Uncle/father UPDATE! Test has been done!!
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This is horrible news. Yeah, sit there and celebrate because your drugged-out criminal son won the prize YOU wanted for him (he clearly doesn’t want this kid himself, and he will not be a financially supportive or healthy “father” to her).
You’ve managed to make sure the mother you despise as a whore and the granddaughter you can’t stand to look at will have worse lives now. GREAT JOB, LADY.
I have zero problem telling a criminal drug addict loser to cease fathering innocent children permanently. Team BGM on this one.
You know what’s going to really be the sad part about this? The LW is building herself completely up, but I can see the outcome coming a million miles away:
-The child’s mother doesn’t want the LW’s son to be a part of the child’s life, to the point where she’s deluded herself into not believing a scientifically proven/supported test.
-The son doesn’t want to be a part of the child’s life (which we can paint as a negative character trait, but, honestly, kudos to him for recognizing he can’t be the kind of father this kid deserves and not trying to force the issue).
-The son and mother are talking about how to handle this new informationResult? The son is going to voluntarily terminate his parental rights, which in most states can be done within a certain period of time after an adjudication of paternity with little to no penalty. And, as she is not a party to the case in a legal sense, the LW has no standing in the juvenile court to intervene and object. So she will lose any legal visitation rights (or any legal relationship, period, really), and then it’ll feel like a gut punch, and it will lead to resentment and more grief and pain.
Bittergaymark- Why the bitterness toward my son? Why on earth would I tell him that? It’s not as if he has a bunch of kids with various women. This is his first child.
Guy Friday, that is honestly the best-case scenario for the little girl.
It will hurt Tiffani, but she doesn’t give a crap about anyone except herself and her son, so who cares.
while Guy Friday’s scenario is the best case scenario NOW… let’s remember that this nonsense has just stripped the kid from any possible social security payments as the child of a deceased parent.
I’m not advocating fraud, but I am saying that the OPs desire to get to the truth took money out of the pocket of a single mom. And the son/father of the child is no more able to take care of the child than he was a month ago.
You basically took a few hundred dollars out of the pocket of this woman and gave her nothing in return. I doubt your son is going to fulfill his obligation and I see no sign that you are going to provide any financial support.
Good job. Like taking candy, diapers, food, away from a baby.
Wow! So much bitterness toward my son. I’m well aware that he has made mistakes but he’s really trying to get his life back on track. I raised him better than this. A lot of his problems are the result of the friends he has chose through the years. They have taken him down a self destructive path that has landed him in jail more than once. I can see the determination in him to change though. It’s been hard on him to find a place of employment due to his record, and partly due to his tattoos (he’s covered in them, except for his face). This makes it hard to find honest work. I’m trying my best to work on him and to help him make better choices. Everyone deserves a second chance. I really feel like his daughter can help him become the man I know he can be. He does want to be a father, I think he’s in a state of denial at the moment. It’s true that he could have fathered more kids that I’m unaware of but I’m going to have to trust that there isn’t. Deep down, my son is a good guy.
Oh man, this really all sounds like wishful thinking on your part, and trying to make people fit into roles you want them to fit in, to benefit your personal agenda. This really isn’t right, Tiffani. These people are adults, and your meddling isn’t wanted or helping.
PS… My cousin is a lifelong drug addict who has never had steady employment. He was walking down the street this summer and a roofing crew asked him if he wanted to work. He said yes, and has been roofing, in the summer, in Florida. If you’re determined to work, there’s work.
Frankly, it astounds me that this view of mine is even vaguely controversial.
I can’t speak for other people, but personally I don’t like to advocate for forced sterilization, because let’s be honest here: the times when people call for it tend to be in response to people who are poor. I’m not saying you specifically mean it that way, but by and large if the person in question is rich and a crappy parent very few people would advocate for a vasectomy/tubal ligation no matter what he/she did. If population control arguments were more egalitarian, I suspect people wouldn’t be as offended by them.
