ktfran
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Thanks everyone. It was really hard for me to even say something because I usually bottle these types of things up. I’m trying so much harder with the guy because of how much I really like him.
Agreed about Regina’s advice. That’s awesome that you were able to work through these next few weeks despite a couple mishaps. It’s excellent advice for all relationships really.
Yes MissDre, I’m glad you accepted. Just because you’re taking a dating break doesn’t mean you should become a hermit. I also think it’s important to keep yourself open to possibilities… just don’t put a lot of pressure on him or yourself for this to work, or don’t fall into old habits. I think that’s what taking the break is really about.
Ver, when is the next time you see the teacher?
@MissDre, tell us about it. Here is as good as place as any.
@mucha, I agree with Ver. That feeling totally sucks. I’m also with Ver in that is there anything small he can do during the say or evenings that would help ease your uneasy feelings over this? A note? A few extra texts? A phone call? Eating lunch or grabbing coffee during the week? I’ll try to think of other suggestions, but I thought of those right off the top of my head.
Canceling plans is the worst. I don’t do it hardly ever and if I do, it’s for a really good reason, suck as illness or work or an emergency. It’s not to do laundry.
Besides Monday, I still have really good feelings about him. There might be slight feelings of love. He was really receptive to me talking about how I was upset. He said he felt really bad and after he declined, he realized his mistake. We have been spending a lot of time together, and I told him I didn’t need to see him all the time, but when we have solid plans, barring the things mentioned above, I don’t like being canceled on. It upsets me when friends cancel too, so it’s not just him. Anyway, things are progressing nicely.
I agree with Kate, Lianne, et. al about the drink thing. He should have paid and I would have been a little, or very, annoyed.
Actually, I sometimes gets annoyed with the guy because he picks up most tabs. I try, but he beats me to it. Sometimes he lets me. We talked about it last week when I wanted to pay but he had his card out first. He said he likes paying and since it’s not like I’m expecting him to fund our outings, he’s happy to do so. I’d say right now, we’re probably about 75/25. I prefer more 50/50 or 60/40, but he does make quite a bit more than me. I don’t know that for a fact… odds are good that’s the case.
Oh, I think that’s what I’d prefer if I were in an LD Sas, the day update/hear one another’s voice. I could’t do a long, in-depth conversation nightly. Maybe once a week, but not nightly.
Ver – don’t worry about coming on too strong. I think it’s important to stay connected somehow, as Sas mentioned, when it’s long distance. Especially since it’s new.
Ver, for what it’s worth, I don’t think there is a normal. It’s whatever works for you and your relationship. For me and long distance, I think I’d prefer talking (not texting) on the phone at least most evenings for a few minutes, but that’s a preference.
Me and the guy have been spending most nights together, but when we don’t, we send a few texts and always a good night.
I know my friend who recently married… she was long distance for a while. She wanted daily contact and a phone conversation. She wasn’t getting it because the guy wasn’t into talking. They had a few discussions about it and finally they had a norm. So, if something isn’t working for you, speak up and figure out what does.
I was IDK 28 or 29 when it came out, the HPV shot. I asked my doctor if I should get one and she said no… because of my age. So… I dunno.
In other news, I’ve since had it. So there’s that.
So… from my understanding, the HPV shot isn’t recommended for women in their 30s. Is that still the case? Like, do they still say only for women in their late twenties or younger?
That’s great LadyE. I hope he kisses you on your next date. I like kissing. The dog treat idea is really cute.
Kare. 40? How?
He’s my boyfriend. We don’t call each other that out loud. But he is. The other day, while texting, he said something to the effect of “officially being in a relationship, which we have been for a while anyway.” So… yeah, he’s my boyfriend.
Oh… what I meant about being vulnerable is more about opening up. I think a lot of great things, but usually keep them to myself. So, a while ago, I started telling him things I’d usually not say out loud. Then… he told me I only say these nice things after I’ve had a few drinks. So now, I’m saying them before I’ve had a couple drinks. He does know saying these things are hard for me so he has made it easier for me to do it.
@Regina, he does know that this stuff makes me uncomfortable and that I have a hard time expressing things. I pretty much told him that straight up. So… I’ve been slowly opening up to him and complimenting him and letting him see me vulnerable. Now, I need to work on asking things… such as to this event. I’m actually positive that if he doesn’t have plans, he’d be more than happy to come with me. At the same time, I’m still a little guarded with my heart and I’m proceeding cautiously. I just don’t want to move too fast. So, I didn’t know if inviting him to a family engagement party that was basically 3.5 months in the relationship was too fast. But I think Kate is right, it would probably be weirder not to ask him.
Oh… my gut is totally off. I have a habit of being the more careful one in these things and moving at a lot slower pace. I’m really, really trying to be more open and such.
Yeah.. the shower sounds weird. And it’s early for the wedding, which is in June. I guess Nov. is when her sister wanted to come to Chicago… so they’re doing the friend shower/engagement party now.
I’ll probably wait a week and invite him. We’ve already progressed to spending 4 to 5 nights a week together. I’m pretty comfortable. I do still get a little nervous about asking things like this though.
Question.
Yesterday, I received an invite to my cousin’s wedding shower on November 7th. It’s not really a shower in the typical sense. It’s an evening affair with apps and wine and such. It’s also a couple thing. Actually, it’s more like an engagement party.
Should I invite the guy? Too soon? He’d meet a couple cousins, a cousin’s husband, a cousin’s fiance and my sister and her husband.
