Turn Down That Music and Get Off My Lawn Moment?
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Oops, yes I meant recipient “thanked” in person.
My siblings and I still buy for each other. It is a bit hard buying for my brother. We also used to split our parents’ gift.
Last year my husband and I got “each other” a cooking class date.
These children sound like they’ve already got a 401k and a plush retirement account. Do they need gifts?
For me, Christmas is for the kids. Before I had them, I didn’t really celebrate at all like I do now. I have to assume the mom (Or dad) didn’t see the excessively expensive list, or maybe she needs a gift and put it on Bobby’s list? When I was a kid, wish lists were pie in the sky desires that rarely got fulfilled so I could see myself putting down AirPods. Kids probably have no idea what they cost. Maybe they’d be happy with Amazon knockoffs.
MY niece put a box of cholula hot sauce packets on her Christmas wish list, so I’m working with different kids over here.
I think Drunk Elephant for a 12-year-old is ridiculous. We’ve had enough skincare/product talk here that I’m sure it’s no secret that I have my own regimen and splurge here and there on specific items. But that stuff is so pricey! I can’t believe anyone would buy it for a kid. I’m an old fuddy duddy I guess.
@hfandtods:
– I don’t expect a thank you card for gifts given in person, but two of the nieces (the local two) often send them to us anyway. I love the cards, I think they’re adorable. I’ll be sad when the youngest stops sending them with spelling mistakes and big loopy kid writing.
– I still buy something for my sister. She gets stuff for us. Sometimes it’s stuff for us as a couple. Like last year she got us a gift card toward a cooking class. I can’t recall what I got her last year. She complimented my travel jewelry case on our recent trip so I was going to get her that this year.
– I get the bf a gift, too. I’m blanking on what I’ve gotten him. We need a new couch so he asked if we can just do some stocking stuffers so that we can buy a couch. Works for me! He needs new socks, so I’ll throw some into his stocking. Probably a couple other small things, too.Yep, the parents know; they sent the list around. I saw a list online of a survey of tweens saying what they want for Christmas, and, yeah, these asks seem to be in line with the general tween expectations.
@htfonds’ questions:
1. do you expect a thank you card if you gave a gift in person and the recipient asked them then?
No. In person thank you is good enough for me.
2. do you get gifts for siblings?
No. We sibs started doing kids only Christmas a few years ago.
3. what kind of gifts do you get for your SO?
It varies a lot, but we typically do get each other one “big” gift. Our birthdays are around Christmas, too, though, and sometimes we take a trip or something as a joint birthday gift. If we do that, then the Christmas gifts are smaller.
I don’t have anyone in my family under age 30 lol, and I just buy toys for tots, but I’m not surprised kids want this high-end stuff when it’s all being pushed in their face by social media influencers and advertisers trying to make money. Of course they think they need Drunk Elephant and AirPods. And there’s no indication that you have to be an adult with a well-paying job to afford this stuff, when they see every random girl on TikTok having these items.
I’ve mentioned this before I’m sure but 35-ish years ago my mom sent out a letter to the fam saying “We get what we need, we mostly get what we want. Let’s stop adult gift giving and redirect that money to the charity of your choice.” Kids under 18 still got gifts. In college my mom would sneak something to me and my sister like a pair of knit gloves from Marshall’s. It has saved me so many headaches and stress.
I don’t know what I’d do if my SO still wanted to exchange gifts. I’d probably do like hfantods with a shared experience, a concert or something.
I was raised with in person and follow up thank you notes; I’ve only recently started getting thank you texts from younger relatives. I have decided to be generous and accept those as sufficient. I think it’s very big of me.
I don’t care about thank you notes, but I was surprised when we interviewed my boss’s friend’s kid for intern and he didn’t send a thank you. Our names were right in the zoom, and he could get our emails via his mom.
But I don’t blame the kids themselves for any of this that’s different from when we were kids…. it’s all about what they’re being taught and influenced to do, by adults.
So, I don’t blame kids for wanting these things. Consumerism is very in-your-face with social media and it has normalized over consumption. But I do question the parents for buying ’em. When my sister and I were little, we’d put together our Christmas lists by writing down what we saw in TV commercials. (I still remember some 90s commercials for toys I wanted!) We did not get those things. My parents never bought us the “it” toys or “cool” brands, unless maaaybe there was a sale. IDK. I’m not a parent, so wtf do I know, but I can’t imagine myself being like, “Sure, I’ll buy you $78 maracuja oil infused moisturizer.”
As adults, my parents are fairly generous gift givers to their grown kids, but they also don’t have grandkids to shop for. I would prefer to only shop for kids and get adults in my life stocking stuffers.
I’ve been taking pottery classes and plan to gift some of the nicer pieces. I’ve thought about turning some of the uglier ones into candles.
ETA: Post-interview thank you emails make me so uncomfortable, haha.
This is definitely a parenting issue. My kids do chores to earn spending money. They are 8&9.
I work with kids who come from a variety of backgrounds, but most are from our wealthy area. On the whole, they are not anywhere near as status obsessed and stupid as the media would portray them. I work at a performing arts school that the kids apply to- so they are driven and disciplined. They constantly have performances and practices and trainings. Status symbols are AirPods and nice water bottles, and not wearing a jacket. There are a few with nice cars. But they all know who has money, who doesn’t, who works jobs after school (a surprising amount.)Drunk elephant for a twelve year old is literal insanity to me. What kind of aging complex does the mother have? Does the twelve year old’s skin look youthful yet? Her skin hasn’t even aged?!
My niece is the heir to a natural water spring that is bottled (not on my side, unfortunately) and is the only grandchild and is very spoiled. Definitely spoiled. She’s 14 and has AirPods (so do I and my husband, they’re awesome.) However, she also does volunteer work most of the year and has built a successful charity that collects socks and underwear for the homeless in Philly that delivered 40,000 socks this season. It’s a balance but this seems like a parenting thing.
I will admit in years past I have been one of those, “anyone I see in person is getting a little token gift.” I normally stock up on holiday treats like fancy cookies, chocolate, hot cocoa, candles and nice food stuff and hand those out or make little bags up really quick. And then if I don’t see anyone, I eat the treats.
