn’t want to continue. But she makes a scene where she blames herself. She rants about her sadness and depression, etc. After that, I wanted to help her, wanted to stay with her to fight this depression or make sure she passed the IELTS.

Again, I think about this multiple times. Is that the depression? Or she wants to go abroad that’s why she doesn’t want the attachments? How can I leave her like that? I love her so how can I leave her? But how about me? I’m suffering. Again, I know for a fact she will not pass the exam. So after that, we will be together. All of these questions and confusion made me a depressed person. And then she gets upset if I don’t say ‘Good morning.’ But saying ‘Good night’ is nonexistent. She kinda mocks me if I open up to her that I feel useless. She tells me to ‘Be a mature person.’ I don’t know anymore.

If you read my story, please give me your honest feedback/suggestions. I can take it if it’s the hard truth. Please help me.