Copa
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On the bright side, this is my first summer (as an independent adult living on her own) with central air. I’ve otherwise gotten by with fans and, in some apartments, inefficient window/wall units.
@shakeourtree I’ve read good reviews of A&E curvy mom jeans. Haven’t tried them myself but probably will order some eventually. And Abercrombie.
And yeah, Chicago has been HOT already. Most years it’s basically not even consistently warm until this point in June, but this year we’ve already seen a handful of 90+ degree days. Last year, I believe we set a record for days in the 90s and above and I bet we’ll break that this year at the rate we’re going. I like summer, but I HATE high heat/humidity. I wore a maxi skirt to an outdoor brunch a few weekends ago and was dying.
Ha, so I’ve actually noticed that some of the style influencers or whatever that I follow on social media, who are probably around my age, are shopping at Abercrombie again! And American Eagle. These stores were cool when I was in high school and I think may be coming back around. When I was a college freshman and sophomore, I wore this one denim mini skirt basically every time I went out to parties and I keep seeing similar skirts in storefronts. Mine was from Hollister and I loved it.
And the weight thing… I’ll catch myself getting hung up on my weight when I actually don’t think it’s the best indicator of progress (for me). I’m more concerned with how things fit, how I look, and how I feel, but will hop on the scale occasionally to see where I’m at. I should probably take measurements, tbh, but I don’t. For a long time, I was at the same weight I was at in my mid-20s but I was a dress size smaller thanks to strength training.
*raises hand*
I also have a butt and I think this makes my ratios “off” for what most retailers sell. I constantly have issues with pants that fit at the waist, but will be too tight in the butt/thighs… or pants that fit the butt/thighs and are gaping at the waist. It’s super frustrating so I will keep the brands you recommended in mind since I’ve been looking for 1-2 new pairs. I’m willing to splurge if it means a good fit. I finally found a pair of cutoff denim shorts that fit appropriately this spring after looking for several years.
As an aside, I’d gained some weight during COVID and have been trying to improve the habits that I let slide to bring my weight back down. I don’t weigh myself too often, but have noticed physical changes that aren’t weight-related. I am feeling pretty good about it and more confident in my appearance again, which has been nice.
If anyone is in the market for a new sunscreen, I jumped on the Supergoop bandwagon and I really like it. I’ve been noticing that my go-to sunscreens weren’t great for my dry skin. When we went to Utah in April, for instance, I noticed that my skin (especially on my face) was basically flaking off anytime I reapplied and then I’d be dealing with little clumps of dried skin mixed with sunscreen and not really knowing if I’d applied thoroughly. Anyway. I like their Glowscreen for under make-up (the Unseen Sunscreen is also great for this, has the texture of a primer and probably the better option for anyone who doesn’t have dry skin) and even my boyfriend noticed their everyday full body sunscreen (Play) had a nicer, easier application.
My company just announced our first indoor event (an annual December conference). Subject to change if need be, but the way they’re phrasing it feels more certain/confident and therefore like a concrete step toward normalcy. We’re hoping to have an outdoor event in September to bring people together face-to-face. I’m starting to think fall will really be our return to the office, but every time I’ve speculated about returning, I’m wrong.
Yeah, I’m told my office had Mad Men vibes until like 10 years ago. The ED I actually generally like but he makes weird jokes(???) and comments about clothes/appearance. I’ve heard it directed toward other women in the office as well. At first I kinda laughed it off when it was about me but eventually just started giving him a bored stare as a response. Haven’t had to deal with it in awhile but I know he’s paying attention to attire. But anyway. I’m sure I’m the only one who thought about my leggings past the moment it happened.
I’m wearing a nice blouse and my hair/make-up is done, which is my norm for any days I am on camera. I didn’t bother with a blazer today cause I get warm sitting in a room with skylights. My boss and a couple other coworkers were in suits (at least on top), which I would’ve worn had this been an in-person meeting. I noticed another coworker joined the meeting in a very casual t-shirt, turned his camera off, and when he came back he had thrown on some kind of pullover. I know I’m not the only one who gets dressed from the waist up only — I’ve seen an older male coworker’s pajama pants at this point — but I still felt kind of embarrassed. Our executive director wasn’t on yet when this happened but he’s commented on my work attire in the past (never to say I’m dressed inappropriately, but very weird and tiresome commentary) so I feel under scrutiny for what I wear to work meetings… even via Zoom.
So we’re what? Not quite a year-and-a-half into WFH? Today I had my first slip-up with getting up with my camera on and revealed I only get dressed from the waist up. A few coworkers saw my leggings, which I know shouldn’t be a big deal, but I feel a bit embarrassed. It was a Zoom that we eventually opened up to quite a few people outside the organization so I’m glad it happened before the bigger meeting.
“The reason why I get annoyed sometimes is that the dog really loves me and as a result sleeps on my legs, near me etc and that causes an issue when I need some space in bed.”
So, this was my boyfriend’s issue with my dog. I’m a bad sleeper, I toss and turn. He sleeps like a vampire, so the dog would always sleep on or up against his legs, but my boyfriend was uncomfortable at night/his sleep was disrupted with a nearly 40lb fluffball in his space. He told me, and I was a bit sad to give the dog the boot at night, but I understood and it was fine. It wasn’t and never became a point of resentment, but for you, the dog issue sounds like the tip of the iceberg.
With more context, I think your boyfriend sounds like a jerk. Equal in partnerships doesn’t always look like 50/50 but you guys both seem to be keeping score. Couples counseling really does seem like the only potential solution here, but yes, it doesn’t sound like this is going to work.
So I got the impression this is about more than just the dog…? LW says her fiance doesn’t like that LW controls things/makes unilateral decisions. So, I mean, ARE you this way LW? You don’t refute it but you also don’t give any other examples. I assumed there are bigger issues at play than just a dog in the bed. (And if this is not objectively true, it’s problematic that he thinks this about you.) And yes, the comments about how you’re essentially planning to be horrible during pregnancy are odd. You don’t sound compatible or like good partners to one another.
I love my dog and we’re probably weirdly attached to each other. I got him as a puppy before I met my now-boyfriend, so he used to sleep in my bed with me. When the boyfriend used to sleep over at my place, he didn’t complain about the dog in my bed. When we moved in together last fall, he said it was uncomfortable for him for a permanent sleeping arrangement. The dog now sleeps in his own bed. We got there without any drama.
I just got caught up on this threat. While I generally agree with everyone, these are the exact same comments that were made, what — a year and a half ago? I really think Robert needs to first acknowledge there’s a good deal of inner work to be done, beliefs that need to be challenged, and find a therapist he meshes with. And then stick with it long enough to do that work, which won’t/can’t happen if there’s no genuine acknowledgement that something needs work, and honestly? I’m not really sure there is. I say this as kindly as is possible and as someone who doesn’t think she would’ve met a nice, good guy online without the help of a therapist (who really helped me over the course of several years with mindset and figuring out what I really wanted out of my relationships). I hope you are able to find a therapist that offers a variety of payment options, Robert. I know it can be expensive if you do not have insurance but I believe many offers ways to make their services affordable (e.g., sliding scale fees).
