katmich15
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“I always feel like I’m the crazy and unreasonable one. ” This is called gaslighting, and it’s very intentional, look up the definition, I suspect you will see a lot of yourself there. He is not sweet and thoughtful, my guess is that he ACTS sweet and thoughtful at times to keep you hooked, but he is actually the person who you describe in your letter, the person who hurts you , belittles you, and makes you feel crazy when you are having completely normal feelings. A therapist could really help you see things more clearly, I would definitely recommend that. And what everyone else said about the wedding, cancel it and walk away from this man. If that’s hard to think of doing, ask yourself if this is the way you want to feel for the rest of your life. I don’t think you know this, but this is not the way a relationship is supposed to be, not at all, no matter what he tells you. You can do much better, get some therapy so you can see that.
I find all of this strange, except for maybe giving his work friend a gift for Christmas or her birthday. The fact that he’s hiding the gifts is definitely a problem, regardless of whether he’s actually cheating. He owes you an explanation, and if the explanation is that he hides them because you would get mad, that’s not acceptable. You are entitled to get mad if he does something inappropriate, and based on his reaction to you finding out about the massage gift card, sounds like he might be a gaslighter. You and he need to talk about what he’s been doing and you deserve an explanation, and to feel however you feel about that explanation.
