Cleopatra_30
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It’s wedding season! Congrats 😀
@veritek33 wooo! Soo cool 🙂 Is the wedding ceremony going to be this year then? So nice when the wedding planning is so simple and easy to do.
I took part in my first bachelorette this past weekend, it was super low key and fun. I can appreciate though the time taken to organize as it was a handful working with 4 other ladies/friends of the bride who were all trying to make it a fun event and wanting to do everything under the sun.
I am a big weather buff, as much as I enjoy learning about them, they are one force of nature to be respected. Glad you are all safe, hope that the community can come together and help one another.
I am so busy Saturday, I have a running race in the morning, then helping plan a friends bridal party (which by the way I am just a guest at the wedding, is it normal to bring in guests to help plan a bridal shower?), and then my BF and I are going to a beerfest in the city to top the day off. Glad too cause after that first part of the day I am gonna need a drink 😛
@veritek33 I laugh at the bed upgrade as I am having the same issue with my BF. We aren’t living together yet, but we both have Queens, which we thought would be enough room, and it really isn’t. We have resorted to having two separate duvets so we don’t accidentally hog the one on his bed. I got that from Germany, a school acquaintance lives there and posted how they typically use a duvet for each person in bed. That has helped, but we still have the issue of limbs getting in the way haha
@Veritek33 a brunch wedding would be fun! I personally love breakfast and brunch meals, so that is something to think about haha So exciting though! The anticipating of that moment he chooses would kill me though, hence why I am low key for future engagement that it would be a verbal agreement, get the ring(s) and be done with it!
After having attended a few wedding last year with my BF (and looks like again this year for us), I asked him what kind of wedding, if any at all, he would want (not with me, just in general). He stated that he would want something similar to his friends wedding that happened last year. It was a 60 person intimate wedding, with a short and sweet ceremony, and then a fun dance party and dinner after. Whereas myself a civil ceremony at a city hall would be my choice, but have always maintained that if the other person wants more I would be flexible.
We personally haven’t talked about marriage directly between us, some fleeting comments have been made about rings etc, he knows my ideal gem (amethyst). But there is so much happening in the next couple years that marriage hasn’t been on my short term thoughts, and I don’t have a timeline for it mainly since it isn’t a necessity for me personally. I have been thinking more lately on what he wants because I will be going to school in the fall, and still not sure if he is coming with me to live (depends on his work situation). Then after that…not sure. They are more like long term timelines I don’t know, and I want to know where he sits on them so I know I am not left to hang. Although I know we wouldn’t do that, I want clarity, assurance and confidence there really is long term potential with us.
I personally wont be investing in a house for a very long time, I have school to finish, getting a solid job and even then I am not sure if where I am at for school is where I want to live forever. I’de rather put the money down when I know I have more stability job wise and relationship wise.
My friend on other other hand has been living at home with minimal expenses to save up for a house, whether she is with someone or not, she wants to get one. She is pretty hard pressed that the house will be her forever home as she wants a family soon (with someone but barely hit a year yet). I personally think it is a bad idea to get one in her timeline mainly because she intends to find work elsewhere and ultimately doesn’t seem to have that location stability to keep her in our hometown.
Oh damn @TheLadyE I have a super unique name as well and generally use egyptian themed usernames to keep me low key and not obvious. I am not sure I would be comfortable either having my name out there like that. Especially with so many avenues to find people these days. I had Tinder way back and it connected to FB, and so I had my name there, and when I am in a new city or one that I have no connections to not so much a big deal. But when it is one I grew up in having my name out there makes it hard to miss.
So my 2 cents as I had a big money problem and talk with my BF early in our relationship. I was having problems managing my money and paying off my CC. He helped me and was understanding of my plight. We do cheap night outs for our dates, and I am open with him for what trips and stuff are within my budget. We have created a spreadsheet (he is an engineer if that makes sense :P) for when we do trips together and costs are then split afterwards. Or if one person covers groceries for the weekend, or if we buy someone supplements or items and they need to pay me or him back, we have it recorded.
We also make the same amount, but I am worse at money management (def getting better!) than him, he saves a lot and is very frugal, without it being obnoxious mind you.
In your scenario, he offered to pay for the higher end meal because he suggested it and can afford to do so with his raise. He took the onus and responsibility for the higher cost meal and offered it. Rather than saying lets do the chefs choice and split, or expect you to pay when it is way out of your budget.
I think his spending habits shouldn’t concern you until it starts impacting your time together (ie he can’t split bills anymore or is having you pay more often than him etc). Or if you two are saving to buy a place or move in, which yes you would both need to manage and collaboratively work to save money.
Ultimately, yes you do not know what he makes, but if he isn’t in dire straights then his offer to pay for the higher end meal or date night out when he financially can, shouldn’t be a huge deal. If you are really concerned maybe sit down with him and say that you want to make sure date nights are fair moving forward as you don’t want to go out to places that you/he can’t afford. When splitting expenses ideally equal, or based on your income separately (ie if he makes more he pays for maybe 60% and you 40% of bills and expenses). Whatever that ratio is.
Yup, lesson learned! Won’t have to deal with him any longer after this blocking.
Ya I see that now after his most recent message that he has taken that as me ‘opening the door,’ which I most certainly had not intended or wanted. I was very curt in all my responses hoping he would take the hint I am not interested in long drawn out conversation. But he came back again last night.
A bit off topic, just need to vent. I had my old manager from when I worked at a pizza place during University (4 years ago now), contact me out of the blue on FB last month. We are not friends on FB, and he sent a wave, so instead of it going to ‘message requests,’ It was on my main message page. So I saw it right away instead of missing it as one would.
We had a quick couple messages exchanging formalities. Then a week later he messaged me again and stated how he thought I was a stunner, and always wanted to let me know outside of our ‘professional’ relationship. Thanked him and asked why he was telling me this. He said no reason. Then he messaged me again, and apologized saying he was in a bad place mentally, was reminiscing (whatever that means) and apologized for being awkward. Told him fine, I am putting it behind me.
Lo and behold last night (he always messages me at the wee hours of the morning), he messaged me again and pulled an ‘I need a human connection, I am having a hard time right now.’ I am at my wits end. He made me feel so uncomfortable after his compliment to me and then the proceeding message. This is just annoying. I kindly told him that I can appreciate your struggles right now but I am not the person to go to for that. I am planning to block him after he responds and closes this conversation, or if he tries to keep it open I will just block. I would get anxious when I would see he was on FB messenger wondering if he was gonna message me again and what he was going to tell me next that would put me in this position of ‘a shoulder to lean on,’ with a person I barely know.
I never had a friendship with him while working there, never connected with him on FB after I left. It was strictly professional. We hadn’t even talked the entire 4 years I have been gone. So it is annoying that he is using me as a soundboard for his mental health conflicts. I heard of some of his struggles through my co workers, and he honestly wasn’t the greatest manager as he lashed out to several of the female employees while there, amongst other unprofessional things.
Vent done.
