lemongrass
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I know that it was a typo- but we really are a party of a community! It’s nice to feel so involved with everyone, especially since it is so hard to make friends as an adult although I’m finally getting the guts to ask people out on friend-dates. I really appreciate everyone here as well, no one has told me off for letting my son swallow me whole since that is all I ever talk about anymore (but really, he is so 24/7 in his care that I don’t have anything else to talk about) and it is so helpful to know that if I have an issue that I can bring it here!
honey- I think it’s because nobody has ever heard my name pronounced my way that they are so rude about it. Or they are just trying to break the Canadian stereotype.
I have to say, I love that my aunts address my Christmas cards to Mr. & Mrs. X, I get a weird thrill.
On the name change thing- my husband was on facebook and said to me “Oh, our friend (who got married a couple months ago) hasn’t changed her name on facebook yet.” I had to remind him, “well, maybe she isn’t changing it!” He just simply didn’t think about that since it is so common among our friends.
Dairyland is the “cheap” brand of milk where I am, it’s all I can think of when I see your name!
Teehee. I’m too terrified of all the crazy stuff I admitted on here going public to say! If I did say it, anyone who knows me would instantly know it was me.
Addie- as I said above, I have a very unusual name. Get this- my husbands first name matches my first name. Like “Paul and Paula” except mine is unusual. People ask me if I’m going to name all my kids similarly so we all match. I say no, because I’m not a Kardashian.
No! I’m not that crazy! I meant his face was red.
Some people get offended if you correct them, simply because you are correcting them. My FIRST name is really uncommon here (never heard of anyone having the same name) but it is spelt the same as a common nickname, just not pronounced the same. I don’t bother correcting people I’ll never see again but I do correct people I will or if they ask me if they pronounced it right. People have been incredibly rude about it. I’m pretty polite when I correct people as I do it all the time “actually, my name is pronounced X, Y is the american version but I go by the european version.” My tone of voice is in check too. People tell me that I pronounce my name wrong (how is that even possible?), that I shouldn’t bother, that it’s stupid. Or they just plain assume my name is the full version of the other name and have called me that. Once, on the job some old guy read my name tag and said “I can’t believe this place would let you use your nickname.” I definitely got a red apology from him.
Lyra- My MIL calls my FIL Mr. (wrong pronunciation of their last name) all the time and it really confused me for the first 2 years. I was about 99% sure she was saying it wrong just to tease him but they are very deadpan humour type people and so I just didn’t say my husband’s last name for a couple years. I finally just asked him what exactly was the proper way and he said his mom was just teasing but it took until I was engaged until I fully felt comfortable saying it in front of his family.
painted lady- I think you should hyphenate. Mr. & Mrs. Motherfucking Badass.
I view a guy wanting a woman to take his last name the same way I view a woman wanting a man to give her an engagement ring. Would we be okay with a man saying “I know it’s tradition to give you an engagement ring but I don’t really think it is fair of you to ask me to spend all that money on it so I’m not going to.” Some of you would be okay with that. I wanted an engagement ring. Neither of us are wrong. I think that changing your name is a very individual decision and no one should look down on either’s choices. I also think that it is valid for a man to have an opinion and this can be something that the couple can compromise on. I don’t think it is okay for a man to force a woman to change her name, but then again I don’t think it’s okay for anyone to force anyone to do anything so that issue is really about force and not about name changing.
There is no right-or-wrong way about changing your name. Just what is right-or-wrong for the individual.
Bethany- my MIL refers to people’s partner’s as their boyfriends and it drives me nuts. Like she’ll call and ask me “is your boyfriend around?” It really drives me up the wall. I hate the term “boyfriend” as it is and I thought I was done with it when I got married. But I don’t say anything because she’s just trying to be funny and does it for her own marriage and even did it to MY mom not long ago. My mother is pretty serious so she probably thought it was silly.
A note on wedding cheques- even if you know the bride is changing her name, make sure you write “Mr. OR Mrs.” instead of “Mr. AND Mrs.” that way either party can cash it. Banks need both people there if it says ‘and.’ This really surprised me because we had joint bank accounts from before we were engaged and they always let me deposit his cheques without him there but apparently there is a protocol change with that little ‘and.’
