hfantods

Haha, I like your folks’ play by plays too.

@ver, hope your interview went well today! Fingers crossed 🙂 And yay, that sounds like a great date!

@copa, puppy!!! It feels like you and him are trying to keep in touch so there is still mutual interest. I don’t think this has to end in a fizzle unless you want it to. It’s sucky timing for essentially strangers meeting up via the internet, but if it’s “meant to be”, then one month shouldn’t affect it in the larger picture. Perhaps keep in light contact in October and then come November, pick it up again and then see how it goes. Easier said than done, obvs.

Thanks. Yeah, maybe it was the rush of hormones and everything. I definitely am not ready to be exclusive either. I do keep swiping and looking, nobody has really caught my eye, but I won’t feel so guilty for doing so. He’s been really understanding about everything so far and sent me a quick text this morning about something I mentioned in my text to him last night telling him I got home (unrelated to all this).

I had a fourth date with Mining Guy. I went in still not sure if I liked him or not, but it was like a switch and suddenly I saw him as a whole person — personality, looks — and I realized I did like him, or at least wanted to continue seeing him.

So we had a good dinner date and it was all going well. We were lying on his bed and he said something like “I like where this is going” or “I like what we’re doing.” And then I don’t know what happened, I verbal vomited, “Are we giving this a go?”. He said “I need some time on that.” And I did feel hurt, initially, but also I realized what I said. I did not go into this date wanting to ask him if he wanted to be exclusive. Heck, I didn’t know if I liked him or not. And then I actually told him that (the first part), and basically we agreed that we were going to do this date by date. He also said we didn’t have to put a label on it, which I think was meant to reassure me, but now typing it out, am I little hurt? I don’t know. It’s what I want. It’s only been four dates.

Later, I actually asked him, “Did I mess this up?” and he said no. And I said, “I don’t want to scare you away”, and he said he wasn’t scared away. He was really good about it. I know I shouldn’t say these things. Honestly, I don’t know when I became this insecure. Or it’s more like, I don’t usually verbalize my insecurities to other people but he makes me feel comfortable so that I feel that I can ask.

The date carried on and it ended well. He told me he likes me and likes spending time with me. I just feel so “crazy”. I realize I’m overthinking. I just need to let this go and enjoy what’s happening, wherever it might end up. I absolutely realize that in online dating, people are seeing other people, but for the first time, I felt that maybe he is seeing someone else. Which is OK because we aren’t “exclusive”. It’s as if because I better know I like him, suddenly I feel all these emotions, whereas before I had less skin in the game, per se.

I’m going away Thursday for five days and have something each night this week. So the earliest we see each other is next Monday, or, basically, in two weeks. It’s fine, but just sucky on timing.

I just don’t want to self-sabotage now and I needed to vent. Blaaaaaah.

Sounds like a great trip, @MissDre, and that your relationship continues to move in the right direction.

I found out that the guy I’ve been on a few dates with just got internet today (he recently moved). Which meant that he was streaming a movie off his data when I went to his place over the weekend (which he stopped when we went to do other things :)). If that isn’t modern romance, I don’t know what is, ha.

Lol she said after her husband/fiancé moves then she will call?? Missing the point! But it is sad that you’ve been growing apart, @copa

Things with Mining Guy (I’ve given him a name!) have been nice. I feel comfortable with him. Want to take this date by date though I want to keep seeing him which is good, haha. I guess my question is as follows. We’ve talked a lot here that when a guy comes on too strong at the beginning it’s a red flag. Mining Guy has told me a couple times during our dates that he likes me and likes spending time with me. He’s told me that I’m cute (k I feel weird typing that). He’s not being overbearing for me. Texts are really manageable.

I hate to admit as an independent woman that it’s flattering to hear, although I still take it with a grain of salt too. What is the difference between a guy expressing his feelings and the too much too soon red flag behaviour?

@Ale, I am so sorry to hear you’re feeling lonely. Giving you big hugs. While I think this is more serious and doing just trivial things won’t fix it, sometimes when I’m down I just think of a “treat yourself” moment a la Parks and Rec. Do things for you. I’ve never known “not lonely” “in a relationship” but it’s really pleasant spending time in a park with a good coffee and reading. And truly, you do not know what your ex is going through even if he’s putting on a happy face. And it doesn’t matter anyway. From what you’ve told us, he is a major asshole.

@TheLadyE, that is amazing!! I too would love to see your work when it’s available.

Have fun @Dre!

@TheHizzy, that sounds painful but yay?! Haha.

Ok the guy has planned second date really well and now I’m a little nervous. I kind of find second dates harder than first dates, because I generally have low expectations for the latter whereas there’s now more on the line for the second? It’s possible I won’t like him as much or vice versa. Anyway we’re going hiking in the afternoon followed by a local ribfest. Which also, ha, omg, how to be ladylike and eat ribs. I’m totally kidding (but kind of not).