Update: “Feeling Dragged Down” Responds

It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing today. After the jump, we hear from “Feeling Dragged Down,” a young woman who was afraid to dump her boyfriend because he was bipolar and super depressed after a job loss and a series of bad luck incidents. “I would feel so guilty breaking up with him right now, but I’m also feeling really bogged down staying in this relationship that isn’t working.” After the jump, find out if she’s still with him and how she’s doing today.

I wrote a few weeks ago because I couldn’t figure out how to end things with a guy that was bipolar and super depressed. I did break up with him pretty shortly after that, and it was mostly painless and easy. Turns out he really didn’t have very strong feelings for me even though he was venting to me about everything that was going wrong, and he’s actually really hung up on another girl that he’s known for years. He’s moving back home this week since he can’t afford his apartment, and he’s actually kind of looking forward to it because he’ll be closer to her, and he found a job there and is going to take some classes at the community college. This is kind of weird to say since I wanted to break up with him so badly a few weeks ago, but it made me a little sad to hear how excited he is about her, and I felt like it was a little insensitive on his part. I’m just going to forget it though, and we probably aren’t going to be keeping in touch for now.

Better news is that I have a date this week!

Dude was seriously manipulating you when you were together and is manipulating you in your breakup, too. So glad you moved on and have a date lined up already. Onward and upward!

If you’re someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too. Email me at wendy@dearwendy.com with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.


  1. awendybird says:

    It’s too bad that you wasted time feeling bad for him, but I’m glad it all worked out. Hope the date goes well!!

  2. WatersEdge says:

    Anyone who would tell you how excited he is about his new potential love interest is nobody you want in your life. I agree that not talking to him for a while is best!

    1. ArtsyGirly says:

      Talk about shady behavior. As was said by a lot of the responders – this guy is looking at you to be this therapist and not his GF. Good luck with moving on. He is now someone else’s problem.

  3. awendybird says:

    It’s too bad you wasted time feeling bad for him, but I’m glad you went through with it and it was painless. Good luck on the date!

  4. Lexington says:

    Yeah, dude sounds like a jerk. I would definitely stay away from him as long as possible, preferably forever.

  5. Good for you. Life is a one helluva ride with or without passengers.

  6. Oh I love that we get the updates so quickly – makes it a lot easier to remember the story and the advice!

  7. I wonder if he was just talking up that other girl to hurt LW. Or maybe it was an act of bravado to pretend like he wasn’t so hurt. Immature either way, but still possible.

    1. TheOtherMe2011 says:

      I thought so too, but then again, he seemed to really enjoy feeling sorry for himself and vent to her constantly.

  8. I think it’s normal that she feels a bit rejected. Sure, maybe it’s a little egotistical, but I’ve sorta been in the same shoes. You just get used to the idea of somebody really wanting you, so even if you don’t want them, you’re kinda left thing “huh!” when you realize they don’t want you anymore. It’s just because we naturally like to feel as though we’re important.

    It’s good that she doesn’t plan on keeping in touch, best to leave the past in the past. I wish her luck with her date 🙂 Hope she has a ton of fun!

    1. **thinking – sorry I can’t spell today 🙂

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