Kate

And then a few years ago I was having other weird alarming issues that i honestly can’t remember right now, so I just stopped taking the pill. I don’t know if it’s really understood or recommended to have women taking it continuously for years in their 30s and 40s. Probably not the best option for everyone. An IUD might be better.

Since I went off it, my period came back heavier, more frequent, and with more mood issues / pms, but I haven’t experienced anything weird or scary. It’s like, at this point how does the risk of me actually getting pregnant compare with the risk of a serious health issue.

You are ok. To me this sounds more like you need to get treatment for anxiety or some other underlying condition, as opposed to having a problem tangibly with what happened that night. I think you should talk to a therapist about this and work on strategies to stop beating yourself up about something that happened 2 years ago and to get your anxiety controlled.

You were inexperienced and drank too much and did something you wouldn’t have done sober. You blacked out. Your drink wasn’t spiked. You just didn’t know your limits and drank to excess and blacked out and did something you didn’t realize you did. I had similar experiences when young. You need to just use it as a learning experience about your tolerance and move on and not drink like that again.

So you made out with a stranger. Ok. Were you in danger? Potentially, yes, you could have been raped, but it sounds like your friends were keeping a close eye on you and that didn’t happen. Deal with the “what if” feeling by understanding that you are in control of your drinking and you will not get like that again. Definitely do practice awareness and safety with your beverages, because yes, there’s a real threat someone could put something in your drink. But just educate yourself on how to be safe, and make it a habit to moderate your drinking and be aware of your surroundings.

This in itself is not a big deal, your mind is blowing it up for some reason and I think you need a little help.

Also, does he have texts from you where you talk about harming yourself, your son, or your daughter (where is she, by the way)? If so, that might give him a basis on which to challenge your custody. A women’s organization will be able to give you legal advice. Please don’t make any sudden moves unless you’re in immediate danger, and even then, call for help.

It doesn’t sound like you’re in the US and I only know how things work in the US, but as a people manager who takes annual harassment training and inclusive interactions training, I can tell you that what he did was absolutely an HR issue. It’s harassment to put someone down on the basis of a protected characteristic, and your company should take it seriously and not tolerate it.

Were any of the bystanders who observed this a people manager? If so, they are actually obligated to report it, so if they didn’t that’s not cool. Even if they’re not people managers, they should have done the right thing and gone to HR.

Does your company have an HR policy on harassment? Go to the intranet and look it up. Read about how they deal with harassment. I think they are obligated to deal with your complaint and then come back to you and explain the resolution. There’s a period of time where they have to look into it and corroborate with others and determine how widespread it is, so you need to be a little patient. If your complaint is the only one, I think they would talk to him about it and let him know he cannot say things like that. It would likely just be a discussion and reprimand. They would not fire him unless they looked into it and found a pattern of harassment and abuse, or he’d done something so egregious it was a fireable offense on its own.

So what’s likely to happen is they’ll come back and let you know they talked to him and assure you this won’t happen again. If they don’t, something is wrong with that company. Unfortunately he’s probably not going anywhere though, and you may want to start looking around for other jobs if you can’t stand working for him.

Yeah I was at lunch Friday with two people born in this century. One of them (21 y/o intern, the son of one of my peers on an adjacent team, comes across like he’s 14, has ADHD and can’t stop talking) was telling me all his fave movies though, and they’re all from the 80s and 90s. This kid… Friday was his last day and after lunch my friend who supervises him had to go pick up her kids from camp, so I was joking that I was going to give him a ton of stuff to do. But then he was sitting next to me talking nonstop about all his favorite sub-reddits 😭 and showing me memes on his phone. He went to the intern goodbye thing but got bored after 5 minutes. I told him to go home. It truly is like babysitting a child who’s a handful. That said, our intern last year was an absolute superstar and we’ve hired him.

Sex education AND access to effective contraceptives you can get without involving your parents.