Kate
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Financial irresponsibility and selfishness are great reasons to break up with someone.
Getting financial counseling, eh, I am skeptical it would change anything for him. He doesn’t seem to care or have any motivation to want to change. I do think YOU should get some, though. 35 with no savings and letting a man-child repeatedly overdraft your bank account? By choice. These are self-destructive decisions you’re making, out of fear of being alone.
I think it’s VERY interesting that every one of your friends has said dump him. That’s not normal. In my experience it has to be a pretty blatantly bad situation for friends to say that, let alone all of them. There’s something to what they’re saying.
For the record, not everyone complains about their partner to their friends. When I’ve done that, I’ve been in a bad relationship. You should stop doing this, as it’s not really fair or constructive to rip into him when he’s not around.
And finally… these things are a big deal. If you marry him, you need to realize you’re going to be his mommy forever. That’s the dynamic you’re signing up for, and that doesn’t tend to work long-term. You’re taking care of everything for him, totally overcompensating, and he’s fucking everything up because he’s a little boy who does not care.
We just tried to order new bedroom furniture but it’s like indefinitely delayed. Furniture stores are screwed rn.
Alyssa Milano said she lost her hair due to COVID. I’m not sure what works or doesn’t work in this situation, but Biotin gummies help me have thicker hair and stronger nails. Also, a good texturizing spray helps. If you have thin spots, Color WOW powder or eyeshadow, or even that Toppik fiber stuff.
Put a small claw clip under the base of your ponytail. Gently pull out the sides of your bun to make it look bigger.
Don’t go see the puppy. I heard a lady say last night that she hadn’t seen her 15-month old grandchild or her 95-year old parents since January. Puppies are great, but not worth getting sick.
I have some team members in India, and my co-worker’s in-laws got it, her MIL and two grandparents. The grandfather has died. India seems like it’s surpassing the US for worst shitshow. I hear they’re not accurately reporting anything and just burying people in ditches.
I always get super traumatized at the vet, after receiving an abrupt cancer diagnosis with my first dog (same thing happened with my parents’ dog), and then with my second dog, a lot happened with his health in his last year of life.
I basically start crying as soon as I get in there now.
@OUN, the thing is, as long as you stay fixated on the bullshit here, in kind of a state of disbelief, you’re not going to move forward. Don’t keep standing there aghast. Accept that the situation is super fucked, isn’t going to get better, and your “job” right now is to find a new FT job or whatever type of gainful employment that you need. This is a train wreck that you need to walk away from. Focus all your attention on job searching / upskilling / whatever it is.
I was at a small company for a couple years that didn’t have its shit together and was a sinking ship. I started looking around months before it finally sank, and was able to transition pretty smoothly to other work and classwork. You need to be doing the same.
Also, my dog had been in for a checkup and bloodwork like 2 weeks or something before we realized he was sick and brought him in to get checked and they figured out it was diabetes. Don’t beat yourself up, these things come on quickly.
I’m sorry, Miss MJ. My late dog was diagnosed with diabetes at age 12, and it’s manageable, but it’s A LOT. You have to stick to a strict feeding schedule and make sure they eat the right amount, and you have to take them into a clinic a bunch of times to get their blood sugar tested hourly throughout the day and make sure the curve looks right so you ensure you have the right insulin dose. It adds up to a lot of $ and time. A friend’s dog had Cushing’s and that’s a lot too.
Anyway, I hope it’s something manageable.
🙁
@OUN, that’s terrible. It sums up so much of the Trump administration too – cutting programs for the poor and people with disabilities, gutting institutions, taking jobs away.
Losing a job always fucks with your self-worth under the best of circumstances. It’s really traumatic. But don’t listen to your family who are talking shit about libraries. They’re wrong. Libraries are incredibly important. Also my mom has a library science degree and had a very successful corporate career in information science stuff.
To be able to make that difference in kids lives, there’s always a need for tutoring, even now, it can be done virtually. My parents are signing up to do it this fall (used to be in person at the housing project, now I think it’s zoom).
This is a terribly hard time, and to lose a job is an emotional roller coaster in itself. Hang on, look for work, and see if there’s something you can do on a volunteer basis to use your wonderful ability to help kids.
@Bethany, contractors can also be more secure. I’ve been contracting for a year at an investment company that doesn’t have any time limit on how long they can use contractors. My boss has brought up a full time position, but it would be less money than I make contracting, and I feel I might be more vulnerable to layoffs if I were FT, while they could keep leveraging contract help. My contract got extended through the end of 2021 and I feel pretty secure.
@Leslie, when I got laid off a few years ago, I got 9 months severance and then some more on top of that for bitching about being old. And healthcare. They’re laying people off from there again now and I think they changed the guidelines so the people don’t get that much.
