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So my boyfriend’s stepdad emailed my boyfriend and his siblings last night offering to pay their airfare down to Florida to surprise their mom for her birthday later this summer. And I’m here rolling my eyes like WHY? It’s a nice thought, sure, but is that necessary *this year*? They’re flying to their Florida house for a week for her birthday, and if they NEED to surprise her, why can’t they all just stay HERE where everyone but his sister lives to minimize the risk? I take calculated risks here and there — like driving to another state to see my own parents — but his mom and stepdad are repeatedly doing things lately that make me kind of uncomfortable. I knew they were getting together for Fourth of July in their backyard but assumed it was family BBQ. I learned when I got home that they’d thrown a legit party that exceeded the gathering limits. And I’m sitting here frustrated that they can’t even follow the guidelines or travel between their homes less. His stepdad is higher risk FFS.
Oh and on the subject of weddings, I was supposed to be in Portland for a cousin’s wedding this week, but obviously that’s changed. They’re now doing a socially distanced, immediate family only, backyard wedding officiated by my cousin’s sister. But they will be live streaming it, so I will be “going” to that.
@Fyodor I’m so sorry for your loss and pain. Losing a parent would be difficult under the most “normal” circumstances, but during COVID? I can’t imagine. I hope you are taking good care of yourself and your family is in my thoughts.
I spent last week visiting my parents in their state. Took as many precautions as I was able before heading out that way, but still wondered if it was enough. It was very nice to be home. Super easy to socially distance in that area and people were taking it seriously. The week flew by and normally I’m relieved to leave and get back to my life, but this time I was sad. The drive home was fairly miserable with holiday traffic and when I got back to my boyfriend’s I lost my shit while unpacking. I don’t know when it’ll be okay to go back or when I’ll see my parents again and I’m sad they both live alone during this time.
Also, on a more humorous note, I feel like my socializing skills have significantly regressed. I have my boyfriend for company, so it’s not like I’ve been totally alone, but still more or less keeping to ourselves over here and I’ve found myself in a few “social” situations where I’ve noticed myself being REALLY awkward in ways I don’t think I was before. So there’s that.
LOL @Fyodor. That’d actually be hilarious.
To his mom’s credit, she’s never said anything direct to me about kids. But she very much seems to think everyone wants what she wanted in life (marriage and kids) and has made some comments like, “Oh, X is always different when they’re your own kids.” I’m not sure how she’d react to hear that kids are not a definite for me/us. Anyway, I generally like her a lot but after a glass of wine she’ll start making thinly veiled comments about marriage and generally speaking, more and more people ask me about what’s next when I’m just trying to enjoy each stage as it comes. We saw his brother and SIL on Saturday for a BBQ and his SIL and I were laughing about it a little and SIL joked that she thinks the boyfriend’s mom spends 23 hours of her day thinking about our potential wedding.
@MG I sometimes have to drive out that way for work — our HQ is in Springfield and sometimes we’ll have stuff going on in STL even — and that drive is always interesting to me because you can just tell by the signs on the road (or flags in your case) that things are getting more and more conservative as you get closer to the bible belt.
I made it a couple states over to see my parents and so far so good. Tested negative before coming out this way. My parents no longer live together so I’m staying with my mom. Both parents are taking COVID seriously, but my dad seems a little more concerned about it. So I’ve seen him outdoors only at this point. Anyway, it’s so far been a refreshing break from the city and just nice to be home.
Would not have even occurred to me that there may be a venue “shortage.” I’m not concerned about it whatsoever but I’m starting to feel a lot of pressure from BG’s family (his mom mostly) to get married and have her grandkids. I’d like to get married but don’t feel like I’m in any huge rush, and I’m on the fence about kids. BG knows both of these things, we’ve discussed both subjects, and is okay with it… but as the woman in the relationship I feel like I’m the one on the receiving end of all the nosey questions. My parents have never put any pressure on me to date, settle down, procreate, whatever so this is pretty new to me and it’s honestly making me pretty anxious.
I’d also ignore her. A LOT of people have had their wedding plans altered because of COVID. Some people’s plans have been more F’ed than others. But all of them have figured out how to move past their disappointment, either by getting married however they can and planning a party for a later date or simply postponing their full event until next year. It’s ok to be disappointed. But she’s looking for a reaction and she’ll hopefully stop if people stop giving it to her.
My boyfriend’s mom was apparently telling my boyfriend recently that she’s very worried all wedding venues are going to be filled up through 2022 with the number of people needing to push their weddings out, and what if we want to get married in a year or two and everything’s booked up!? Which made me laugh aloud. I told him I have a feeling his mom would be horrified by my more casual idea of what a wedding can look like.
As a side note, one of my coworkers was originally supposed to get married in early May. That pretty quickly was no longer an option for them, and in late March they rebooked at the same venue for an early August date. The venue recently came back and said NOPE, early August won’t work after all, sorry. So they just booked another venue for that same early August date, and had to alter the original guest list as well as the logistics for other wedding events they’d planned (welcome drinks, farewell brunch). Neither of their families are from the area and I’m kind of surprised, given how seriously she’s taken COVID, that she’s still moving forward with what will be a destination wedding for the vast majority of guests. At this point I think the courthouse option with a reception planned for maybe 2021 would’ve been easier than replanning the event three times.
You’re being more gracious than I’d be. Is there a reason she can’t actually get married right now? Like is a courthouse ceremony not an option where she lives? Because if all she wants is to get married, it seems to me she should be able to have some kind of Plan B wedding. I’d probably be telling her bluntly she can still get legally married now and have a celebration more in line with what she was hoping for later. A LOT of people are doing that right now.
I’m going to visit my parents next week in another state. Both my area and theirs are doing pretty well and everyone feels fine about it. Looking into getting tested before I head out that way, too, as an extra precaution. This may be hypocritical since I myself am planning a visit home, but the week after my boyfriend’s sister, BIL, and their three kids are coming to visit… but they are coming from a southern state where cases are surging and it makes me kind of uncomfortable.
@ktfran I’ve heard through coworkers in Springfield that the areas of IL near the MO border have a VERY different perspective on this whole thing. Like, a lot of them pride themselves on not wearing masks.
Yeahhh, when I go back to work initially, I assume it’s not going to be business as usual and plan to wear jeans if I feel like it, even though it’s not really our norm. All in-person events and meetings have been canceled or moved to an online format through September for now, though we’re aware that rule may be extended. I don’t see a point in getting “outward facing ready” if it’s just going to be me and like three other coworkers in the office on any given day. Like I’m not going to hang out in a blazer just because.
I had my first hair cut in like… 7-8 months last night and chopped maybe 4-5 inches off. My hair stylist said that she noticed more short-haired women who used to come in every few weeks thinking they’ll try to work with the length and keeping growing it out a bit, whereas those of us who have longer hair were more likely to be like “omg get this hair off my head.” I fell pretty squarely into the latter category. Anyway, felt very safe there. They were being cautious and even had signs up saying that there were extra levels of precaution they could take (e.g., face guards) by request.
I second getting a couple of nice jackets to throw on top of whatever. I work in the legal industry, though not at a firm, and we’re business casual, I’d say. Jeans are okay on some days but not all. But we have a fair number of meetings and events with attorneys in our offices and I keep a couple blazers at work and on days I need to look a bit more dressed up plan my outfit underneath to look nice with one of the blazers and just throw it on.
But I feel ya! I really felt this past winter that I needed a pretty major style upgrade for summer work clothes. It’s cold like 8-9 months of the year where I live so I feel confident in my cold weather work attire. Less so my warm weather attire. But with COVID, seems like my summer work clothes won’t really matter this year.
