ktfran
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What missdre said. Fuck that guy.
I’ve had a lot of friends from high school and college who married young and seem to be doing well, with the exception of one.
As an adult living in a large city, most of my friends now, including myself, have waited later to get married and start their families. They’ve all picked good, caring guys. I don’t think they are just FB happy either. We meet up often and you can tell each deeply respects the other.
Anyway, don’t be afraid of marriage. But also don’t get married for the wrong reasons. Rushing it and getting married because you feel like time is running out are def wrong reasons. Or staying with someone because you’re scared. Not good.
My fiancé was married before. He tells me soon after he was engaged, he knew it was wrong but didn’t call off the wedding. They divorced shortly after. It was a get married because all his friends were type of thing and they had been together awhile.
Totally better to not hear about him.
Ale. I like this side of you. He’s behaving so poorly. He’s reaching out for two reasons, and neither of them is because he’s hurting. He reaches out to make himself feel better and because he misses having someone to take care of him. Everything he has done and is doing is selfish. Please remember that. Don’t let him weasel his way back into your heart. Ever.
I was close to suggesting the same thing as Kate. I really do think it’s a good option to consider. At this point, it’s 100% harassment.
Ale. Ignore him. If he shows up at the gym, finish up your workout and leave. If he approaches you, calmly tell him you’re finishing your workout and to leave you be. DO NOT ENGAGE. That’s what he wants. And as long as you do, he still has some kind of twisted hold on you.
He can’t remember his password? Fuck that. That are ways to reset your password. If he that’s clueless about life, then he needs way more help than you can offer.
Again. DO NOT ENGAGE! It’s like that sign do not feed the bears. Stop feeding this one.
@Ale, I like that you’re angry at him. That’s good! Because he’s a jack hole and you deserve better. Don’t let him get the better of you. You’re strong. Remember that.
I’m sorry you’re going through this, but you will get through it. Do anything and everything you need to do to move forward. Sending you lots of good thoughts.
My friend and her now husband met through match or something similar. They had gone on a date or two and she didn’t know if she was interested. Then bam. Her brother died. Her now husband gave her space while also checking in and after some of the dust settled, pursued her again. This is all before I met them. But from what I understand and through conversations, the way he backed off and was understanding of her grief changer her mind about him. He went from a most likely no to a yes. They’ve been married 9 years or so.
So @copa, I wouldn’t write him off completely yet. The death is still fresh. I think you can reach out in a few days and check in.
Exactly what Kate said. You need time. It’s ok to set up boundaries. Also, I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I haven’t piped in yet, but I am sorry. Do what you need to do to be ok again.
Crochet, I was the same as you. I spotted pretty much for a month, plus my cycle was off for a couple of months. As in, I don’t think I had my normal period the first month and the second it either came late or early. It was a long time ago.
I’ve had to take Plan B a couple of times. It does mess with you cycle for a couple of months so you’re probably fine. Although I’d say taking a pregnant test is worth it to stop the worrying.
@ver, I missed the post where you were going to go out with this guy. I’m glad you had a good time. I think it’s good to be a little guarded at first, but also, relax and have fun!
@kmt, maybe you were both having an off day. Or maybe he was and took it out on you. It happens. I’m glad you worked it out. Have a great time on your trip next week.
