Copa

Yeah, her face didn’t move. I haven’t spent any real amount of time on her channel, but videos scrutinizing procedures celebs may or may not have done doesn’t sit the best with me. I’ve watched a few along those lines on TikTok. It’s unfortunate and problematic that so many unattainable standards of beauty start with celebs who have work done, but at the same time it’s hard for me to not feel a bit for those same people who are publicly scrutinized or torn apart in magazines, online, on TV, etc. for aging or gaining weight or whatever. Seems like a crappy vicious cycle to me and I’d not be surprised if many celebs have a lot of body image issues. My dad was pretty strict growing up and one thing he absolutely detested were women’s magazines. Like, HATED any time he saw me or my sister flipping through one. I didn’t understand why then, but I think I do now. It’s all super messed up.

So yeah, obviously, the patriarchy plays a huge role. Just look at how we talk about men who go grey as they age vs. women. Silver fox vs. “she’s so brave!” comments. There is a very real double standard. I’ve read/heard people say that men age better, but I disagree — they’re just “allowed” to age/look older.

I can’t speak for everyone, though, but I’m not out here trying to look a decade younger than I am. Like I said, I want to look refreshed/not tired.

As for body type, I have thin privilege and have most of my life, but I spent a few years of my 20s about 30 lbs heavier than I am now. I am petite, so this was a lot on my frame. I can 100% say I was treated differently — mostly by men — when I was heavier. (I assume something similar happens with aging, but am not there yet in my own like so cannot speak to it.) The diet industry is also, like, an $80 billion industry that preys on/profits off of our insecurities. (I don’t know as much about the beauty industry, but it, too, profits off of us in the same way.) Society’s ideal body type changes, too. When I was in high school, we glorified the rail thin celebrities while young women like Hilary Duff were called fat by the media… fast forward to a few years ago and Hilary Duff blew up the internet for how great her butt looked in a dress on set because that’s “in” these days.

So yeah, we can bank on “not being enough” always being in style.

• This reply was modified 2 years, 9 months ago by Copa.

My sister and I have reached a kind of awkward point where people are surprised our age gap is only two years. We’ve gotten several comments in the past couple years. (Which, again, people could stand to think through their commentary before speaking.) I think genetics play a big role in things like skin and how we age and no amount of retinol or sunscreen can save us from that, but when I look at me and my sister, I think I’m the one who does a better job with the things within my control. I’m probably the bigger drinker, though.

My friend with the most beautiful, most flawless skin, it’s totally genetic. Her mom also has beautiful, flawless skin and claims her secret is to never wash her face. Like her mom, my friend does nothing and her skin is, like, RADIANT. One time I visited her and had forgotten my face lotion, so asked if she had some. She handed me some heavily scented, purple Bath & Body Works type stuff that I’m scared to put on my face. I think she should at least be using sunscreen (she lives in FL but it’s not something she does habitually unless she’ll be laying out), but I also think she will always have beautiful skin like her mom regardless.

I’m curious why anyone doing fillers/Botox should be prepared to get a full facelift. I thought both were temporary and fillers (at least certain kinds) naturally dissolve. (Not sure what happens to Botox when it wears off.)

I have a fair number of friends already doing Botox, most of whom are early- to mid-30s and doing it preventatively. I’ve given not much thought at all to Botox, though if someone invited me to a Botox party, I’d go. Ha. I’ve given a little thought to fillers to give volume back to the under eye area/diminish dark circles. But not enough thought to actually go see a board certified cosmetic dermatologist and ask them what they recommend. I like the idea of a filler like Sculptra, which stimulates your body to produce its own collagen, but who knows if I’d be a good candidate for that. Other than dark under eye circles, I’m pretty okay with my looks. And the dark circles aren’t so bad that I feel actively self-conscious or anything, but it’d be nice to not look tired all the time.

I get sorta regular bikini waxes at European Wax Center (it’s a chain here, not sure if it’s national). I’m lax about it in the winter, but it’s nice for summer or before a vacation… swimsuit occasions, basically. I’m sure there are nicer salons for this, but this one works for me. I have sensitive skin, so the immediate result is a red bikini area, but irritation/inflammation pretty goes down quickly. Will never go back to shaving, which was more irritating for me, particularly if I had, for instance, several days in a row where I’d be in a swimsuit. I get an ingrown hair every now and then, but try my best to use the products I own to prevent them.

So I like the La Roche Posay balm so far. I’ve used it the past few nights in a row and feel like it’s helping with redness, which I regularly deal with to varying degrees. It’s super thick, heavier than what I am used to (though in all fairness I am applying pretty liberally) but not in a way that I find off-putting as someone who hates feeling like there’s product on her face. Going to finish the tube before deciding if I’d repurchase but so far so good.

The lash serum packaging said 3-4 weeks for visible results, so we’ll see on that front.

Yeah!! It was good sunscreen, just didn’t work for me. When we were in Hawaii a couple years ago, we bought some of the local eco-friendly stuff. The brand is Ocean Potion. I had a rash that started mild and looked a little worse every day. I thought it was a reaction to wearing a wetsuit for some reason, but realized it was the sunscreen on maybe the second to last day of our trip. It continued to get worse before it got better so within a day or so of coming home, I was covered in hives everywhere but my face and learned online I was not alone. The boyfriend fared fine so I may have particularly sensitive skin.