Moneypenny

I had a conversation with some people in my workout class about gift giving, and I think every person who was shopping for nieces/nephews was shocked at the expensive stuff they were asking for! One was asking for Airpods- and my friend was surprised/confused because… she’s 11? And doesn’t even have a phone? Anyhoo.

I have an 11 year old nephew and I’m giving up on getting him gifts (since he has previously not been too excited about my gifts) and instead I’m going to either give him a $50 bill or a gift card to target. The younger nephew (age 6.5) will get some legos and/or hot wheels and puzzles. Quite frankly, I’m less invested in gifting them stuff since I haven’t seen either since *last* Christmas nor talked to them in any form, so I’m not putting much effort into their gifts this year!

I just started to incorporate tretinoin into my routine – I use the lowest strength, 0.025%. I went to the dermatologist a month ago and I asked her about a small area of melasma on my chin, and she suggested the tret plus adding zinc sunblock into my routine. I always wear sunblock but I realized that what I use doesn’t have zinc in it! I have fair skin, freckles, and haven’t had many texture or acne issues. In my early 20’s i used Retin-A and it was horrible- my skin flaked off and was red and sensitive. I think the low dose tret seems to be working – no negative side effects and I think the melasma is lightening already! I have also been using it elsewhere on my face, as the doc said it is great for anti-aging. We’ll see!

@BloodyMediocrity – I’m sorry about your divorce, but it sounds like things are getting on the up and up for you!

@Wendy – I definitely feel pretty happy. I always love your posts and stories, especially things you post about NY. 🙂

@copa, Hi! OMG, that is insane about your friend’s wedding. It seems like even doing something small (like under 50 people) is still expensive and takes as much coordinating as something larger. Just, ugh. Story: I found out about my friend’s $70k price tag because her sister in law is now planning her own wedding for this summer (in Napa). The current budget for it is $120k!!! But also, the mom is also like, “I just don’t see how we can have a cocktail hour without an oyster bar!!” So you can imagine what it’s going to be like. My friend’s wedding was really nice and not crazy over the top – the nice thing (and what I suspect what made it pricey) was that the venue hosted them for 2.5 days and also had some on-site cabins so the wedding party was able to stay there. Planning wise, it helped keep it simple with everything at one location. But it came with a price tag, of course!

My parents were like this OP. I wasn’t allowed to get my license til right before I graduated hs. I only could go to a college close enough to commute to and live at home, because they were not going to fund my “lifestyle” and pay for room/board and it was cheaper to buy me a car and pay for my gas/insurance. (It was a good school, to be fair, and I had a choice of local colleges, but still.) My father freaked out when, at 22, I told them I wanted to move out of the house. I *could* have told them, no, I don’t want your financial help, I’ll go to community college and then transfer wherever I want on my own dime. But I was young and wanted to get in/out of school and this seemed the path of least resistance. Once I was on my own I made plenty of mistakes, and meanwhile my parents backed way off and we have a good relationship.

My point is I guess… you have good intentions. I think we all agree on that. But you need to not push your daughter like this. Give your input, sure – I’m sure that’s hard not to do – but that’s it! Give her some space. She’s an adult. You can’t control the outcome but you can give advice and she can take it if she wants it. I feel like there’s a transition time in parent/child relationships where parents have to get used to their children being adults and not children, even though they’re still your child.

Robert, I’m so sorry about your mom. The last year has totally thrown everything upside down, so I’m glad to hear you are doing ok and have stayed healthy.
Others have given you a lot of good advice. Please get back into therapy! It’s a process, and the sooner you get back into it and working on things the better you will feel. And it’s fine to take a break from dating. Things are so weird these days anyway (and better to be safe about it because of Covid). I recall being active on 3 or 4 different dating apps at the same time, and then realizing it was just exhausting. It’s fine to take a break. Also, it really is a numbers game, like casting a net of opportunity. But for now, I really think you need to get back into therapy and get vaccinated!

@CurlyQue, have you had luck finding anything for your grandmother?

Eligibility for 16+ opens here on Thursday, and I was able to make an appointment for Friday morning in the next county over! The county sites are now open to anyone who lives or works there (my office is there). The website crashed last night but I tried again on a whim this morning and one location had availability! I don’t know which mfr. it is, but I’m just glad to finally be able to sign up.