hfantods

Could I bring up a money discussion again? While the immediate “problem” has (I don’t think there’s a problem) been resolved there’s something nagging at me.

My bf comes back today! We wanted to go out for a la carte sushi since he’s been craving it. In my mind this was just a night out although celebrating that he was back. I offered to make a reservation. The restaurant has a pricy “chef’s choice” that requires a reservation in particular. In my head I was actually like hahaha we’ve never spent that much on dinner. Last night on video call I was just confirming the plans. I said “of course we are not getting the chef’s choice hahaha” and then he said he was hoping to celebrate his bonus and treat me.

My immediate response (on video call ugh) wasn’t exactly gracious. I think I was surprised and maybe embarrassed. I was confused. Generally I don’t like to feel unequal. Also if he weren’t treating I wouldn’t feel comfortable spending that much and that also made me feel bad. Also I sort of forgot about his bonus which he mentioned in a call a couple weeks ago.

We talked and it’s all good. We are going to do it and we are excited.

But I guess the money thing… deep down I think he should save more of it. We do have different spending habits. He will go to the more upscale grocery store (not Whole Foods but the non discount one) and doesn’t really look for deals. I am the reverse. But! I don’t know how much he makes and of course it is his money. He gets certain points at the grocery store too so it works for him?

I have brought up that for me I make sure to pay off my credit card every month and he agreed.

I guess just if and when we move in, how will we handle this? I don’t think this is insurmountable for us but would require some conversation. I am curious how you have handled different spending habits?

Congrats K!!!! Sounds beautiful.

How did your FaceTime go, Copa? For the most part it sounded like a miscommunication (mostly from his end) but something your relationship can grow from. It sucks that your traveling doesn’t align. Enjoy your trip!!

I am curious —- for people who like to be surprised by small gifts, how do you express that to your SO without it being an “ask”? Not necessarily applicable to my relationship but just thinking about it now.

Can I just really TMI for a sec? My boyfriend is away for two weeks each month for the next 5-6 months for work. So happens my period is timed up to start every time he comes back. Wonderful timing!!!

I have my Toastmasters meetings Thursdays so I’ve already asked if we could celebrate on the weekend and he said “Yeah, I figured” in a nice way haha. His parents actually got him/us symphony tickets that weekend for Christmas so I guess that is our date and we will go out for dinner before.

Last year I asked for a card which he knocked out of the park 🙂 We went to the local planetarium which does a public thing every Wednesday and Valentine’s fell on a Wednesday last year. It’s nice to acknowledge but not a big thing for me.

Mmhmm a plus side to him having two weeks off is that even though I’m still stressed from work on a weeknight he is more relaxed and can stay over. I’m in a rush in the morning but it’s nice to get a feel of that.

Oh I’m sorry Ale. Once you said you were uncomfortable he should have handled it differently.

Those are lovely rings Ver!!

My mom has always worn her wedding band and only wears her engagement ring for special occasions as long as I remember. My sister does the same. I’m not sure if it’s cultural. All the women I know at work wear both. When the time comes, I kind of don’t want to wear a nice ring all the time! I’d like to wear just the band too.

Thanks ladies!! Maybe I will treat myaelf (as I am trying to budget and figure out where my money is going).