It’s time again for “Dear Wendy Updates,” a feature where people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing now. Today we hear from “Not Sick of Kissing,” who wrote in a couple weeks ago saying that fr the past few months her boyfriend refused to kiss her for fear of getting sick after she caught a cold back in June and passed it to him. “Fast forward to now, September,” she wrote, “and he is no longer sick but he still will not kiss me. He admitted that he’s afraid of getting sick again and that’s why he avoids it. […] I miss kissing him, and I’m tired of still doing sexual things without kissing. I want the foreplay, but there’s none.” Keep reading to see if things have improved or if she’s moved on yet.
We still don’t kiss as often as before, but I think we’ve come to a good compromise for the time-being and I’m happy with it. Even as frustrating as it was not kissing, in a way it has brought some good as well. I feel like there’s a whole lot more meaning when we kiss now, and it makes me as giddy as when we were in the first few months of the relationship. It’s a nice feeling. We’re happy where we are right now.
Thank you again.
Ok, but I’m curious – did he explain why he stopped kissing you? I know he said it was because he was afraid of getting sick, but that was a bullshit excuse; did he ever tell you the real reason? Was there any explanation at all? Why did he suddenly feel like it was ok to start kissing you again? And why is it less kissing now than before? I get the impression he’s giving you the bare minimum to keep you with him but not addressing the underlying cause of his not wanting to kiss you. Until that underlying cause is dealt with, I worry that it’s only a matter of time before the kisses stop again. I think you know this on some level or you wouldn’t call this a “compromise” that you are happy with “for the time-being.”
If you’re someone I’ve given advice to in the past, I’d love to hear from you, too. Email me at email@example.com with a link to the original post, and let me know whether you followed the advice and how you’re doing now.
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