Because I wanted different viewpoints from outside perspective.

Ha ha.

I think the people who are questioning Tom’s concern for his wife are every bit as out of line as anyone who is unconcerned about the woman’s feelings in such a situation. (And by the way, I am absolutely not unconcerned about the wife’s feelings, I just don’t think they are the sole and only factor to consider in making a decision). I think his reluctance in his initial question were solely due to a lack of information. Before this discussion, while I was certainly aware that babies could come three weeks early, or earlier, I had absolutely no idea that this was a common event. In fact, I thought it was relatively rare. The comments from you here have taught me that this is not true and I am sure they have educated Tom as well, witness his saying that he had decided to skip the wedding. By writing in here he was doing exactly what he should do which was to take advice and learn. What happens? Several of you decide to accuse him of being an insensitive, selfish bastard. (In part because he said he felt sad about having to miss his brother’s wedding, which is completely ridiculous – of course, he feels sad about having to miss it!) Those who have said that are being terribly unfair.

I do continue to believe that, while not the only factor, the odds are relevant and it’s not true that it doesn’t matter whether the chances are 1% or 90% the only consideration is how the woman feels. If the chances were one in a million, then I think that she would be unreasonable to want him to miss his brother’s wedding just in case that one in a million shot came true and I would hope most people would agree with me even though if that one in a million shot came through it would be very bad. Obviously, the chances are far, far higher than that and that is why the decision is different. I recently had an angiogram and the cardiologist made sure that I was aware that there was a 0.1% chance of dying of a stroke as a result of the procedure. I was willing to take that risk (and however bad missing your child’s birth would be, I think most people would agree that dying is worse). However, if he had told me the chance was 10% I would have had a different decision.

You say it is “disappointing” that men don’t understand how women feel, but it is little wonder if every time they ask a question they get attacked or told they “just don’t understand what it’s like for a woman” (even though no commenter on here seems to think she might have difficulty understanding a man’s – a lot of you weighed in quite confidently when I talked about my ED issues and I am sure you would have been quite irritated if I had responded by criticizing you for “not being able to understand”