ktfran
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Do not feel dumb! This can happen to anyone. Seriously. It’s also hard to see because it’s not physical abuse and so you can shrug it off with a “this is how he is.”
I once dated a manipulative man. My therapist and I talked a lot about the relationship and finally during one session, she asked if I ever looked up emotional abuse. She suggested I do so, I did and I finally realized how bad that relationship was for me. I suggest that to you now. Look it up. See how you react to the questions being asked.
You want to be emotionally healthy for your son. You don’t want him growing up thinking this behavior exhibited by his dad is ok. And I still think this MIL is one nasty (i’ll use that word here) piece of work.
He and his mom are master manipulators. I’m not quite sure who’s really pulling the strings, but she has an intrusive hold on him and he’s manipulating/emotionally abusing you. I’m also not sure why you are mostly focusing on the ceremony and aren’t more angry about the birthday party. And the rest of it… before and after birth… I’m sorry, but that’s not how a loving, considerate husband behaves. Regardless and again. Counseling and boundaries if you want this to work. But he has to want it too.
The movie Hush with Gwenyth Paltrow and Jessica Lange popped into my head just now while reading this thread. Although the husband turned out alright in that film. The MIL, not so much.
“Way harsh Tai” is a quote from the movie Clueless. Cher says it to Tai after Tai tells her “You’re a virgin who can’t drive.”
I may have seen that movie one too many times.
I 100% agree with Kate and everyone else who said counseling is in order. There is a major communication breakdown at play and a total disregard for you and your feelings. On top of that, your MIL is apparently calling the shots.
Let’s forget about the religious dedication ceremony thing for a second… which alone is disturbing. What’s more disturbing… YOUR HUSBAND AND MIL PLANNED A 1ST BIRTHDAY PARTY FOR YOUR SON WITHOUT YOU AND HAD A PARTY WITHOUT YOU THERE.
IMO, that’s beyond the pale.
Counseling.
Copa… you might want to look into buying a dog directly from a breeder. You might have better luck?!?
I know dog adoption is important and there are so many that need homes. But I’ve heard from others how hard it is to go that route.
Holy Shit! Crazytown! Bullet definitely dodged.
Oh, not until July 24th. Carry on.
Dre – You’re a babe! I’m so happy you had a good time.
Kmt – did you post a meetup?
I’m playing DW catch up today. Last week, work and life was insane. I can breathe again after the three day weekend. Oh, and we bought dining room furniture from RH on Sat. And the fiance’s mom bought us rooftop furniture. How adult, finally!
Are we approaching a year a two-year anniversary for this thread?!?
I’ll meet up in Costa Rica. No arm twisting needed.
YES!
This is amazing. I’m ready for a drink.
And I’d totally buy BGM’s baby blingtastic outfits. Can we do something with diapers?
That’s great advice kmt! I like it.
